


Red, White and Blue: Creating the White Queen

by StarsAndDiamond



Series: Red, White and Blue [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Artist Steve Rogers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Cheating, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Masturbation, Protective Steve, Romance, SHIELD, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Shy Steve, Therapist Emma, Therapy, teacherEmma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-03-26 04:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 70,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3837229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsAndDiamond/pseuds/StarsAndDiamond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Frost a mutant/a psychologist accepts a job at Shield for two "special" patients. The one tricks his way out of every session and the other just hates her with a passion. Fixing them is not easy and it means fixing yourself along the way. Every relationship starts somewhere, the question is just where it ends. Hydra is on their toes though, making Steve try to save his friends and Shield in the process, but when is enough enough ? When they move away from being just therapist and patient, will they understand each other ?<br/>(very OOC Emma Frost, so no crossover) (lemons in later chapters)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one of three to Red, White and Blue. :)

**Author’s note:**

I have not written in ages, but I hope to start again. Also I need a project otherwise I will be bored out of my mind now that I have graduated from school.

It’s maybe an unusual pairing, but as you will see Emma is hardly anything than what she is like in the comics. I love her character first for her abilities, but then also I thought she was very interesting in how she handles her situations and her background. But this fic is primarily concerned about her abilities. It felt wrong to create a new character with the same abilities. Also Captain is my favourite male character, after him comes a bulk of favourites, haha. Yet I think they would somehow be a good match, although they are so different.  


So sadly none of the characters belong to me, they belong to Marvel.  
If they did, then this would definitely be a ship!

 

**Chapter 1**

Laughing she looked at the man next to her. Steve, her patient.

“What happens, if I press this button?” he asked waving his new smartphone around.

“You make terrible pictures”, she could not stop laughing for this must be the most ridiculous session she ever had with a patient. Mr. Fury said, that Steve might be instable and troubled, because of his past. Yet here sat a man laughing about a little silver box, a smartphone. Of course they would have to get to his proper treatment soon, but she liked getting to know her patients before and with Steve this was possible. She tried to be a friend, as it is easier to open oneself to a friend. His blonde hair fell in front of his eyes, which sparkled with a mischievous glint. Of course he knew what he was doing. He was teasing her and she enjoyed it.

Before she came to Shield, she lost five jobs although she had certain degrees and was well educated. Her method of treating a patient was different, her ability was different. She had a degree in psychology and took extra courses in sexual behaviour. She figured that some people differ so much in the bedroom from how they behave outside, that looking at this might be very sensible. Only a small amount of people knew of her ability. It was the reason she was chosen to work for Shield. Emma Frost was a mutant. She was able to turn her body into organic diamond, needless to say that she hardly ever bruised. Yet the ability for which she was chosen, was not her ability to escape being hurt. Emma was a very capable telepath. Her patients had no secrets in front of her, which made many uncomfortable. Yet it was essential for Shield. The man next to her saved the dreadful picture and opened his contact list. She had offered him to give him her contact details, if he felt the need for a talk outside of her office hours. Emma took the smartphone and filled in the contact details.

“Just try not to dial my number, when you are drunk”, she joked. Captain America wouldn’t get drunk, would he?

“I cannot promise that” he replied with a sly wink. Very charming.

“Right, well let’s talk about why you are here”, fun time was over. He was here for a reason and she would need to fulfil her job.

“Sorry doctor, times up.” Grinning he got up from the leather couch. When she looked at her watch she realized, that he was right. His time was more than over. Yet they had not talked about anything on her list. Perplexed she got up and let him out of the room.

“See you next time, doctor.” With twinkling eyes he left, and he left her absolutely speechless. This man managed to through her time plan out of the window and managed to make her lose track of time. How? This was very unexpected. In her office she tried to get her head around what had happened. He came in, introduced himself and then? Then he started pointing her attention towards him being incapable of working with modern technical devices. Sly. Very smart. Emma sat down at her mahogany desk and started writing her report. How would she explain to Fury, that Rogers played her to get out of his session? Worse, he would even be able to now deduct that session from his minimum amount. She would have to be very careful next time he came in. Right down to business.  That was how she was going to work through the next session.

With that in mind she sent her report to Fury. It was much shorter, than she wished for her first day.

_Patient Rogers is not willing to freely speak about his past, or anything bothering him. It may be worth considering to raise the amount of needed sessions._

_Mr. Rogers is fully aware of the precaution being taken and is in possession of my contact data, if there should be a problem._

_With kind regards,  
Emma Frost._

This must do. If that continues, she thought she might as well change her profession. Sighing she looked at the picture of the man she left behind. A small wooden frame with specks of diamonds made of her tears. Scott had a way of doing these things for her. Letting her fingertips run over his smile. She always stayed near enough in the vicinity so that they could at least see each other at weekends, but now she as miles away. She missed him. Although she was not that sure, if it was the same for him. After such a big row, you just cannot be sure. Of course he was furious, that she accepted the job, furious and sad. Leaving in a hurry was probably also very hurtful. Closing her eyes she tried not to think of her problems anymore.  
What do they say about psychiatrists? The group of people with the highest suicide rate. Well what do you expect, when you chose to listen to other people’s problems every day and won’t get spared by the problems yourself?  
The loud sound of an arriving E-mail tore her out of her thoughts and made her open her eyes again.

_You are not the first to be fooled by Rogers.  
Get that man talking._

Damn.

 

 

The small blonde jumped around the room in her pyjamas. At work she had to be firm and proper, but at home she could be as childish as she wished.

_“We’ve been singing Billy Jean,_  
 Mixing vodka with caffeine  
We got a stranger passing bye(eeeeeeeee)

_And though their out of tune_  
Girl you blow my mind, you do  
And all I say is, that I don’t want to say good night

_But there’s no quiet corner,_  
To get to know each other  
Well there’s no hurry,  
I’m a patient man as you’ll discover “

At least this time the hairbrush would not have to suffer of this performance. Getting home from work to a flat which is very quiet and very dark and very deserted needs a lot of singing over the loneliness. The shouting was in fact so successful, that Emma didn’t hear her phone ringing. Twice. Well never mind, its 10 o’clock in the evening, who calls at that time anyway?  
When the music faded on to the next song and then decided to torture her with advertisement, she decided to just go to bed. The silence would not change, whether she tortured her neighbours with her voice or left the radio on loud. Maybe one should invest in a pet, but then the poor thing would be at home alone, while Emma was at work. So she abandoned that thought.

It was comfortable. Shield knew how to treat their employees. But it was not homey. It was not familiar. It was quiet. Blasted silence. She reached over to her phone, seeing the missed call. Hm. Unknown number. Well, whoever it was would have to call again if it was important.

Her smartphone screen showed a picture of her and Scott. A new one, it was made just a few days before she left. Before the fight broke out in which all the miniature problems, they had already had were blown out of proportion. A close to break up fight. Yet the words break up, had not been said. Yet. Of course she didn’t want to lose him. He had been a very large part of her life. Her first kiss. Her first relationship. Her first everything. That is not something to just forget in a day or two.  Quickly she typed out a message and hoped he would answer. Unlike before the messages he clearly must have not gotten, otherwise he would have called. Maybe she should try to call. Maybe.

_Good night, Scott_  
Sleep well  
Love you much  
Please call me in the morning!  
  
That sounded about right. Not needy or desperate. Not alone. Oh, who are you kidding? Emma sent the message, turned around and tried to sleep. It was her second week in New York. The fifteenth night with disturbing bright lights, sounds of cars, and the sound of the TV of her poor neighbour.

 (song: stay the night – James blunt)

 

Of course he did not call. But that not a priority at the moment.

Emma woke up in the morning with rays of sun shining through her window. Although the city was uncomfortable at night, she liked the look of it now. It seemed calmer, at least as long as she lay in her bed. She turned around to have another nap before her alarm went off, when her eyes flew open. 9:20. She had slept in. The alarm was not set. She was late. Very late. Damn.

Quickly she jumped out of bed, got dressed and skipped her coffee in favour of buying one on the way, which would be a lot faster than her old little water kettle. Running down the stairs she just missed the bus and started a sprint down the street. Good thing that she is used to her shoes. Shoes. Hey eyes flew downwards. Trainers under her business attire. Well at least she could run to work. The first Starbucks on the way was packed, but from her morning routine she knew there were 3 more coffee shops on the way.

As fate wishes the last one had the least customers. Hopefully no one wanted to see her before she got there. She quickly stood in the queue, when a sick feeling came to her stomach.  


“What do you mean you don’t have soy milk? I want a refund on this coffee! Send me the manager!”

This could only be a bad joke. A really bad one. How would she function without coffee? How would she function without one of those yum looking bagels and that sweet chocolate muffin? Decisions, decisions. A glance at her watch made her decision a very simple one. She turned on her heels and ran back out towards the tall glass building of Shield headquarters. Just as she ran up to the entry a motorbike pulled up. Tall, handsome and those blue eyes. Her patient.

“Morning, Doctor.” Steve grinned, he definitely knew she was late. How could all of this be happening?

“Good morning, Mr. Rogers. I expect you in my office at 2.” Trying to keep her calm and not rush up the stairs she stepped into the building and towards the escalator, only to be stopped by a man kneeling on the floor. Technician. Looking around she saw elevators and a very long staircase. Stairs it is then.

“Nice shoes, doctor!” she heard Steve shout, as she ran up the stairs. Her office just had to be so high up. Ignoring her patient and the confused looks of other employees, she just managed it into her office before her phone started ringing. Emma sat down at her desk and picked up the phone.

“You are late Frost.”

“I am so sorry, Sir, my alarm..” Of course it had to be Fury. A glance at her answering machine told her, that he had already called before. This cannot be good.

“I am not interested in excuses. I have another patient for you. Now that you have decided to grant us your presence I will send Miranda up with him. She is to stay in the office for your protection. “, his voice sounded strained and gruff. As if he was worried. A bodyguard during her patient’s session. I don’t think so.

“Mr. Fury, I do not think, that having someone in the office, whilst a patient is trying to open themselves, is a reasonable idea.” Her careful approach at going against his orders, was turned down by a fast “do as you are told”. Putting down the phone she lay her head onto her desk. Her stomach growled loudly. Lack of food in the office. Lack of coffee. Lack of ability to concentrate.  
Even before she noticed the folder on her desk, it knocked and in stepped a tall woman with an equally tall man behind her. As she stood she realized his haggard looks. Long hair, dark searching eyes, strong but aggressive composure. The most noticeable was the metal arm which shined in the dim light of her desk.  
The woman pushed him down onto the couch. Her tight jeans hugged her form, but she moved with precision and her hand rested on the gun in her holster. She did not trust him. 

“Good morning. Director Fury already informed me, that you will be staying. You may take a seat.” Emma pointed at a small lounge chair next to a bookshelf. Ms Carter shook her head in declination. Her eyes rested on his form and never left it.

Sighing Emma sat down opposite of her new patient. Out of the corner of her eyes she could see the folder on her desk. She didn’t even know what his name was. Well, he did not need to know that.

“What is your name?”  Her eyes settled expectantly on his face, but was met with silence.

 “Fine, how old are you?” Silence. Irritated she rolled the pencil between her fingers.

“Who are you?” Silence.  Well if he doesn’t talk he must think. She mentally reached out to him, she could feel the presence, but all she heard was _for god’s sake, what is that woman doing?_ Alright, so the bodyguard is also irritated. Searching his mind was more difficult than expected. It was in shambles. Everything seemed to belong nowhere. No fixed timelines. Faces without names, names without faces. This man was broken. Fury had chosen her for her abilities, now she knew why. This was going to be a very long day.

Working with Barnes was a giant puzzle. He answered all of her questions with silence. On the other hand he seemed to be catching up very quickly, as her questions became more precise. Although she searched his mind, nothing seemed to faze him enough to catch him off his guard. His eyes never left hers. If he wouldn’t start answering soon she would have to force him some way. Barnes’ self-control was remarkable. His mind never wandered, he never thought about her questions, all he thought about was Emma’s face. Which in turn started to make Emma most uncomfortable. If she herself had not been so irritated herself, she would have never gone ahead and shouted out the found fragment of his mind. This little memory, which could help her.

“You know Steve!” Excitement, surprise, smugness were all wiped from her face as he jumped up in a split second and grabbed her throat. Wide scared eyes focused on narrowed aggressive eyes. Yet there was a glint of confusion, before it was replaced by a dominating determination. Emma could see Miranda carefully walking into her eyesight, gun trained at Barnes’ back.

“Barnes, let her go. Now.” The grip loosened, but he did not let go yet. He respected Ms Carter.

“I said now.” She stood next to him, unsure of what to do next, she carefully laid her hand onto his wrist and steered it away. “We will go now, doctor.” Without any further ado he let her lead himself out. Miranda seemed to be very good at her job, very determined, very precise and sharp. Watching her patient being led away, she noticed his form losing some of its tension. This might be something useable.

Settling down at her desk she felt at her throat. What if he had not let go? What if he had cut off her air supply? She was terrified, but she believed that so was he. Grabbing the folder she started reading about what she should have known. Unlike with Steve her notebook was quickly filled with information, analyses and questions.  
Steve and James knowing each other was valuable information. She could work on both and maybe she could get them to sit down together. When Barnes’ is stable though. No more throat terror. Steve’s information was marked with only two words: _Attention Sneaky!_ After rereading his background she stuck a post it to the side and noted down to ask about Barnes. If she could get Steve talking about him, he might also open up about other things troubling him.

 

Although her stomach growled in protest she skipped lunch break for catching up some more background reading on Steve and James’ mission and so on. At two o’clock sharp there was a knock at her office.

“Come in, Mr. Rogers” fumbling around for her pen and a fresh sheet of paper. When she got up he already stood in the middle of the room, placing a plate full of sandwiches and two paper cups of coffee on the small table.  
“I didn’t see you at lunch, so I brought you some here. In case you were hungry.” He smiled softly at her and sat down. We are not spending our time eating. Well yes, we will be eating. Eating and talking. Emma sat down opposite of him. “Thank you, that’s very kind”, she smiled at him and took a bite out of her sandwich. Starvation halted. There was enough time to finish this sandwich. Amused he watched her and sipped at his coffee.

“Right, I would like to speak to you about James Barnes today. He is here, do you know that?” His smile grew tired for a moment, tension laced his frame.

“Yes, I brought him here. His mission was to kill me. Only by a little bit of luck I was able to grab him and since then he’s been here. They are trying to “fix” him. If that is even possible” he answered truthfully. The day before his voice had been so soft, yet always with a laughing and teasing edge to it. Now his voice, although still soft, just sounded tired and sad.  He must be quite lonely.

“Not “they” are trying to fix him. I am. I will give my best. He had some very terrifying things done to him and you must understand, that that is not an easy way. Of course you know by first-hand experience, that his mind was influenced. Some things can be fixed. It’s why I am here. Why I chose this job.” Steve seemed to put very much emphasis on honesty, so she tried to treat him the same way. Knowing of her ability at this stage was not a good idea, and although she treated him as an equal friend, she was still his doctor.

“No offence, but they already tried a lot. I am starting to believe, that it’s a lost call.” Steve’s eyes searched hers, never leaving them as he grabs for his coffee and takes another sip. Although his voice sounded nonchalantly, his mind worried about this situation. His best friend never being the same. His only connection to his own past. There was so much connected to their connection. Lowering her eyes she grabbed for another sandwich. “Nothing is ever completely lost, Steve.”  
While she munched her second sandwich she took the time to listen to him think, search his memories, think of the next question. There would not be a lot of talking in either of the two patient’s sessions.

“Try to explain your friendship to James to me. What was he like, when you were younger?”  It was making him uncomfortable. Another thing to add to her notebook _ask about preserum!_  
  
“We grew up together. When we were kids he saw me getting beat up out on the street. I used to be sick all the time and in proportion to that very skinny. Bucky was at least a head taller than me then, which never changed until the serum. He yelled at the other children to hit someone their own size. His parents worked really hard every day, so while we got older we stuck together like siblings, especially after my mother died. He offered to take me in. I was already in my own flat then. Although he also worked very hard every day, he took care of me when I got sick again. He would use his earned money to buy me medicine instead of saving it. Those were very different times. When I felt good I would take out the newspaper around the block we lived and if I was sick again Bucky would do it after work. For a long time it seemed as though all I ever did became a rescue mission for him. Anything I wanted to do. He just cared too much. We had some good fights about that when the war broke out.” He reminisced with a small smile. These memories still made him happy. She noted down the most important things, when she raised her head to look at him he was watching her.

“What?” she smiled back at him settling her notebook comfortable on her knee.

“You bite your lip, when you are concentrating.” _Adorable.._ His thoughts flooded her mind. Blushing she huffed, but then decided to just laugh it off. So she gave him a big smile. “I know, but we are talking about you now.” Winking she searched his face for escaping behaviour.

“What was it like for you to be cared for so much back then?” She went to grab her coffee, when his hand shot out. As if a volcano exploded the hot, brown liquid spread out to conquer the table, the notes and the sandwiches.  
“Oh no, I am so sorry!” he grabbed a packet of tissues and started wiping up the mess. His cheeks flared up in a cute shade of red and laughed as he threw the messy tissues in the bin. Emma quickly grabbed the plate of sandwiches before it would be made an island and watched the good coffee go to waste. Preoccupied with wiping down the table and saving her notes time flew by again. When the table was once again dry, he glanced at his watch and smirked. “Hours over, doctor. See you tomorrow” With a grin he stood up and promptly left.

Oh for god’s sake, this has to be a joke. A very cruel one. Rogers had sacrificed her coffee for his secrets. If the public gathered how “Captain America” really was they would be ashamed. Very ashamed. Why did no one tell her that Rogers was so sneaky?

After working on what she found out about both clients she shortened her three page long report, as there would be no lying to Fury anyway.

_ Patient Barnes  _

_Mr. Barnes reacts violently towards the mentioning of Mr. Rogers. Memories and identification of names and faces are confused.  
Agent Carter seems to have a calming effect on Mr. Barnes. Also I am concerned about Mr. Barnes’ living quarters. His appearance lacks the approach of soap. _

_ Patient Rogers _

_Mr. Rogers is keen on keeping his secrets to himself and on interrupting my appointments. Yet he seems to have more problems with the behaviour of others towards him, than actually having troubles with his persona._

_  
If Rogers talks about his past and Mr. Barnes, then one can use this information on Mr. Barnes. If Mr. Barnes can be calmed enough about Mr. Rogers it might be wise to council them together._

_With kind regards,  
Emma Frost _

 

Packing her bag with the notes she had made and the folder about Barnes, she wandered off downstairs and out of the building. Hopefully now there would be a chance for a coffee. The office given to her by Shield was very nice, spacious, light, comfortable, but she still felt better working outside or at home. Finally getting a warm coffee, she allowed herself a bagel and also that chocolate muffin she had been eyeing at breakfast time. Taking her food and caffeine, she walked the short distance towards the park and sat down on the grass. First things first, the coffee had to be protected. Taking a sip from the hot liquid was hot pleasure running down her throat. She enjoyed her coffee and food, when she saw a familiar face jog by. The third time. He was probably cheating. Not even Captain America is that fast. Starting to reread the files she could not help glancing up every few minutes to see if he came back again.  
She was being followed by this blonde. Emma was more than sure of it. This could not be another coincident.

A familiar sound of her mobile ringing in her bag tore her attention from watching out for Captain Joggers. Excitedly she swiped the screen to take the call.  
“Scott! You called! Finally!” happily she started to tug at her blouse. Scott made her nervous. Even on the phone. Yet the happy feelings soon took a titanic course.  
  
“Ems, sorry, that I didn’t call. Listen. I won’t be coming to see you next weekend. I think it would be better if this is the end of our relationship.” His voice sounded gruff and cold. Nothing like the man she knew and loved. Nothing like the man she left at home.  
  
“Scott, no, don’t do this. Please, we can manage this. We managed everything up until now..!” Down the line she heard an annoyed sigh.  
  
“Good bye, Emma.” The steady tooting of the hung up line sounded loudly into her ears. Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn’t believe it. This could not be happening. Scott was her life. Emma had her whole future planned out on Scott. Grabbing her bag, she ran from the park as fast as she could. Her clouded vision, never saw the grin turn to concern. A teasing smile turning to confusion and worry.

 

**Author’s Note:**  
  


Well I hope you now have a little time for a little comment on what you thought about it J

Also there is a vacancy for a beta reader, if anyone can be bothered to put up with me, haha

SK


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Motionless. Everything is just a blur.  
If your boyfriend breaks up with you, it is very tragic. If he breaks up with you after a few days, you better start thinking if there’s something wrong with you. Yet if he breaks up with you after 9 Years, then you better think about what could ever be so horrible that nine years just seem worthless.  
Of course some couples grow distant from one another. They fight, they quarrel, they scream, they cry, but that never happened. Until New York flew onto Emma’s plate, with the opportunity of something new. A new chance to live out her dream job. Helping people seemed the right thing to do at the time. It is always important. But you are not asked every day to help Captain America. It all seemed a lot easier, especially if you are sitting at a table with all the people you love.  
  
Now here we lie, we rest in peace and close our eyes.

  
Not.  
  
Emma sat at her desk working. Working is great to keep occupied. After a nice cry, a loud howl and ear shattering screams hurt turned to anger and anger to a void.  
There is a big difference in telling people how to feel better and actually doing it for yourself.

oOo

  
The next morning Emma went at the day as every morning. She had a slice of ghost toast and a following slice of burnt toast, the shower was first too cold and then too hot and her clothes did not match her shoes. Tragic, but matching shoes were hard to find these days. Especially if trainers come in neon colours and pink. Who wears pink running shoes?  
 Also the same as the morning before there were queues in every coffee shop she entered, but as she was not late the wait was worthwhile and this way Steve could not bring her food and spill coffee all over her notes. For future reference Steve will not be offered anything liquid anymore.  
Just like the morning before there was a motorbike parked next to the entrance of Shield Headquarter. Rogers must have reserved himself that spot or just plainly ignores parking orders. Both possible in this case.

“Good morning, doc” he winked, but it was not the usual grin that she came to know, when he fled her office. His tone was also more reserved and serious. Another side of Captain Rogers? By the time that the therapy is finished there will probably be a script for “the many faces of Captain America: things you would have never guessed!”

“Good morning, I’ll be waiting for you in my office at two o’clock sharp.” A quick glance at him and she saw him nod in confirmation. Good. Striding past him she walked up the stairs, not trusting the escalator and entered her office.  There at her window stood a man, she had only ever seen from pictures and who, technically was her boss, although in theory that was not true because she herself decided how to treat her patients and to which final point.

“Director Fury?” Emma’s voice was trained in the art of lying through your teeth. Although she was very nervous, there would not be a second chance at this job. So following this she had to be as professional as she could.

“Yes. Miss Frost, you are concerned about Barnes’s.. accommodation.” He did not look at her, he never turned away from the window. Her position as the inferior was more than obvious.

“Yes, indeed. He looks like a homeless person, not like someone receiving high quality treatment to fix his mind. Shield’s building is made of glass, which is excessively cleaned. How come that people being held here are not granted a certain hygiene.” Now. It has been said. Where are the boxes? I’ll be out of the door in less than ten seconds. That was the shortest job I ever had. She kept on rambling in her mind and did not notice the director turn to study her. Her mind was so distracted by her own thinking that she did not even try to reach out to search his mind.  
  
“Miss Frost, if you believe that then be my guest and follow me down to where Barnes stays. You yourself wrote to me, that he is a confused man.” The Director left the room and strode off. There was no other option but to follow him. A few minutes later and a few floor down they entered a room with dozens of screens hanging on the wall and showing many of the floors they had just passed.

“Show me Barnes’s quarters.”  The command was there, but not harsh. This man know how to get the best work from his people.

On a screen appeared a room, which may have once been light and clean, but was now a resemblance of Barnes’ appearance. Interesting. The walls were a light grey, he had two normal sized windows, which were so dirty, that hardly no light was let into the room. The furniture was upturned and the mattress of the bed bare. The small bathroom did not look as if it had ever seen a cleaner.

“Is he supposed to keep it clean himself?” she scanned the room for personal item or any item to make it look at least a bit like a living quarter.

“The cleaner comes in during each therapy session. Give him ten minutes and the place is a mess again.”  Fury’s eyes were trained on the form sitting next to the bed. Long shaggy hair falling in front of Barnes’ eyes, but not hiding, where his attention lay.  Uncomfortable at the steel eyes staring at her through the camera she turned away.

“Well.. I will continue the sessions in my office, I might be able to get him more comfortable with a clean surrounding. If he does embark to that stage, it might be of interest to let him outside with me and some agents. I will get him to a barber for a shave and a haircut and he needs new clothes. Letting him out, even with Shield agents following us, he will realize that he is no prisoner here.” Nodding at her own idea, she turned to leave the room.

“We will see about that.”

 

On the way up to her office Emma planned her session with Barnes and informed Carter about the change in plan. Get him talking is not an option at this point. Priority is get him comfortable and clean. Then we can talk. Definitely need to ask Rogers about Barnes’ cleanliness. Maybe he was always a slob, but then again he was in the Army a while and the Army did not allow being a mess.

First Barnes, then Rogers. Should switch that around. Use Rogers against Barnes for his own good. Hm. Emma had never given a real thought about manipulating her patients because of what she knew, but they were knitted so closely together that one string would not fold without the other. But which one is the loose string?

Things to do:

  1.       Switch Rogers and Barnes sessions. Rogers goes first.
  2.       Ask about what made ‘Bucky’ comfortable
  3.       Give Barnes a haircut without being strangled.



Why did she not have a secretary? That would make things a lot easier. All one would have to do was press a little button and say what you need. A coffee-slave would be great as well.

Passing the cafeteria she picked up her lunch and coffee and went up to her office. Yet looming in front of her office was a big bulky form, which was hammering against her door and with a plastic bag hanging from the other hand.

Oh god, Rogers brought lunch again.

“No need to bang my door down just because I don’t answer.” Grinning she pushed past him and unlocked her office.

“I was worried. It’s already five past two. You don’t seem to have great regard for lunchtimes.” He marched behind her into her office and plopped himself down on her couch. “That’s why I went and got us some lunch.”

“Well for one, there is a new rule. No liquids except my coffee, which is out of your reach, in this room. Secondly your sessions will be earlier from now on. Then you won’t have to worry about my lunch anymore.” Emma sat down opposite of him and unpacked her salad from the cafeteria. It looked fine. Nothing special. The blonde man started to unpack the little white plastic bag. A box of salad, a box of rice, a box of sauce, two drinks, an enormous amount of food.

“I bought us Thai food.” Grinning he looked at her salad which seemed to shrink next to the smell of fresh prepared food. 

“Why? Why would you buy Thai food?” Confused her eyes wandered back and forth between her salad and the wonderful colourful Thai food.

“I made a list of things I need to catch up on. Actually it’s becoming a small book. It’s one long list.” He laughed and took a small tattered book out of his back pocket. His fingers brushed hers as he handed it to her. A warm blush crept into her cheeks and she looked at the neat writing. “Well Thai food is something you can cross of now.” Her eyes scanned the pages and an idea grew in her mind. Maybe she could make him talk through this.

“If I help you with this, will you then speak to me? No running away, no destroying my notes and no tricks.”  Her eyes focused on his. Were they always so sparkling blue? He’s probably up to something again. Or maybe he had planned for her to say this. Whatever it is, I am turning the table now. Her mind wrapped around in an endless circle of winning this inevitable game against Steve.

“Fine, I will answer your questions and you take care of my list.” Grinning he handed her a pen and she marked “Thai food – done “. This can’t be too difficult can it?  
Grabbing some of the food she looked at him expectantly.  
“Right, first things first. We will stay with Barnes for a while and then move on to other people of your past, other stages. Have you met new people here yet?” It just looked too delicious. He must have gone all out. Chewing on her rice, she sorted her notes and waited for his reply. A soft sigh escaped his lips and he paused to answer. His mind was very clear, but the emotional connection was very deep.

“No, not really. I know the people I work with. Agent Hill, Director Fury. The Avengers, but they are also very occupied.” He took his own food and started eating. The blonde looked very sad for a moment until his eyes met Emma’s again and he smiled.

“Right. So first of all we need to add something to your list.” She opened the booklet where he had stopped and wrote a new thing underneath _make a friend._

“Why is that the case? I am sure, that you are not a complicated or shy person. What do you do in your free time?” Handing him his book for him to take a look, his fingers brushed the back of her hand. His fingertips created a tingling sensation that went straight through her. When had she become so needy? His brow creased when he looked at her writing and then at her.

“I don’t really have time for friends. Missions and being a ‘Superhero’.. It’s exhausting for a friendship or any relationship really. I go running every morning and boxing in the evening. I don’t train with others.” He folded his hands in his lap and then reached for the box of food again. Unsure of what to do. Uncomfortable.

She sighed and entered his mind as she continued eating. There must be something or someone she could find in Steve’s mind.

_Beep-beep, beep-beep._

_4:30 in the morning._

_Steve gets out of bed and runs a hand through his hair. A closed routine every morning. He dresses and drinks a large glass of water. Tying his spotless clean trainers, getting up and going out for a run in the park. Every morning. Always the same time. It keeps and gives him a clear head._

_There he is. Running a bit faster he runs past another man. “On your left!” Leaving his lips, with not a hint of teasing in it. He keeps the pace and continues round the park. A few minutes later he sees the man again. “On your left.”_

_Every morning. Grinning at the man’s confusion and frustration. Every morning just “on your left”. He’s probably a nice guy. He never stopped him to ask why he ran so much faster. Never asked if he was Captain America or some other hero, as they seemed to pop up everywhere now. So when he saw the man sitting at a tree he just stopped where he was and took of back to his apartment. He measured himself at the other man. While the other took his time running around the park, Steve always ran more laps._

“What about that man that you run with in the morning?” she asked between bites and put down the bowl. Taking out her notebook she wrote it down and that she would have to find out who this other man is.

“I run alone.” Leaning back, he looked at her strangely. He knew who she was talking about, but could not figure out how she knew.

“Shield does know a lot about you. It’s in your file. When you run, the course and also, that there is another person running at that time. So what about him.” Well, a little bit of lying never hurt anyone. He was not ready to know yet and Emma was not yet ready to give up her information source. If he knew, he would probably cut her off, or at least ask her to stop and she would. Emma didn’t like to intrude on others privacy if they asked her not to. To be honest she would be really glad to turn it off at times, but keeping it under control took up so much energy that she just couldn’t do it.

“He’s just some stranger that does not always ask infuriating questions. I’m tired of it. People asking why I run faster than them, why I break a boxing sack if I hit hard enough. I like my life private. He doesn’t ask questions. It’s why I run in the morning.” Sighing he ran his hand through his hair. Another one in desperate need of a haircut or at least a trim. He is cute enough as it is. Again the tingling spread through her body and settles in her stomach.

“Well you should speak to him sometime instead of running away, when he settles down. I am sure you’ll make a good friend. It’ll be a thing from your list and something to help you settle more. Being friends does not mean that you are around each other all the time. It means making time when you have none and unwinding when everything seems to be a bit much.” She really hoped he listens.

 “Fine, I’ll speak to him. If I have the time. But you are on to something. What is it?”

“Well, you told me, that you and James spent very much time with each other. It makes sense that you feel an obligation towards a person then, you feel a need to spend just as much time on the person. In a way Bucky and you were constantly in each other’s feet, constantly spending time and thus constantly sharing each problem. That’s a very deep friendship but it can also take a toll on one. If there are things that annoy you or you disagree on, you are able to push it aside if you see each other maybe only a few hours or a few days, but if you see the other everyday.. it’s just too much. What you need now at the moment is someone you can spend your free time with, which is very limited. A place to not think about Shield and saving the world. You are not just Captain America, more importantly you are Steve Rogers. Your own man. It’s not always just about work.” Her voice became softer and softer, she felt sorry in a way. He looked lonely and she knew how he felt. She was lonely. Even more now that she knew no one was waiting at home for her. You did not have to be an over ninety year old frozen and defrosted superhero to know how it felt.

“I know, Emma. I’ll try to make a new friend.” His voice was soft, understanding. He knew, he did not ask. He didn’t need to. A sad smile spread on her lips, while her eyes searched the room for something to make her feel better, but there was nothing. This was not her home. It was the place she had chosen over her boyfriend. A boyfriend she had driven away, but she didn’t feel have as bad as she thought she would. Maybe she wasn’t cut out for relationships. Well however it is, it had to wait until after Steve’s therapy.

“I know you will.” He wiped at his mouth and looked at her. Those blue eyes. She had always wondered what Scott’s eyes looked like. With his visor and sunglasses she never found out. They had tried together, he had timidly opened his eyes and she concentrated all her strength on keeping his force inside, but they had failed. Even with turning herself completely into biological diamond she had suffered small burns. They never spoke about it again. Steve’s eyes were blue. Not any blue. The kind of blue when you look at the ocean. Sometimes it is clear and you can see any high sandbank and sometimes it is stormy and dark. There are no other specs of colour in his eyes. Just clear blue.

“Your time is up. You may leave.” Standing up from her chair, she walked towards her desk to file her notes and write her report. “Tomorrow we’ll see each other around eleven o’clock. I’ll write to Fury, if it is inconvenient.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be there.” She could feel his eyes on her form. Why didn’t he just leave? Sighing she looked up and saw him smile sadly. Yet his thoughts reached her before she could ask if there was anything else he wished to talk about. He had seen her run from the park. He had seen her cry and beg. He was worried.  
Looking up she smiled at him. There was no need to deny it. He knew exactly, that she was unhappy. Her smile was sad, but honest. A reassurance. It was her job to look after him and not the other way round.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Steve.”

“Eleven. See you”, he replied and strode out of the room. He was making her uncomfortable.

She sighed and put her pen down. Now her patient was worried that she needed help herself. Great.

_Steve Rogers agreed to answer all questions asked in return for helping him catch up from his time and get used to things. He seems uncomfortable in answering questions without a personal level._  
I advised him to gain more friends. Yet I believe we also should be prepared for people disregarding Steve’s kindness and helpfulness. A short regard into his mind gave me the right person for the job.  
I hope that then he will be more open and less tense around Barnes. My theory is that Barnes used to coddle Steve until the war broke out. Then he became the hero and did not really know how to take care of someone. As James has fallen apart it would be Steve’s job, within their close friendship, to pick up the pieces. That will be the main problem with Steve, if it came to a meeting.

_With kind regards,_

_Emma Frost._

Preparation for Barnes was simple. Blinds down to rid of some of the light, cushions off of the sofa, carpet rolled up in a corner and furniture moved away except the small coffee table in the middle of the room. As she waited she reread her files about Barnes and noted down where to start. He had to trust her to a certain point.

When he and Carter arrived, he looked around confused.

“Sit down.” Emma looked at him and pointed at the floor in front of the table. Although he scared her, she had to be the stronger person. The wooden floor was cold beneath her and uncomfortable. Yet if she wanted him to get comfortable then there was no other way. The brunette did as he was told and sat down. His eyes shadowed by a curtain of hair.

“Do you like it better this way? Cold?” Her eyes were trained on the unmoving lips, but his consciousness radiated confusion. Pictures of his room entered her mind and pictures of other cells he had been in. Cold stone floors. Mouldy wallpapers, locked steel doors, an operating table the only device in the room. He did not like the room this way.

“If you speak to me. I’ll turn up the heating. I don’t want you to be cold. But you must tell me if you are actually cold in here, or in your room. Do you like the room?”

  1.   Although Carter was trained not to show any emotional signs, Emma could feel the annoyance radiating off her.



“Not cold.” Surprised Carter’s eyes moved towards Barnes. He never spoke to the therapists he saw.

“Thank you. Carter come here. Sit with us, please. I think that Mr. Barnes would be more comfortable in speaking with you.” Emma did not look up, but she could hear the hesitant footsteps come nearer and then her sitting down. Emma handed Carter her clip board and sat back to make herself more comfortable.

“What I gave Carter is a personal evaluation. She asks you the questions off the sheet and you answer them as far as you can. Shield already has a file on you. I’ll make my own. I don’t want you to feel as if everyone already knows your story, because they don’t. Please start” she spoke carefully to read his reaction, but he was trained not to show any reactions. Sighing she got up to boil some water for tea.

“Your name?”

After a long pause and a passing of glances, he answered.

“James Buchanan Barnes.” His voice was rough from little usage. Well that was going to change from now on.

“How old are you?” The pen scratched away as she noted down what he said. She did not look at him, but his eyes rested on her turned away face. Just as expected. He watches her in from his room, and now he is also allowed to look.

“I don’t know.” The strain in his voice did not sound healthy. So Emma took a glass and filled it with water and placed it on the table between the two. He eyed the water warily.

“I won’t poison you. It would not be helpful. The dead don’t speak.” She prepared the tea and placed the pot and some cups on the table. When his hand reached out he took the glass carefully and took a sip. After nothing happened he drank it down greedily and set it back down.

“Gender?”

“Male.”

“Address?”

“None.”

“Place of birth?”

“Brooklyn.”

“Former profession?” There was a pause. He had to think about it. Think about his past. Emma saw his shoulders tense and feared he would lash out again. Waiting for a reaction they sat and watched. His mind was a mess, but he was searching. Searching for his past until the face of Steve appeared.

 

_The disappointment etched deep into his frown. Steve was so small but also so nagging. Of course he wanted to fight. His father had fought in the war and died in it and small, weak, sickly Steve would also not survive in this war. The army wanted soldiers. They wanted Bucky._

_He looked down at himself. Neatly creased pants and shiny black shoes. His uniform was measured to fit, measured for him to die. He didn’t want that for Steve. His hands trembled and nervously kneaded his cap in his hand._

_“You can’t just leave me here! What am I supposed to do? Pick up rubble like the women who stay behind? I want to be out there fighting. I want to be there when the war ends. I want to help.”_

_“Steve, you can’t. You’ll get sick before the plane leaves the ground. There are important things here to be done. You’ll find something. Just stop trying. One day they’ll find out and imprison you for lying to the military or worse, they’ll actually take you.” He sighed heavily. His friend was obnoxiously stubborn and proud of it. Steve would never survive it out there.  He also won’t have to if Bucky has anything to do with it._

_“I leave tomorrow, Steve. Do you honestly want to go on fighting? Come on there’s a show on: ‘World Exposition of Tomorrow’. Let’s get going. I got us some dames to enjoy a dance with as well. You’ll like yours, she’s an art student.”_

“Soldier.”

  
Emma looked at the man sitting on the cold floor in front of her. He had handled the memory rather well. No lashing out at her or Miranda. Just a withdrawal to himself. His form stayed tense, as if Steve would jump out of his memory. How did his mind connect Steve with danger and why did he not react to it now? She got up from the floor. “I want you to fill out the rest yourself and then give it to Agent Carter. She will give it back to me then. Also I want you to think about your past. What you looked like, what you look like now and what you are comfortable with and what not. The room downstairs is small but temporary. If you can stabilize then you will able to have a small flat outside the Shield building. Get yourself cleaned Barnes. You may go.”

 

Ending the therapy early was essentially wrong as it was her job to get as much information as she could, but Barnes was a special case. Baby steps were necessary.   He had reacted well to a memory of Steve and now it was Emma’s turn to find out why. As both got up from the floor, Emma could see the difference very clearly. James was used to sitting on the floor, there was no stretching sore muscles, Carter was not used to it.

 

When they had both left the office she decided to continue directly with what she had found out about Bucky. Maybe a chart would be good. So Bucky reacted to Steve the day before but not now. What was the difference? Was there a difference? Thinking back she saw Steve’s handsome face grinning at Bucky big blue twinkling eyes. His skin healthy and jaw strong. Strong. Healthy. James had thought about the sickly Steve. The Steve before the serum. The serum was not something which was reversible. It conflicted him to two sides of a man. The pre-serum as his friend and the ‘Captain America’ as his enemy. But why? The same people that jumbled his mind probably also inflicted this connection. So from now on she had to concentrate on fixing what came before the serum until she knew how to fix the false connection. Strong Steve and weak Steve are two different people in his mind. His friend and the man who stole his friend’s face.

 

After hours of working around the chart and connecting the dots between things James’ mind told her and the things Steve told her, she left Shield headquarters for home. Stepping out she could see the now familiar shadow looming over the motorbike, which was still parked in the wrong slot.

“Shall I give you a ride home, doctor? It’s quite a long walk.” his voice sounded less worried than earlier and the usual teasing came out again.

 

“How do you know where I live?” She stopped and looked at him.

 

“Shield does know a lot about you. It’s in your file. Where you walk, where you live..” Laughing she shook her head. Of course he would repeat her. “Actually, I know because you have the room next to mine. I recognized your voice when you were singing the other night. I tried calling you, but you didn’t answer the phone.”

 

Horrified she looked at the man in front of her. Her patient. Her neighbour. Oh this was so embarrassing, but his smile was so kind and big, that she couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

 

“Fine, you can take me home.” Surprised he made room for her on the motorbike and handed her a helmet. As if he ever wore one. What a cheat. A charming cheat. Emma took the helmet and squeezed her messy blonde hair under it as she put it on. When she sat behind him, she scooted closer to take a hold of him. Fear of motorbikes was not something she knew. Scott had had one and often had taken her for a ride, but this one was even better. Grinning she leaned in closer and whispered into his ear “let’s go, soldier.” She laughed as the engine roared to life and they sped down towards the Shield quarters.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma had been late again in the morning. To be fair she had ignored her personal second alarm clock. Steve had nearly banged her door down without her answering. In the end he had convinced her to get up with the threat of calling a specialist team to get her out of bed. Emma had wandered about the flat, while Steve searched for breakfast.   
The content of her fridge had seen better times and was disregarded. In mutual agreement they bought breakfast and took it up to her office.   
“So how was the run this morning?” she asked as she boiled some water for an additional pot of tea.  
“It was fine, his name is Sam Wilson. He has a kind of therapy for people that left the army.” Steve sat down in her chair and sighed. “I got interrupted after that. I won’t be there tomorrow. It’s why I came to wake you.”   
She studied the man for a while. He looked nervous and distressed. When she handed him his roll and muffin, he took it but seemed not to be really bothered about it. You could easily get used to Steve, he was the kind of man you want to be friends with. As she took out her notebook she thought about her plan. Missions were necessary and she would not be informed about what he is doing. Fear for the blonde bubbled in her stomach.   
“How long will you be gone?”   
“I don’t know, a few days maybe.”   
Not knowing is the worst kind of feeling. She was not supposed to care as much as she did, but it is difficult not to care, when you are supposed to care about your patient’s wellbeing to a certain extend. It was confusing and very much distracting. Sighing she bit out if her bagel, chewed and tried to decide what to do.  
“I have news as well. James is conflicted. He reacts to you now, but not to the old you. His mind has the old you firmly chained down as a friend. The new you is the problem. For him it is as if there are two Steves The skinny one and you, the man who is not his friend. For him you are just a face. We need to work around that.” Her idea was simple but she was not sure if Steve would agree to it. The memories of his past seemed to be painful.   
“Well, we can’t change me back, we don’t know how”, his voice was strained and sounded even more thrown back now. Sad and quiet. Of course he wanted to stay strong and healthy, but he also wanted to help his friend. Emma knew they could have a chance at this, all he needed to do was agree.   
“If we find a good technician, we could maybe create a hologram of your past self. Then you can speak to Bucky normally without him reacting violently. You may be able to explain to him, that you are no threat. I don’t think I am capable of doing that for him. I can help him understand his past, how to deal with what happened, and I can try to integrate him into society again, but it takes time. A lot of time. If you agree to this, then we can find someone who will help us and create the hologram while you are on your mission.” His face was hard to read. A look of defeat flashed in his eyes before he smiled at her again. He must trust her enough for her to do hat had to be done for Bucky.   
“Do it.”   
Nodding she took the paper bags in which their breakfast had been and threw them into the bin. She had to move. Sitting opposite of Steve had the effect of constantly staring at his handsome face. There must be a way around it. Something to occupy with. Sighing she noted down to find someone who was good at engineering, who might be able to create the hologram.   
“Ask for Stark, Emma. He will know how to do it. I am sure of it. If you tell him I told you to ask him he will be fine with it. I am sure.” He stood and walked towards the door. “Give me something to look forward to for when I am back.” Grinning he walked towards her, caging her between the desk and himself. She could feel his broad chest pushing against her and squirmed to gain a bit of space. Breathing was starting to become quite difficult with her breasts mashed against him. Personal space comes to the list of things to teach Steve. As if a fire spread through her body, she tried to jerk away from him, but when her hands connected with his chest and she could feel the muscles working under the thin shirt she really tried not to rip it off his body.   
“I’ll find something from your list for us to do. Now shoo.” Lightly hitting his chest, she moved away from him ignoring her want to stay in the position. He had to leave for his mission. It was important. More important than her forbidden phantasies. He was her patient. This was not an option. Swallowing hard she tried not to show how much the closeness had in fact affected her. “Just come back in one piece and I’ll do you a favour.” She sat at her office chair and tried to think of something to distract her.   
“Good, I’ll see you in a few days, doctor.” He winked at her and disappeared through the door. What was wrong with that man? She would need to show him and episode of supernatural to explain that personal space was more than welcome. Glad that he was gone, she looked around as if someone had seen the inappropriate contact. Emma could not afford to lose her job again. Steve was making that very difficult for her. She could feel her panties clinging uncomfortably to her, but she didn’t dare do something about it at the office. Why did her body think, that it was okay to react that way to her patient, because it was not okay. Really not okay. It didn’t matter that he was cute and handsome and had those blue eyes. This was really going too far. Squirming on her chair she decided to call Stark directly and to continue with her work.   
As she picked up the telephone Emma felt dread settle in her stomach. Steve did not actually want this, he only wanted to help Bucky, which is also honourable, but why did it feel so wrong? The tooting of the free line did nothing to help her calm down.   
“Stark Industries, Pepper Potts speaking.” Of course he had a secretary. Why did everyone except her have a secretary? Emma needed coffee. Now, if possible.  
“Hello, my name is Emma Frost. I have a job for Mr. Stark.”   
“Well, Mr. Stark is just out. I’ll make you an appointment for four o’clock. Goodbye.”   
Well that was fast. Emma did not even get to say goodbye before the line was hung up on her. Maybe asking Stark was not such a good idea after all. She should have asked at the academy. There were brilliant scientists there waiting for a chance. Well it was too late now. Probably if she mentioned that Steve sent her it would be fine. Oh dear, she had not asked Fury for permission. Sighing she sunk back down in her chair. The day had been so horrible so far. She had felt far too comfortable with Steve in her personal space.   
Steve Rogers has consented to the making of a hologram of his old self. We hope to reach out to Barnes that way. Barnes does not see the “old” Steve as a threat. In addition to this Steven has requested for me to work with Tony Stark to create the hologram. We don’t know if this ill work, but we are certain that Barnes will react positive towards it.  
As Steve is now on a mission we have a few days to begin working. I have already made an appointment with Mr. Stark for today four o’clock.   
With kind regards   
E. Frost

Sighing she pushed her office chair away from her desk and rolled the carpet up again. The sofa to the end of the room and her nice comfortable leather chair. If James wanted to sit on the couch he would have to push it back himself. Miranda had brought the filled in form back the night before. There was hardly anything not crossed out. So he either really did not know or he did not want her to know, but she would know eventually.   
First the session with James and then the appointment with Stark. This was going to be a long day.   
When James and Agent Carter entered her office they started the usual procedure. James frowned at everything in the room and sat down on the floor and Agent Carter stayed at the door.   
“You don’t need to sit on the floor. If you want to be comfortable then move the sofa back.” Emma stayed at her desk sorting through her papers. Somehow her notebook was missing. She was sure she had put it on her desk before Steve invaded her space. A few seconds later she heard footsteps moving about. When she raised her head she saw James moving the carpet back into its original place and then move the furniture. A comforting calmness washed over her and she realized that Barnes was emitting the feeling.   
“I’ll be there in a second. Would you like a tea?” He nodded and she got up from her chair to make a small pot of tea. As he knew where she kept everything he picked two cups and placed them on the small coffee table. His trust seemed to widen, he may not like her but she was no threat in his eyes.   
“Take a pen and a bit of paper. I would like you to write down all the positive and negative qualities of Steve. Everything you can remember and then we will talk them through.” The boiling water did not drown out the sound of a pen scratching over paper. Surprised at his cooperation she put the pot down on the table to let the tea steep. Where did this active help come from? What had made him trusting?  
The piece of paper slid across the table against her fingers.   
Positive:   
\- Honest  
\- Helpful  
\- Kind  
\- Loyal  
\- Ambitious  
\- Patient  
\- Affectionate  
\- Courageous  
\- Reliable   
Negative:  
\- Stubborn  
\- Helpful  
\- Pessimistic  
\- Adventurous  
\- Persuasive  
\- Sly  
Well, the list was long enough. A lot to work with actually.  
“Right, so I will name a character trait and you tell me why you wrote it down.” Emma made herself comfortable in her armchair and looked at him.   
“Ambitious.”  
“Steve always wanted to work, although he was sick, but he also was eager to be better than what people expect from a sickly guy. Drawing was Steve’s thing and he studied things as long as it had to be for it to look realistic. Prove them wrong. It was important for him.”   
“Honest.”  
He paused.   
“He used to tell me everything. What a shitty friend I was to keep setting him up with girls, which were either not interested or expected something else. Or that it was wrong of me to go to the army. He just said it even if it was uncomfortable with him. Lying to someone to spare them was not really his style.” He sighed and scratched at his jeans. Uncomfortable subject it seemed.  
“You wrote helpful down as positive and negative, care to explain this?” Her voice stayed soft and she tried not to influence James with her vision of Steve.   
“He was just stupid. Who starts a fight with people that are two heads taller and a lot more strength? Who does that? He used to help old ladies over the road, carry their shopping, and help kids that are being bullied. He just always seemed to be the one that got beaten up in the end or would have an asthmatic attack.” Sighing he shook his head. He cared a lot. His voice could not hide it.   
“Did he appreciate the care? What do you think?”   
“I don’t know. He often seemed annoyed about it, but he also never thought badly of anyone. He cared so much about other people, and so little about himself. So I started doing it for him. I think he was embarrassed to often need help, but he also knew that he needed help. It’s not simple.”  
“Friendship is never simple.” The face in front of her was not the one she had seen in Steve’s mind. Worry laced his face. In Steve’s mind he smiled a lot, it seemed carefree. Shaggy strands of brown hair fell in front of his face and blocked the view to those stormy grey eyes. That would need to go.   
“How would you feel about an appointment at the haircutters? You need a decent haircut and a shave. I will speak to Fury about that. I think we could have someone come in to make you look clean until we can let you outside. I don’t think you’re ready. You speak to me now, but I can see that it’s an act to get outside and run. Steve would be really upset if you went missing again and I am worried that you would harm yourself trying to figure this out by yourself. So I’ll call someone for tomorrow and the day after that I’ll take you down to the fitness centre. I think you will enjoy a little bit of movement. Also we can have someone look at your arm in case you have problems with it.”   
His figure slumped a bit, but then he caught himself and sat up straight again. Of course she had denied him a way outside. Tensely he nodded at her words and stood up to leave the room. Emma could feel the frustration waving off of him towards her, frustration and defeat. Barnes was not going to fight this. That’s new. Interesting.   
“Agent Carter, please escort him down and if you have the time order some sports clothes for him. If you can’t find the time inform me please.” With a curt nod Carter followed Barnes out of the door. Carter did not seem to be a very talkative person either. Maybe she should have therapy, she seemed to be a very disturbed young woman, but on the other hand everyone seems disturbed, when you’re a psychiatrist.   
A glance at the watch informed her that she had enough time to gather her notes on Steve and to grab lunch on the way to Stark’s ugly building. Although she was knew to New York she knew where the Stark Tower was. She looked at it every morning, when she looked out of her kitchen. It ruined her morning. Quickly she copied the only picture she had of Steve before the serum. He looked so strained and small, but still like the Steve she got to know. Maybe she would not have been as quickly attracted to him, but the serum couldn’t have changed his character, or could it? This particular trail of thought felt so uncomfortable, that she quickly stashed the picture away again. What was he doing thinking about him like that anyway? She loved Scott. Scott just broke up with her. It didn’t sting as much as she thought, but that still gave her no right to dream about her patient. There was something seriously wrong with her.   
Emma stuffed her folder into her handbag and left her office. On the way down she could see many agents bustling about. She didn’t know half of what Shield was about, but she cared for her patients. Of course she could search their minds, but why should she? She had no reason for looking for more information than she already became in the passing. Sometimes it made her very uncomfortable, especially if people directly thought about her or were thinking about very personal things. She had no interest in other people’s love live.   
When she got out of the building there was no wrongly parked motorbike and no Steve. Sighing she walked down towards the city centre. A short stroll around the shops to get her lunch would get her mind off of Steve and Scott. There was a small shop on a corner selling used books, so she went in and had a look. There were so many books she still wanted to read. The feeling of old books under her fingertips and the smell of stored paper gave her a warm feeling as she browsed through the aisles. Suddenly she saw something that she thought would be perfect for Bucky and what he might enjoy. When she slid the book from the shelf and looked through it, she felt the books pages were soft from use but also lose because of the old glue. After she had double checked, that the book was in order and there were no pages missing she decided to buy it for him. He might want something to occupy him except of training and it would teach him to be careful otherwise he would have nothing to do again.   
In another back corner there were old records, but which also seemed to be in good order. Her old record player was still at the Xavier Academy, but she might be able to convince someone to send it to her. If they did, she could show Steve some new old tracks. He had “the Beatles” on his list. A little bit of digging and she found one of the later albums “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”. It didn’t have all the songs she liked on it, but some of her favourites. Right behind it was one album she had wanted to buy for ages but somehow never got around to actually doing it. A day at the races. Queen. Perfect.  
Taking the three items she went to the old man behind the counter and placed all three items in front of him. It was far too cheap in her mind so she gave the man an extra ten dollars. He would find a good way to use it, but she would remember this shop. She loved the antiquity of it.   
In contrast to the bookshop she had been in stood the Stark tower, which she was heading to. After she had munched her sandwich, that she picked up on the way she entered the building. Everyone seemed to be rushing and kept pushing her in directions as soon as she mentioned the word meeting. When she thought she had seen half of the building she finally found a quiet desk with a red haired woman at it.   
“How can I help you?” expectantly she stared Emma down. There was no rushing her it seemed.   
“I have an appointment with Mr. Stark”, Emma looked around nervously. It was similar to Shield. Very big windows to make it very light, but it was highly modern. Everything had an electrical flair and a forced modernism. At least the chance of Stark helping her as one of Steve’s, well, what was she really? Doctor? Friend? The lines were slowly blurring at the edges and she didn’t know what to do about it.   
“Through the door. Don’t be disappointed.” Concern wavered between them and Emma knew it was shared. The stories about Tony Stark were not the ones ou tell your grandchildren. Nodding she went through the doors and looked around the room. It looked more like a personal suite than an office. Lounging on a leather sofa and nursing a drink was the man that she had to convince to help her. Hopefully she would be able to do it.   
“Hello Mr. Stark, my name is Emma Fr-“  
“What do you want from me and how much can you pay me?”   
Emma was so taken aback, that her mouth hung open hanging on to her words. She had expected Stark to be rude, but this was insane. He did not even look at her.   
“I can’t pay you and I came to ask a favour.” There was no playing the cards right in this game. She had only one chance.   
“I don’t do favours.” Tony stood and looked at her. His eyes raked over her body and she felt even more exposed as she had, when Steve invaded her space. Swallowing her anger as good as she could and glared at him. “Steve said you would help me.”   
“Steve? Steve Rogers?” Suddenly he laughed and came closer. Why had this pierced his interest? He stood taller than her, but he seemed shorter than Steve. At least in her mind.   
“Yes, Steve Rogers. We need help in creating a hologram.” A brown eyebrow lifted and the interest vanished from his face. He actually looked quite insulted. Was there something she had said, that was wrong? Had she said his building is ugly somewhere inside his building?   
“Any half intelligent engineer can create you a hologram. You would be wasting my time. Goodbye.” With a wave of his hand he dismissed her and turned back to nurse his drink. This is what he did? Sit around, drink and frown at job offers? What was wrong with this man?   
“Not everyone can create a hologram of a person they only have one picture of. We want you to create a hologram of Steve before the serum. It is very important to him and he asked me to come here, while he is away on a mission. I only have one picture of him, which does not even show his whole body. I only know what he looks like at that time from old memories of James Barnes.” The steps halted and suddenly there was interest again. He placed his drink on a bar and he extended his hand. Placing the copy of the picture in his open palm she watched as he studied the image.  
“Are you his girlfriend?” There was not even a glance at her, but she blushed bright red anyway.   
“No. I am his therapist.” Snorting he stared at her again and at her chest. Crossing her arm she stared him down. “Will you work with me? If there is a way I offer you the image of my mind. You seem to need a challenge. Well here is one. Take it or leave it.” Please, take it. Pretty please.   
“You are quite confident. Will you tell me your secret or do I have to find out while I work?”   
“I am a mutant. I have the ability to hear minds and see them. Everything I see is stored similar to a photographic memory. My memory is completely accessible to me.” Prejudice is something you need to know to not be fazed by it, being looked at like a lab rat also belonged to that category. Humming Stark walked about his room. “Steve may not know this yet. While we work I would like for it to stay a secret.”   
He paused and then nodded shortly.   
“I’ll get straight to work. You will hear from me as soon as I have a prototype to hook you up with.”   
This time when he waved his arms about to dismiss her, it did not seem unkind. It seemed hurried. He had a task and he would give it his attention. Smiling she left the building and made her way home.  
The next day at the office passed quickly. As Steve was not there she was late, but she only needed to wade through her paperwork. So nothing special. When the receptionist informed her, that the hairdresser was there she took him down to James’ room. As always they were accompanied by Agent Carter. The hairdresser did good work. He shaved James’ face completely and but his hair short to make him look decent. It also made him very attractive. There was no doubt that he was used to girls falling over him. Agent Carter seemed to be very interested in the carpet all of a sudden. Silently laughing she ordered her to take the hairdresser back up, as he would not find the way himself. The Shield building was just too large. Miranda did not seem too happy about it but did it anyway. Emma tried to spare her from more teasing of Barnes. Of course he had noticed her glances and put on a show. Amused she sat down next to him. She was not his therapist at the moment. She was Steve’s friend. A friend with a present.   
“When I was younger I used to hole myself up in my room my sisters were very ambitious and harsh. I always thought, that they just didn’t like me. So I preferred to read fantasy novels and science fiction. It was my escape and became a habit. I read a lot now. The only present my mother had ever made me, which was really a present to me and not something they liked was this book. I lost my copy of it, but I found this in the book store and I thought you would enjoy something to occupy your time with.” His steel grey eyes roamed her face and she let him. Carefully she took the tattered old book out of her handbag and passed it to him. “I laughed myself silly, when I read it all those years ago.” Smiling she handed him the book. A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.   
For once his silence was not unnerving but comforting. He opened the book and looked at the pages. As she did not want him to feel uncomfortable she stood and left him to read. Pride settled in her chest, she had done something good and shared something from herself. Slowly caring for the two boys crept up in her heart and she hoped all the time that Steve would be alright.   
Thinking about Steve made her nervous the next few days. Of course she knew nothing of the mission. Not where they went and for what. He might get shot and she would not know until it would be too late. While she desperately did not want to think about Steve Tony kept her mind on him constantly. Sadness from her break up seemed to fade even faster now that she was so worried about Steve. Scott just seemed to be a fragment of her daily routine now. In the morning she talked to James, most of the times about the book as Steve was not there yet, but she also wanted to give him a break of her inquisition. His genuine interest brought her back to the book shop to buy the second book and the third. After the “therapy” she would take him down to the training centre and pass him to Agent Carter. He seemed happy enough chatting about the book at the moment so she didn’t push anything else. A silent treatment would be fatal now.   
When she delivered Barnes, she would usually grab lunch and stop at the bookstore on her way to the Stark tower. Tony seemed far too occupied with working on her to actually make progress with the hologram, but she let him. It was nice to spend time with people that knew Steve differently than her. Of course she had read about the battle of New York but hearing it from Tony was different. That Steve and Tony bantered was no surprise and she grinned at Tony’s memories of those times. Getting to know Steve this way was also interesting and made her anticipate his return even more. His gift was also complete, he could come home now.   
The few days had been over for seven days now. Steve had left nine days ago and there had been no sound since then. When Emma asked Fury about this he dismissed her with everything was going as planned. For a few days now Emma also woke up each night. Either because she heard a familiar voice moan a soft “Emma” or because of cold blue eyes staring back at her. Cold dead eyes of a man she hardly knew but missed so much. So when she got home a day after her and Tony had finished up the hologram and they did a test with it, she was so tired all she wanted to do was fall into her bed. Yet there was a motorbike parked in what was officially her spot, although she could not afford a car. Relief washed over her body and the small blonde ran up the stairs. There leaning against the wall next to her door was a blonde grinning man. Exhaustion vanished as soon as he noticed her and his grin grew even more.   
“Hello you.” Trying to contain her relief and happiness she breathed in deeply.   
“Hello, doctor.” Steve winked at her and a laugh bubble from her chest. Quickly she embraced his tall form, pulling him close and squeezing tightly. He was okay. It was all fine. They just stood there for a while, not speaking. His mission did not concern her and she didn’t ask. He was alright, that was all that mattered. Her head rested on his chest and he stroked her hair softly. Slowly she pulled herself away from Steve, she didn’t dare to meet his eyes.  
“You owe me a date.” A careful touch to her cheek made her look at him as he twirled a strand of hair around his finger. “It’s not a date.”   
“Are you sure?” There was no reply to this question. The both knew the answer. She unlocked the door. “Have a rest and come over at eight. I’ll make us dinner.” Emma resisted glancing back at him and stepped into her flat. When she closed the door she slid down against it. This was such a mess. A mess she had created, but a mess she also wanted. He was back. That was all that mattered. Until there was a faint knock at eight o’clock she bustled around in the kitchen and prepared dinner. Emma was not the best cook in the world, but she tried for Steve and who know what they had been fed on the mission.   
Her lasagne was bubbling away in the oven and she had made a fluffy mousse au chocolat, which resided in the fridge until it was needed. An expensive red wine from France was breathing on the coffee table. Emma did not actually know a lot about wine, but the salesman had been very kind and recommended this wine.   
“Just come in!”   
The door opened and closed and she could hear hesitant footsteps in the hall. Steve appeared in the doorway to the kitchen as she took the lasagne out of the oven and placed the hot dish on the table. “I hope you’re hungry.” She grinned at him and motioned for him to take a seat. She cut a healthy portion and put it on his plate and then repeating the same for herself, except that her portion was smaller. Apparently it tasted good, as he inhaled the lasagne. In a matter of seconds he smiled sheepishly at her and held his plate out for more. Glad that he enjoyed her meal she just motioned for him to take more. “Dig in, Steve.”   
After they devoured the lasagne completely they moved with their red wine to the living room. Emma had set up her old record player and turned on the Beatles vinyl, which she had bought for Steve.   
“It’s a popular album from the Beatles. You could listen to it on your Ipod but I thought you deserved the real feels.” She had rearranged her furniture to create a space. This evening belonged to Steve. Surprise settled on his features but he stood and took her hand into his. Their bodies connected and her arms wrapped around his neck. He was not that much taller than her, but she had to raise her head to look into his eyes. A twinkling blue met her and it created a smile for him. Warmth spread from her chest and tingled through her body. Of course she wanted Steve, there was hardly anything else se thought about, but this moment was too perfect to do anything else.   
They swayed for a while not really matching the music, but listening and revelling in the closeness of their bodies. He had been gone too long. His hands held her hips and he caressed her back. Warm hands on her body. Closing her eyes she concentrated on the feeling of his hands roaming her lower back.   
“You’re so different than the other women I met here.” A small sigh escaped his lips, his voice was so soft and calm.   
“Am I?” A small smile graced her lips and she carefully stroked his cheek.   
“Yes, so confident but not cold, strong but not unreasonable, kind and but not easy to fool. You are beautiful inside out, Emma.”   
“Honest.”  
“He used to tell me everything.”  
A strong hand lifted her chin and his lips met hers. Like lightning pleasure and love struck her chest and warmth created a fire in her. A soft moan escaped her, when he tried to deepen the kiss, which resulted in his tongue slowly asking for permission to go further. A chuckle escaped her and she drew him closer to her.   
“You have no clue what you’re doing, right?” Steve looked at her sheepishly and blushed.   
“Is it that obvious?” Oh dear, she seemed to have really embarrassed him.   
“I have a diploma in sexual psychology and well, yes, but I like it.” Taking his hand she led him back to the sofa and sat down with him. The red wine was slowly loosening their tongue in more than just one way. Thoughts about Steve being her patient escaped her mind.  
“You like it?” Doubt graced his handsome face as he stared at their entwined hands. Her hand looked so small in his.   
“Well, you seem to like me and I don’t think, that with the way you were behaving before, you will be timid very long. But if this really is your first time having sex, then I don’t want it to be like this. You deserve more than this, Steve. More than me.”   
Slowly she let her hand slip from his grasp and she moved away a few inches. Her expression pained and guilty, there was no way that she would hurt Steve this way. Of course she thought he was handsome and caring, kind and passionate, but she loved Scott. That was a certain fact. Emma had no feelings for Steve, did she? She couldn’t have. He was her patient.   
“You think too much. I want you and I am not letting this slip through my fingers. I have done that before and I lost the game. We will get to know each other as we progress with our relationship. I’m not giving this up just because you think this won’t work. Emma, please.”   
“I just got dumped, Steve. That was only two weeks ago. I don’t want to hurt you. We don’t feel the same things, do we?” He did not look half as surprised as she thought he would. Sorry, yes. Surprised, no.   
“I don’t care. We will find out along the way.” He gave her no time to disagree, directly pulling her flush against his chest. His lips attacked hers passionately and he nibbled on her bottom lip. Grinning into the kiss she responded with all the fire she had inside herself. He granted her entrance to his mouth. Teeth clashing against each other. Tongues battling for dominance. Wet and hot. Hands grabbed her waist pulling her into Steve’s lap. Emma giggled when he moaned at the pressure against his lap. Poor Steve. This would be pleasurable torment. Her hand slipped from his cheek, stroked across his chiselled chest and stopped at his pants. She could feel her body flushing with lust and her core dripping with want. Steve was all she could think about.   
A sudden thrust to her pelvis and Steve broke the kiss a loud moan falling from his lips. Steve’s blushing was too cute. The shirt was in the way. She wanted to see that chest that every woman had phantasies about. It was nearly ripped in half in her haste, but what met her underneath was worth it. Emma sunk her head down to his shoulder and bit softly at his skin. Kissing and suckling his skin until she was sure he would wear her mark for at least a few hours. Her nails raked along his pecs and his muscles, tracing the lines of the serum and his hard work. This was about his pleasure. Not her own. She would teach him how to give her pleasure. Later.   
The blonde underneath her squirmed and moaned, his hands tracing her skin. Cautiously pushing her top up, he felt his way around her stomach. Emma placed kisses down his neck and collarbone until she found his nipples, which she twisted carefully between her fingers. Sex was nothing new. She knew her way around a body. Long fingers pulled her up to meet his mouth again. He caught up to her, winning the battle and feeling his way about her mouth. Wet. Warm. Fingers digging into her hips, but not going further.   
“Emma, stop.. what are you doing to me?” he whispered, voice strained and rough. Named woman looked at him, but took his hands in hers before he could say more. She placed his hands on her breasts. “Don’t be afraid to touch me. Do what feels right to you. You can’t do anything wrong.” Softly he kneaded her breast, cupping it, feeling it. Her hand dropped down to his lap, not opening his pants, but putting pressure on his arousal. Seemingly fascinated he lifted her breast out of her bra after taking off her shirt. His gaze became hazy until he lowered his mouth to kiss her breast softly. Emma pushed her chest closer to his mouth and grabbed a fistful of his hair on which she tugged. Moans fell from her lips as he pleasured her softly.   
“I want you to feel as good as I feel.”   
Emma looked at the man in front of her. She slid her hand softly through his hair, caressing his cheek. Steve leaned into her touch, softly kissing her palm. “I do. You are doing this.” Her voice stayed soft. Palming his erection through his jeans, she tried to push him over the edge. With her other hand she took his wrist and led his hand up her skirt. The heel of is hand pressed against her mound and she assumed that her panties were soaking. Wide blue eyes looked at her with passion. He panted, moaned and writhed against her. A little more. Emma pushed herself against his chest, kissed and sucked on his neck. More pressure. Their mouths collided, dominance always a battle. Not one of them was willing to give up. Rocking against each other, a thin film of sweat settling on their skin as she sucked on his lip, nibbling softly. Suddenly she felt his fingers move along her core making her buck against him. Biting his lips, she massaged his neck until he was close enough. He was holding on, but she smiled at him and rolled her hips on his lap. Moving together and against each other until suddenly his body shook.   
Smiling she felt small tremors run through her body and she let herself fall against him. Panting her wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.   
“That was perfect” he mumbled against her shoulder and placed little kisses on her neck. Emma nodded and felt Steve run his hands through her hair. She could stay like this for ages, just lying about, cuddling with Steve.   
“It was” her eyes settled on his. A sweet kiss was placed on her nose, she could not believe the luck she had. Steve would make everything right. Together they would help James. Maybe he was right in saying they could handle it. No one at Shield would have to know, they live next to each other, going to work together was nothing unusual then and if they did not talk about it outside their flats. They would just need to wait until his therapy was over and then they could be as public as they wished, if he wanted that. He was Captain America, what if the press found out? They would have a field day. A soft sigh escaped her lips, but her smile stayed. Steve looked at her pushing a strand of her back behind her ears.   
“We can handle this.”   
“In time, yes”, her reply was cut off by a large yawn and a bright red blush crept onto Steve’s face. Cute.   
“You better go to bed, Captain. You might need to save the world tomorrow.” He raised a brow and slowly sat up with her still leaning against his body.   
“If dragging you out of bed in the morning counts as saving the world, then you’re probably right.” He pinched her side and aimed for his shirt, when a smaller body collided with him. “Yes, you save my world. I get to keep the lousy T-Shirt. Not a word to anyone about this, understood?” When he stood his tall form cowered over hers as she held the shirt in front of her bra. With a kiss to her forehead he made his way to the door, yet when he opened it, he turned around and winked again. “See you tomorrow, doctor”  
His words hung in the air as she laughed at his usual comment. Steve was unbelievable. He went from shy and blushing to confident and cocky. Only a couple of minutes after Steve had left her an ear shattering sound of an explosion shook the building. Horrified Emma ran to the door. Smoke curled up into the air from under Steve’s door. In a matter of seconds another Agent aimed her gun at the apartment. A blonde, resembling Miranda Carter. Trained for nothing but the job.   
“Steve!!” Terrified she burst the door open. Her mind clearing her the way towards him. There was the man she had just been intimate with. Covered in debris and shielding someone. Someone who was not moving. At the sound of his name, his head snapped up towards her.   
“They killed Fury.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but she had heard and finally she was close enough to see the man lying on the floor. From there on a fog clouded their minds as they called an ambulance, tried first aid and waited half the night in the hospital for any news.   
Yet the news stayed the same throughout the evening. A shot went off, Fury got hit, a bomb went off, Fury died and all of this in Steve’s apartment. In the little amount of time that had passed since Steve had left Emma’s apartment. In a matter of minutes the feeling of safety collapsed around them and they had nowhere to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the teaser, I am not really sure if I am any good at writing the sexual themes but I am open for critiques  
> Also I feel that this couple is lacking a ship name. I will happily sail away solo on this ship, haha, but I don’t think I will. Any ideas for a ship name?


	4. Chapter 4

After the explosion everything became a race against time.   
Steve had found Director Fury in his apartment shortly before the bomb went off. The director was severely hurt as he was right in the middle of the attack. Emma called the ambulance directly, while Sharon and Steve checked the building for more injured and for any signs of the attacker. When they returned he shook his head tensely at his lover. The ambulance had arrived in a matter of minutes and took Fury away to the hospital.   
“I’ll check the building again, Captain. There must be traces somewhere.” The words lingered longer than the speaker. Steve’s shoulders were tense and Emma felt his fear. Taking her keys she led him downstairs and called a taxi.   
“Calm down, Steve. You have nothing to do with the attack. We will find out what is going on. I promise.” It was a weak promise, but it reassured him that she would not desert him. After they informed the taxi driver where they were headed, he drew her in closer and held her small form against his chest. His face buried itself in her hair and she stroked his arm trying to soothe his fear.   
“I need to call Natasha, she needs to know.” His fingers fumbled about on his smartphone as he tried to calm down. The call was fast, he she hung up saying that she would meet them there, before he could explain what had happened. His huge form trembled and Emma could see the confusion of his mind.   
Steve left Emma. He had not wanted to go, but she had sent him to bed like a child. As soon as he left her apartment he could hear it. One of his records was playing. He had not left the music on. Quietly he entered his flat. Why would someone announce his entering of Steve’s apartment?   
There next to his record player sat the Director and glanced up at him.   
“I don’t recall giving you a key.”   
“Do you think I’d need one?”   
Sighing Steve went to turn on the light, when he caught sight of Fury holding his phone out towards him.   
EARS EVERYWHERE.  
A glance around as reassurance, then he took his hand off of the light switch. Patience wearing thin.   
“My wife kicked me out, I didn’t know where else to crash.”   
“I didn’t know you were married.”   
“There is a lot you don’t know about me.”   
Frustration rolled of Steve, rolling his eyes at the man. When he turned his smartphone for Steve to read the next message he paled.  
SHIELD COMPROMISED.  
What had happened? How could Shield be compromised? It probably had something to do with what Natasha was looking for on the ship.   
“Who knows about your wife?” Natasha would surely know. She always knew before him. Maybe Emma knew. Maybe they were all playing their roles in this game.  
YOU AND ME.   
Nodding he wanted to reply just as a shot rang through his ears and only seconds after a bomb exploded. Fury was falling. He had been shot. Rubble was everywhere. Debris covered Fury’s body. An unmoving body.   
A shatter rang through his ears, followed by the cry of his name.   
Emma saw herself. Her terrified self, as she worried for the man she had seen just minutes before the ambush.   
“Emma?” Dazed she raised her head to look at the soldier.   
“We’re there.” She swallowed and raised herself of his chest. He ran off to the reception, while she paid the taxi driver. As soon as she caught up to him they marched up to a long hallway, where a small redhead was already waiting for them in front of a glass window. They were trying to help him. The body lying motionless on the table. Wide eyed Steve stared at the procedure.  
“Why was he in your flat? What happened?” Glaring Natasha’s eyes left the window to look at Steve. His tall form hunched down in guilt. They hurt. Both of them. Sighing Emma steered him towards the plastic chairs and made him sit down, as she crouched in front of him running her hand slowly up and down his arm. “Sh.. It’s okay. Nobody blames you.”   
“He wanted to speak to me in private. I’m sorry, I didn’t see anyone. I couldn’t save him.” Trembling he took hold of Emma’s hands. Blue eyes meeting hers, full of worry, guilt and sadness.   
While they waited they were joined by Maria Hill and many Shield agents offering to patrol the building and the hallways. They stayed as the doctors worked. Emma tried her best to sooth Steve, but the hurt lingered. There was no turning back now. There was nothing they could do except watch this man fight for his own life. A beeping noise announced what they all feared. Closing her eyes she felt the presence of the man slip from her. The minds surrounding her were a mess, but there was something she could not miss. Something she would not be able to explain. The presence slipped, but stayed. A fraction of what it should be, but it lingered.   
Wanting to give Natasha and Maria some time to say goodbye the pair waited outside. Worriedly she leaned in close.  
“You can’t trust anyone with the information Fury gave you.” She whispered and placed small kisses on his cheek. They were mostly being ignored, but one never knows.  
“I don’t know what you mean.” A defensiveness crept into his eyes.   
“Steve, you have to trust me. I will explain everything, when we are away from all of the people, but what you know. It is important and no one must know yet. We can’t prove anything.” Tension returned to his body and she could see the trust leaving his body. She felt pain at this, but knew that it was important for him to know about her little wander through his mind. Shushing him she took his face into her hands and placed a kiss on his lips. “I am a telepath. Fury asked me to be your therapist because you can’t lie to a telepath. I will never betray you, I promise. I can’t give you more at the moment.”   
A sharp nod signalising his agreement, gave her a second relief. Then he pushed her off of him and he made his way to Natasha and Maria. They had all known Fury far longer than she had. She had only seen the man twice in person. The walls of the building were cold, but the hallways were full of people. Shield agents everywhere, nurses, doctors, patients. A giant commotion for the safety of one man. A now dead man.   
When Steve returned with Natasha he laid his arm around Emma and took her hand. He was not looking at her, but worriedly at Natasha who paced up and down the hallway. She could feel him pushing an object into her palm and closing it tightly around hers.   
Look after it. Find out what is on it.  
Sighing she rested her head against his shoulder. Letting her hand fall back against her leg again and disappearing in her jeans. They would need allies, this was not something Steve would be able to do on his own. But how do you convince a man who grew up in war of trust? She would not know what she is looking for in the other’s mind. There had to be a way. Closing her eyes, she searched Natasha’s mind. He trusted her enough to call her to the hospital before it escalated. Matching flashes of the object, which was now in her pocket crossed both Steve and Natasha’s mind. They would need to chance it.  
Moving Steve towards the chairs again she made him sit and motioned for Natasha to sit on her other side. “Try to trust me, both of you.” With the words spoken, Emma took both their wrists and transferred the images from both their minds towards each other. Natasha seeing what had happened with Fury and Steve seeing what had happened after the ship.   
We need to be allies. Trust is all we have now. We need a plan and I think I have one. It’s not the safest, but it might work.   
Glancing at the Avengers next to her, she realized she had their attention and could go on. Steve gave his agreement in a nod and they worked out a quick plan for their own safety and Shield’s safety.

_________  
“Come on, Steve, we will be late. Visiting hours are really sharp and they only agreed to let you see her outside of visiting hours, because you’re Captain America.” Emma said as she herded him though the city traffic. They left the hospital after speaking with Maria Hill, with Emma insisting on keeping Steve’s therapy up. Especially now, after Fury’s death, Steve would be emotionally vulnerable. Well, now he would be even more vulnerable, because she was going to open a deep wound in his mind and he had no idea. Sighing she dragged him over the pedestrian crossing and towards a large building with an even larger garden.   
They went up the stairs and through the long corridor. Steve was following her uncertain of the situation. He really did not expect her to take him to a care home. She greeted the people working here friendly, but stopped in front of a closed door. Room 212.   
“Emma, would you care to explain now?” frustrated he stared at the closed door. Shield was being infiltrated, Fury was dead and Emma has nothing better to do but play mind games. Sometimes the small blonde really had no clue how to work things, but she just smiled at him and opened the door.   
“Trust me, this is still about your therapy. Spend some time with her. Talk to her. I’ll wait outside, Steve.” She looked at her watch, not looking at him for a while. “You have an hour.” Saying this she left him standing there confused. He watched her retreat noting how small she suddenly seemed. Holding herself as she walked out.   
When he entered the room, he noted directly the still form on the bed. The curtains had not been drawn yet, so that the light was not as bright yet. A frail hand reached out for the small light on the chest next to the bed. Doe eyes met his, as tears of regret settled in his blues. This was not something he had wanted to confront.   
“Steve?” the voice sounded so quiet, so teary and sad, yet so old. This was the woman he had left behind, regretting it ever since he woke up. Without him noticing his long legs dragged him towards the bed and he sat down on a small chair.  
“Hello Peggy” A sob and smile escaped her as she held her hand out for him to hold. Hesitantly he took it, squeezing it softly in his larger one. Of course she still was beautiful, but he could see the family pictures on her nightstand. He had always wanted for her to have a fulfilled life, even if he was no part of it.   
“I thought you were dead” Sadness seeped into his mind. He had not gone to see her when he woke up, had not wanted to interrupt her family by just showing up, but Peggy was more than just his love interest. She was his best friend except from Bucky and he had not bothered to go see her. Dread filled his mind as he held on to her hand.   
“They found me, Peggy” Confusion and content settled on her face, as she cuddled back into her pillow. Soft white hair lying like a halo around her head. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could think of which would be enough. She seemed comfortable enough as they settled into silence, holding on to each other, knowing the other was alright. His eyes found the pictures again after a while. She looked so happy with children on her lap, or holding her husband’s hand.   
“You lived a full life, Peggy” and he had not been a part of it, only for a short moment.  
“Mhm, yes, I have lived a life. My only regret is that you did not get to live yours” She glanced at her pictures and then back at the man she once knew. “What is it?” She could still read him, as if he never left.   
“For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what is right. Guess, I’m not quite sure what that is anymore.” He paused, glanced at her tiredly and frowned. “And I thought I could throw myself back in, follow orders, serve.” A soft sigh escaped him, then he grinned sadly at her. “It’s just not the same.”   
A soft giggle sounded from the bed and bright eyes smiled at him. “You are always so dramatic”, she laughed at him. He couldn’t think of a more beautiful sound at the moment. It was infectious and a small grin escaped from his worry.   
“You saved the world. We rather mucked it up.” Her voice was soft, but she knew what to say when he was in doubt, she always knew then and she knew now.  
“You didn’t. Knowing that you founded Shield is half the reason I stayed.”   
“Come here” she pulled his hand softly closer, holding him as good as she could. Her hands were so soft against his, but also weak and frail. He took special care, not to squeeze her too tightly as he held on to what he knew.  
“The world has changed, and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and the best we can do, is to start over” a harsh cough tore through her body and she turned away. Quickly Steve got up to get some water for her, she was probably thirsty as he woke her up. Yet when she settled again and her eyes landed on his they unfocused and went wide. Teary eyes looked at him and a new sob escaped her.  
“You’re alive, you came back” A sad smile graced his lips, but he stayed strong for her, whispering encouragements to her. He calmed her down considerably, but was then asked to leave by the nurse, as it was time for her to get dressed.  
When he left the building his eyes searched for white blonde hair. It was hard to overlook, but she had curled up on a park bench, while she waited. Her form seemingly even smaller now, then when she had left him there. He wanted to be mad at her for taking him here without saying anything first, but he could not be mad at her, when she tried to keep him safe, when she tried to care about him. He sat down next to her and stared ahead.   
“You could have told me”   
Tiredly she looked up at him and a soft sigh left her lips.   
“You would have tried to stop me, or prepare yourself. Yet you could have stopped, when we entered the care home and you didn’t. It was just the small push you needed. I didn’t make you go in there, Steve.”   
She let him walk into the room, she wanted him to see his first love. It was something that still resided in his mind, but it was a worry she could rid him from. He would not have to ask himself how she is anymore, or if she had everything she could have ever possibly wanted. He knew now. It was a weight lifted of his shoulder, of which he did not know, that it was there. He put his arms around her and pulled her against his chest.   
For a long moment they just sat there comforted by each other and the embrace they shared, but those moments are never long enough. Emma had to be at Shield for James’ therapy and he would need to report to Pierce. Together they made their way back through the city towards the Shield glasshouse. A tense smile greeted them at the building as they were let in. Everyone seemed wary of Steve, as they marched up to Emma’s office, where Miranda was already waiting with Tony Stark and James. There seemed to be a glaring contest, as one seemed to have a foul mood even worse than the next. Miranda looked happily enough with her usual scowl in place.   
“There you are, had a nice walk?” Tony’s voice sounded teasing, but she could see he was strained and worried. A sharp nod from Steve cut off any further inquisitions.   
“We have work to do. Come on.” Emma motioned for James to sit down on her chair, while Steve stayed outside. He was supposed to meet Natasha in a different room for the audio overlay of the hologram. Bucky seemed to be restraining himself with much difficulty, but he did not attack.   
“I’ll see you later, Emma.” Worriedly he searched her eyes and left after she nodded. Their plan was working so far. He would need to find a way to Natasha without being stopped, to be summoned to Pierce. Back doors seemed to do just fine in this case.   
“You did very well there, James. Tony is here, because we would like to try something new, but first there are a few things I need to do. Get comfortable.” Emma sat down at her desk and typed away at her computer. Nobody seemed to really watch her as Tony set up his construction. Miranda watched with interest, James with horror. Emma believed Tony was just showing off, as the hologram fitted into a tiny box. While she typed away she reached out for their minds, she already knew she could trust Tony and to a certain extend also James, Miranda was different. She was an agent. There could still be the possibility of her being something other than Shield.   
“You always work! Nothing but work, work, work. How is this a relationship, if you even sleep at work?”   
“Honey, you always work so hard, are you sure you are doing the right thing?”   
“Female agents are common now, we don’t differentiate. Either you’re out on the field, or you’re a stay at home wife. Your call, Carter.”   
“Carter? As in Sharon Carter? No? How sad, I really wanted to meet her, I heard she is one of our best agents!”   
Faces mingling, voices everywhere, a blur of her mind. Brown eyes staring back at her. Familiar brown eyes. Concern is mixed in them, concern and tiredness.  
“You can’t always be here and hide from life. Maybe you didn’t choose to be down here guarding failures like me, but you chose your side. They let you choose to where you belong. Most down here did not have that.”   
Emma closed the text document in which she had just typed nonsense to mask her actions and got up. Miranda could be an asset to their team, and she was already in the middle of all of it. As she walked around her desk their eyes locked and she turned her head to the side signalizing the beginning of the therapy.   
“Tony, would you work on the statistics and I would like to have all of it on my USB stick.” Openly she handed him the stick and motioned him to sit at her desk. “Is it ready?”   
“Yes, you can work with it now. Just press the button.” He sat down and watched her, waiting for the signal. They did not trust the technology that was handed to them. There had to be a catch.   
“James, today I want to try something new. You will not speak to me, you will speak to your friend. It’s a hologram of Steve, when he was small. I want you to try to speak openly with it.” She sat down on her armchair and pressed the button. Directly a smaller, sicklier Steve appeared looking around the room.  
“Bucky? Can you hear me?” the voice coming from the small loudspeaker in the object sounded as if Steve was speaking directly from the hologram. It was a perfect match.   
“Listen to me, Buck. This is important. Things will change around here. I am still the same person, just in a different body. You need to trust Emma and me. It’s important.” Steve sounded more urgent and rushed as she cared to admit. Quickly she gave Tony the sign to check the USB.  
“Follow Emma, please.” A muffled cry and a few clash and bangs later the line died. Terrified Emma shot up from her seat.   
“Tony, hurry!” she could hear loud footsteps in the hall. Miranda instinctively aimed her gun.   
“We don’t have time for that! Shield has been infiltrated by Hydra, we need to get out!” Quickly Emma grabbed her bag, which she had prepared. It held all the paperback files about James and Steve. No one would get any necessary information. Tony banged the laptop shut and took out the USB, throwing everything into a bag. An audible gulp came from James and he looked around warily.   
“Natasha Romanov is waiting at the jets. We are going now, you come or you stay.” Blue eyes crashing with brown, each trying to stare the other down, but there was no backing down now. James had come too far and she had come too far for this. A crashing many floors up was heard and running. They had to leave now.   
“Come on!” Emma ran out of the door and the others sprinted behind her. She hoped Steve would make it in time, they would never leave him behind, but it included all of their safety. Shots rang through her ears, except Miranda none of them carried a weapon. With a flick of her hand she willed the men out of the way. There was a terrible chaos in the whole building. Agents fighting each other. No one really knew what was going on. Blood and tears of lost agents and of those unwilling to fight. No one knew exactly who belonged to which side.   
Suddenly a voice she knew very well came over the buildings security alarm. Shaking her head in fear, she herded her team outside. The designated jet was already ready to take off. After she made sure all of them were inside, she waited on the landing ramp for Steve.   
“Shield, listen to me. My name is Steve Rogers, most of you know me as Captain America. Shield has been infiltrated by Hydra. We don’t know who is who, but if you are Shield then you will find us. We are not forcing anyone to fight and kill. Emma can find anyone who is loyal. Put down your weapons!” A loud ringing and screech and the message broke off.   
“Emma! We need to leave! He’ll get out! Come on!” Rumlow and his gang of apes appeared on the field. Torn between trying to take them on and going with the team, she just stood there. When she heard a helicopter following something. Shooting at something. Steve. Her small form hurled itself into the air. Concentrating on keeping her form afloat. She motioned for Natasha to take off, while she followed the helicopter. They would not want Hydra knowing where they went. Fast Natasha was hidden in the clouds, she had picked a jet with cloaking system. Brilliant woman.   
If she could bend metal like Magneto, then this would be a far easier task. Keeping herself parallel to the helicopter was easy, getting into their minds and staying afloat was more difficult. All she had to do was confuse the pilot. But how? She could read minds, not alter them. Below her Steve was driving madly around the shooting. The bridge was going up. The bridge. Emma flew in front of the helicopter winking at the men inside, criss-crossing in front of their windshield. Confused they tried to shoot her out of the sky. It was starting to become a wild rabbit chase. Their attention was completely on her, but she knew what was going on around her. Knew they were flying towards the bridge. Wings aimed wonderfully at the pillars. It was a close call. She fluttered her eyelashes at them and sped up towards Steve. The pilot’s eyes widened as they connected with the bridge. In front of them a ramp was lowered, grinning he drove up into it, while she walked up calmly with the ramp closing behind her.   
“Nice trick, Natasha.” She grinned and plopped herself next to the redhead, who just rolled her eyes at her.   
“You too.”   
It took her some time to notice the elephant on the plane. Tension rolled off of Steve and James as they stared at each other. Miranda was trying to rub calming circles onto James back, but it looked more like she was trying to rub them into his back. As she got up, she glided between them, steering Steve to then end of the plane and sitting him down. Softly her hand traced his chin a small smile forming on his lips. She could hear Miranda whispering to James, calming him. With a shake of her head she told Miranda to sit at the opposite end of the plane. They would not be much help for Natasha. Good, that she had given her the coordinates of the Academy earlier in the hospital.   
The flight was long, very long. The tension never once dropped. Each one of them was close to sleeping on their feet. Emma took Steve’s hand as she showed them the way in. Waiting for them at the door was Storm, who worriedly twisted her fingers. Relief washed over her, when she saw Emma and the others.   
“Are any of you hurt? Do you need medical care?” Her voice was dominant, the perfect head of the school except of Xavier. Although she was not a telepath she knew everything that went on in the house.   
“No, we are all fine. Just four rooms, that’s all we need. Sleep.” Yawning she embraced the tall woman fleetingly and pushed past her into the building. There was a bed waiting for her, a bed and a warm shower.   
“It’s all ready for you. Come on.” Ororo moved past them up a flight of stairs and showed them all their respective rooms. The usual inhabitants of the rooms bunked together with others and made a sleepover of it. The need of rooms was not unusual. Throughout the years more and more mutants had appeared and the Academy was slowly becoming too small. So every few weeks the students had to relocate their rooms. She felt sorry for them, but a new wing which would be attached to the building was already in planning. Then they would have more room for everyone and if this increase in mutants continued, they would have to open a second school. There was no other way. The classed were becoming larger and larger. At the beginning she had had twelve students, now she would have a class of thirty. It’s a significant difference. If she will be teaching any time soon. Working with Shield had been her chance to do what she wanted, but it seemed as though the Academy was in dire need of more teachers.   
“I’ll walk you to your room. Then I know where to find you.” Softly his hand stroked over her back and she leaned into his touch. Emma nodded against his chest, leading him down a corridor towards her room.   
“I’ll show you around after we had a rest. None of us really slept this night.” When she opened the door and stepped inside a cloud of dust greeted her. It had settled everywhere in the few weeks she had been gone. Pictures, books, shelves all covered in grey fluff. There would be time for a thorough cleaning session later. Embarrassed she closed the door. There were things in there she did not want Steve to see just yet. He would get to know Scott soon enough. How would he react? How would Scott react? They only separated a few days ago.   
“How about you sleep in my room for the moment. I doubt this will give you the comfort you need.” His eyes roamed around the small room. There was not much, just a bed and her personal belonging, which she had not taken to New York. They would need to get their things from there. It was of no use for Hydra, but the personal value was high and she did not want Steve to lose the bit of home he had made for himself. She might be able to ask Kurt to teleport them, so that she could pack. Pack and send everything by post.   
“That sounds perfect, Steve” When they strolled back to his room, he took her hand softly in his and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. The comfort he gave her was overwhelming. A sudden lack of energy caused her to just lie down on his bed and drifting off to sleep. There was no time to even take off her shoes, all she wanted was sleep. A quiet chuckle came from Steve, as he carefully took off her shoes and her jacket. With ease he lifted the blanket and covered her, while he took the time to undress and change into something more comfortable. Yet as soon as his head hit the pillow he also drifted off to sleep. The two forms cuddling close to each other, unconsciously holding on to the other.   
When she woke up hours later the bed was still warm, but the body next to her was gone. Emma could hear the muffled noise of water running, when she looked around the door to the bathroom was slightly ajar. If that was not an invitation, then what else? Slowly she got up stretching her muscles and then undressing quickly. Steve may be a virgin, but even he would not mind a bit of shower cuddling. Maybe even a bit more than that. Quietly she stepped into the steam filled room, as she slipped behind him in the shower she could hear his sharp intake of breath.   
“What are you doing?” he stammered embarrassed as she lay her arms around his torso. Warm hands moved on to hers and his head turned to look at her. His body looked deliciously flushed, but it could not hide the slight blush on his cheeks.  
“Enjoying a shower with you” she grinned, once she was the one who could tease him. The feeling of the hard muscles was just not enough. Softly she traced the hard lines on his chest and nuzzled his shoulder blades. His breathing was continuously becoming shorter and more ragged. Emma liked, that she had this effect on her man.   
“Give me your shower gel. You need to relax, Steve” her whispers drowned with the water in the drain. After he had passed her the tube and she squeezed some onto her hands she started working it into his body. With care she stroked over his back, kneading the knots in his muscles. Slowly she could feel the tension leave his body. As she went lower her hands moved over his butt, grinning as she gave it a squeeze, which made him yelp. Too cute. Lathering her hands again she slowly massaged his legs, but while she worked upwards she made care not to touch him intimately. This was for now about relaxing. Emma knew this was affecting him, but she would not force herself on him.   
Above her Steve was slowly turning into a gooey mess. Soft moans fell from his lips as she worked all the tension out of his body. He was certain that she was teasing him deliberately.   
“Turn around, Steve” her voice sounded so silky, she knew exactly how to work his body.  
“Emma, no” It was not a definite command. The drawn out no turned into a moan as she nipped his skin with her teeth. It was his embarrassment speaking, but she could not say, that the situation was keeping her cold. Although it was not as directly visible as Steve’s hardness she was soaking wet. With a little bit of tugging he slowly turned around for her. The last time she had not actually seen what she was working with. Nice. Again she took the shower gel and then again started with his shoulders. From there she worked herself down over his chest. Grinning she tweaked his nipples and placed a kiss on his heart.   
Steve leaned against the shower wall watching the blonde work around his body. The little minx looked so innocent. It was infatuating. Steve knew what a woman’s body looked like, he was an artist and women’s forms were and are still popular in art. But this was a woman he could touch, maybe call his as well. She looked so soft, there was no room for sharp edges as her body was so curvaceous. He could see her lying on a soft patch of grass only slightly covered by a sheet. It would be the perfect spring image. When he had left the bed she was still sleeping peacefully. Disturbing that would have been cruel. Just as cruel as this teasing was. A laugh cut off his trail of thoughts.   
“Stop thinking, Steve.” Blue eyes stared up at him through thick black lashes. She was killing him slowly. When she finished with his legs she sat down on her knees. His large form stopped the water from spilling down over her. Leaning forwards she pressed a kiss against his pelvis and then took his hard member into her hand. A loud moan tore from his lips as he grabbed at her hair. Surprised she fought the instinct to look up at him, but continued stoking his erection. There was no way she could just leave him like this.   
“You don’t have to do that, Emma” hoarsely he managed to speak, but she knew he wanted it anyway. No one had given this to him yet and she wanted nothing more than to be his first. He was just trying to be polite, well screw polite.   
“Shush, I want to do this for you, it’s a part of relaxing.” Her tone allowed no protest. Gripping the shower bar he tried not to move jerk forwards as he felt full lips against him. Fondling her hair as he tried not to draw her in closer did not help either. Grinning she placed small kisses along his length, while holding and massaging his testicles with her hands. Slowly she swiped her tongue over the head as a small bead of precome appeared. Her hand moved along as she took him into her mouth lightly sucking. She hummed around his erection as she realized that his climax was not far away. The usual stamina was no problem, if she wanted she would have him hard again in a few minutes, but these things had to be special for him, otherwise he would have already slept with other women.   
“Emma, please .. stop “ Strong hands were firmly pulling her away from him. When she looked up his flushed face made him look feverish and the hot water was not helping the situation. Steam billowed around them, curling around their bodies as she gave Steve a new experience. His thumb caressed her jaw as he gazed down at her. Restraint cut the lines on his forehead as he tried to gain control of the situation, but he had already submitted to all of her teasing.   
“Just let go, Steve, don’t overthink it. I want this as well.” For a second they stared each other in the eyes until a fire began to grow inside his blues, which she took as a hint to continue. Her wet tongue licked a stripe up his manhood. There was only a small patch of blonde curls above his length, so she pressed a kiss against his navel and took him back into the wet cave of her mouth. She heard her name fall of his lips as he bucked forwards against her. To keep him from choking her she laid both her hands on his hips to keep him in position. If he used his full strength Emma would not stand a chance, but the intention was clear to Steve as he settled his hands on hers to reassure her. A small laugh escaped her around his erection.  
Drops of sweat and shower water fell from his bangs, rolling down his cheeks over his lips. Subconsciously she stared at it, transfixed by the way it clung to the lips she wanted to kiss so badly. A slight flick of a wet pink tongue and the drop was gone. Swallowing harshly she felt the beginning of small tremors as his length twitched. Salty fluids spilled from him as she pulled off. After swallowing the drops which had already been spilled inside her mouth, she watched him grip the shower bar, knuckles white with strain. Steve’s head fell back against the tiles as his blonde hair fell in front of his closed eyes. The slight whimpers that fell from his lips were the most enticing sounds she had ever heard.   
As she tried to get up all the blood rushed back to her knees making her light headed. Leaning against his chest his arms snaked around her holding her up. A soft press of lips on her own, a teasing tongue probing her lips as she slowly parted them. Unfazed by tasting himself he deepened the kiss, drawing her in against him. Hard, lean muscles pressing against soft, curvaceous flesh. Wrapping his arms around the small form he lifted her up and carried her out of the shower, sitting her down on the toilet seat only to grab a towel to cover her naked form. All the tension they had felt before from the happenings with Fury and Shield and the negative relation that resided between James and Steve, it all faded as he enveloped her in a big fuzzy towel.   
“What about you? I didn’t reciprocate “, nervousness laced his face and he creased his forehead looking down at the delicate body. Standing up she pressed another kiss to his lips. “You don’t have to give something back to me each time I do something for you. We’ll take it slow with this. You don’t need to do anything you don’t want.”   
Together they moved back towards the bed, collecting their clothes on the way. Steve dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants which had been in the closet and a dark blue t-shirt which fit only just over his large frame. They would have to buy some new things in town before they could get everything from New York. Emma could feel her moisture drip from her as she watched him dress. No one would expect that instead of taking his girl out on multiple dates they started the sexual rollercoaster right away, but it was hard to keep your fingers off of a man like Steve. Bending over to give Steve a view she picked up her clothes from the floor. Feeling his eyes on her made the wait worth it. Tugging up her lace panties and jeans seemed to arouse him again, but hunger was making its way through from her stomach to her brain.   
“You know you still wanted to explain this mutant thing to me.” A creaking told her that he had sat down on one of the small chairs. Grabbing her bra, she thought about how she could explain it, it was simple in a way, but there was so much that went with it.   
“Well, all of us Mutants have an extra gene in our chromosomes. It’s what changes us from ‘normal’ humans. It gives us abilities, for example there are telepaths, element controllers and so on. Some have changes in their appearance and some don’t. We are often called the next evolutionary step, but that frightens a lot of people”, she sat down on the bed and put on her T-Shirt. It was an uncomfortable subject, but she had lived with it most of her life.   
“It does not help, that they call us Homo sapiens superior. Then there is also secondary mutation, which means that already existing mutants gain another power or change in appearance. It happened to me in a way. I was modified to also have an organic diamond form.” Sighing she glanced at him, her face could not betray the worry she felt. She did not once catch his eyes and her nose twitched nervously. Seeing her so distressed made him get up to gather her into his arms.   
“I’m sorry, it should not upset me, I have known all of this for a long time now, but it is so difficult to explain. We live here because the children need to know how to work with their abilities, but also to keep them safe. Often humans don’t know what they do with their prejudice, it’s unbearable at times. Then there are the scientists who want to examine us, as if we would not do that ourselves. Sometimes it is just too much to handle.” Laying her head against his chest she listened to the rhythmic beating of his heart. A soft hand cradled her against him, while another thread its way through her blonde hair slowly unknotting the wet strands.   
“I think I understand what you mean. Thank you for explaining it to me”, Steve’s voice was soft as she searched for his rejection. Naturally wary she felt relief wash over her as even after he had spoken no traces of disgust or negativity met her.   
“Simply put Hydra is a terror organisation, which wants to dominate the world.” A snort made him look down at the woman in his arms and even he had to admit how cliché it sounded, but it was the truth. During the Second World War they worked together with the Nazis. They use the mythological beast as their namesake, because the stories say, that if you cut off one head two more will grow. The problem is that now we know, that underneath our feet an army of heads has been growing. I fought them, when I was still in 1941. The head of their organisation was Johann Schmidt. He had induced himself with an unfinished version of the serum, which they later gave me. It completely disfigured him and he became even more insane. It seems that he disappeared after I fought him. Somehow I had really hoped, that the small groups of Hydra agents we met were just imitating the ‘old days’.”   
Emma listened carefully as he spoke, as his voice grew graver and more serious as he continued. Deep lines etched on his face made him look years older than she had ever seen him. Raising herself from his lap she placed a kiss on his cheek.   
“Enough talking. We both explained to a certain extend what is going on. This will have to do for now. I am starving, what about you?” A small smile greeted her in agreement, so they made their way downstairs to the dining hall. They were to eat with everyone else to not exclude themselves.  
“You know, I have never seen a school look so much like a home”, Steve managed to press out as he again was ran into by a student. She grinned at him. Their students really had luck to have all of this. It was a fact that no one could deny, but all of them also knew, that there was no other place where they would be as welcome as they were in the Academy. For most of the students the Academy was the only home they knew.   
“It used to be a home for Charles. It was his heritage. Now it is a home for every student here. Your teachers and classmates are family. Most of them were abandoned or rejected, some haven’t told their families out of fear. Not everyone has a gift, which is worth the trouble. For example we have a young student who absorbs life energy over skin contact. She cannot touch anyone or be intimate with anyone for now. Imagine what that is like for a young woman, when everyone around her is experimenting with their sexuality.”  
“That must be hard.” As another one ran into him, he just grinned lightly letting it slip. If they did so much to help these children, then it would be only right to treat them equally kind. Also he felt no fear or resentment towards them, maybe because he himself had been changed, or maybe just because he liked Emma more than he already should.  
The dining hall was a large spacious room with long tables standing parallel to each other. There were no specially designated tables for the teachers, they all sat with the students. Steve had a hard time recognizing the teachers as some of them seemed very young, too young to have passed a degree, but when he thought about it, it made sense. They had their own rules, their own society.  
The choice of food was enormous. There were different salads, noodles, different sauces, rice, different kinds of meat, all sorts of vegetables, various kinds of bread and desserts. Steve could hardly believe his eyes. He heaped some rice and chicken on to his plate with peas and a mushroom sauce. Everything looked delicious. To his surprise Emma came back with a plate, which was nearly as full as his own. Together they then took a seat where Miranda and James were already seated. Tony and Natasha were probably still wreaking havoc somewhere.  
“How was your rest?” Emma asked, as they sat down. Uncomfortably Steve shuffled around on his seat, not looking at Bucky in case he set him off again. A quick peek into his mind revealed a calmness coming from Miranda, as he tried to take control of the situation. His instincts to throttle Steve as soon as he saw him were slowly wearing off. Given another few days and he would have no problem seeing Steve. She would need to speak to Charles about continuing her therapy. Soon enough she would be able to make a list of things to tell Xavier.   
“Very relaxing. Thank you. Will you explain now what the hell is going on?” Miranda restrained herself from throwing her mashed potatoes at the blondes head. In a matter of seconds her whole world had been turned around and she had no idea where she was standing at the moment.   
“Later, when Tony and Natasha are there we can all discuss things together.” Steve overruled any discussion that may have come now and they settled on filling their empty stomachs for now.   
Yet the worst situation Emma could have thought of right at this moment appeared behind her. A choked call of her name made her turn around. Behind her stood a tall man wearing dark washed jeans, a burgundy coloured Shirt. Raising her head she saw strands of light brown hair fall in front of dark tinted sunglasses. She could hardly make out the eyes behind the sunglasses, but from the voice alone she knew who it was.   
“Hello Scott.”


	5. Sink or Swim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an attempt at writing an accent and you will know, when you get to it. Try to either speak it out loud or think it loud, then it will make more sense, than what actually stands there.

„Hello Scott.“   
An eerie silence spread through the room. Even behind those sunglasses she could see his eyes flicker to the warm hand, which rested heavily on her thigh. Defiance settled in her and spread through her mixing with her hurt and anger at him. She could feel the eyes of half the school on them. Their relationship was no secret. Their break up was not either. Steve traced small circles on her thigh to calm her down, yet it only aggravated Scott even more.   
“So you are already onto a new boy toy, Emma. Didn’t take you long.” Nine years ripped apart by his one phone call and now he had the audacity to call her out on having Steve. I don’t think so. Emma stood quickly, narrowing her eyes at the man she had once loved. Her eyebrows drawing together in anger and her hand clenching with held back strength. Yet the greater person ignores the taunt, even if it were so easy to knock him off his high horse. Too easy. Just take away those flimsy little glasses.   
“His name is Steve Rogers, those are James Barnes, Miranda Carter, Natasha Romanov and Tony Stark. I do suppose you have heard of at least one of them. I could enlighten you, if you wish.” Sickly sweet the words fell of the end of her tongue before she could stop herself. Maybe a little taunting would be okay. Her mind reached out just to have a little peak, but within a moment she was thrown back and bombarded with images of a red haired woman writhing on top of him, moaning. Sweet gleamed in the dim light, as he licked a trail up her collarbone, up her neck towards her face. That face. Rage shot through her and she lashed out at him, throwing him back into the waiting arms of a red headed devil.   
“Since when?” she screamed at the two of them as she stood. Betrayal settled in the pits of her stomach. It made her sick. There was no time for tears. There was only time for truth and punishment. Several students shuffled out of the dining hall at this beginning display, most knew what came next, it was the reason a great portion stayed. Emma and Scott may have had little fights and quarrels, but as soon as the subject of New York had been on the table it had evolved to a battle none was willing to give up.   
“A few weeks. What do you care about it?” The drawl is too easy, the smirk too confident. When he raised himself off the floor to stand opposite of her, his eyes not once searching the red heads, he smirked.   
“He must have a death wish”, someone muttered behind her. Steve’s blue eyes glared at the brown ones opposite of him. It had never occurred to him, that the woman he was starting to get to know could be violent or even a threat. With her small body she seemed as harmful as a kitten. A little with nippy here and there, but other than that soft and cuddly. The woman standing before him now was a complete stranger.   
“How long, Scott.” If she were a cat she would be positioned ready to pounce on the victim, but she is not a cat. She directed her psionic energy, charged it, waited for the right moment. The face she knew had vanished in its place was a twisted grimace, which tried to show confidence and domination. He had neither and she knew. He knew, that she knew. She always knew. Her usual soft blue eyes turned to ice, coldness marking her face as she strains her jaw, raising the tip of her nose to show tension everywhere. Self-control was the only thing which kept Scott on his feet for now.  
“Maybe a few months now that I think about it.” Months meant she had not even left. Months. Had Scott been sneaking around without her noticing? How had he enabled her from seeing it? He couldn’t. Unless. Unless another telepath was blocking her. Xavier would never do that to her, but he also would never mix into his student’s personal life. That left her. Blue eyes settled on green. A burst of psionic energy left her hands as she threw Scott out of the way. He had not been looking to taunt her, but to protect the demon squirrel. However her energy was deflected by the other psychic. Suddenly there were plates, spoons and bowls headed at her, the weight pushing her down, burying her underneath the china.   
“Emma? Stop it, what are you doing?” a hand grabbed her wrist as she was heaved out of the rubble of broken china and food. A shaky breath left her lips, as the hand moved warmly over her skin brushing away the dirt. There were other ways to fight her. Pushing Steve out of the way and back down on his seat, she took what was left of her dinner and hurled it at “Jean!” Scott’s voice travelled fast, but not fast enough. The impact caught her off guard, so Emma sent a wave of energy after her knocking her off her feet. How dare she sleep with Emma’s boyfriend? How dare she even walk around without a sign around her neck identifying her as what she is: a boyfriend stealing, skanky tramp.   
“Emma, enough!” A blast of red hit her in the chest, throwing her off her feet. Catching herself in time she could push herself up on her hands and flick through the air landing safely on her feet again. Scott’s blasts were nothing she was not used to. It just usually took more time for him to destroy everything. Leaping forwards Emma caught a hold of Jeans hair, as they landed in a pile on the floor. Scratching, clawing. Jean would not be going down with a fight, but Emma had the experience in combat, which was more or less useful at this point. Something hard collided with her nose and she heard the sickening crack it gave. Blood streamed down her nose and over her lips, dropping onto the face of the woman beneath her. With a slash of her nails she caught her cheek, which gave her enough time to kick her in the stomach. A low groan emitted from Jean’s lips told her, that she had hit her target well.   
“I can’t watch this. Meet me later in my room. We need to discuss things.” Steve stood and left the room. The woman he had come to know was someone entirely different. Of course he had expected her to be upset about Scott, they had only just separated. It was normal, but this? Her lashing out so violently? This was so different from the person he had come to know, so different from the sweet, tiny Emma that had him melt in the shower just a few minutes earlier.   
Meanwhile the fight just continued to get worse and worse. Both women were battered and bruised, not allowing anyone to stop them. Food, plates and cutlery sailed through the room advancing at each other. The air tingled from the psionic blasts, which Emma kept throwing at Jean, just to have a blast from Scott thrown at her. Jean was new to this, she did not have nearly enough control over her powers to be a match for Emma, but she stood her ground, which infuriated Emma even more. While the red head sported many scratch marks and a bruised eye, Emma could feel blood dripping from her nose and brow. Staggering once again at Jean she hardly felt the cold arm wrap around her middle. It was only, when she was tightly pulled against a chest, with a slightly scruffy chin at her ear.   
“You have already made a fool of yourself in front of Steve. Don’t make it even worse.” The low whisper travelled through her ear and made her shrink into herself. Warily she looked around at the havoc they had created in their rage. James held her arms against her sides with his. Probably their position would have looked harmless to others, even friendly, but after all of this and the Agents’ experience with the Winter Soldier they knew it was not the case. Stepping carefully out of his arms to not aggravate him she searched out his eyes for a silent thank you. Quickly she then fled the dining area in search of her boyfriend, who most likely did not approve of her getting so upset about Steve. Was he even her boyfriend? They never discussed if they were in a relationship now. The hallways seemed longer than usual, as she stalked towards his room. Bucky said she had made a fool of herself in front of Steve, if he was right then he seemed to know more than he let on.   
A soft, cautious rap at his door made him look up from his drawing. Steve knew from the hesitant way of approach, that it would be Emma. Tony would just barge in, Natasha was too confident for something like that, Miranda would not search him out as she barely knew him and Buck just was not in the state yet, where he seemed to be interested in rekindling their friendship. Emma sometimes seemed so quiet and secluded, that the behaviour earlier made no sense to Steve. Maybe they were rushing things a bit, but she seemed to be fine with it and she never spoke about Scott. Asking her about it had seemed wrong, now it felt as if Scott was a large cloud looming over their progress together. There was no way around it.   
As he opened the door he directly noticed how the skin around her eye was starting to swell and small drops of blood were weaving their way through her eyebrow to fall down her cheek. Sadly he stared into those dull pleading eyes. A stranger’s eyes. Had she ever seen him as a stranger?  
“Steve, I am sorry. Scott just”, she paused, sighed and fidgeted, “he just made me snap. What he showed me in his mind. It was really uncalled for.”   
There it was. The blame. The cloud Scott had created. Were they wrong in what they were doing?   
Emma wiped at her forehead feeling the trickle continue. Steve’s face betrayed no emotion, sadness, doubt, hurt, all etched into his searching blue eyes and slight purse of his lips. The tension was so thick, that Emma believed she could touch it if she reached out and so slowly placed her hand on his biceps.   
“Steve, talk to me. Please. I made a mistake, I am sorry.”   
Her plea hit something inside him.   
“You are a strong woman, Emma. You fight for yourself, but in a way I cannot understand. You deliberately attacked the other woman. Not Scott. Her. If you were angry at him then I could try to understand, but that was just over the top!” His screams echoed down the hall and she half expected the students to run up and see the second commotion. Swiping her tongue across her lip the metallic taste of blood mixed with her surprised tears. She had not noticed the tears leaking from her eyes and felt an ache in her chest, a clammy grip around her heart making it hard to breathe.   
“They were sleeping together behind my back! They fucked with my head! He made me believe he was actually hurt that I left! I felt as if I had done something wrong, Steve, while they were enjoying their time together!” She was right. Steve must know that. She had been violated and betrayed. He must know. Sobs mixed with her frustration as her tears freely framed her face now, running down her cheeks, dripping from her chin down her chest. Red spots started to appear on her usually pale face.   
“So what? You were enjoying yourself at Shield, were you not? Or do you and I see something different in what has been going on? What is this to you, Emma? I know what it was supposed to be for me.” There was no harshness in his voice, but it was clear what he meant and what importance he gave it. A shiver ran down her spine at the coldness in his voice. A stranger’s voice. Of course she knew, that he sometimes had to make the hard call, but she had not expected him to Captain America their relationship. This was not war, or was it? Was he the leader in their constellation?   
“I know you are upset about Scott, but you might want to think about what importance he still holds for you.” The contractions of his throat to swallow thickly made it clear to her how uncomfortable he was. “You better get cleaned up. I want the information on our situation from the professor ready for when we meet later.”   
Even before he had let the door fall into its lock she turned away and marched down the hall. Faintly he still heard her harsh draws for breath and could see the shaking of her small shoulders. Tiredly he sank down on the soft bed just to jump up again and yank the soft blanket and cushions off the bed. Rest. That was what he needed, just a few minutes away from them. If he were in New York he would go boxing, but here he would probably destroy the training room in his frustration.   
Emma quickly went to her room, tearing through her mess as she tried to clean herself with shaking fingers. James had been right, she had made a fool of herself in front of Steve, he had known. Washing the blood and dirt from her face was more difficult than she had thought, so she decided to do the easiest and just stand under the shower until all the grime was gone. Scrubbing her skin clean left her red and raw, but not feeling any cleaner. She loved Steve, no she loved Scott, but he had betrayed her, while Steve had tried to pick up the pieces. No, she had picked up his pieces, they never spoke about her pieces. They were still behaving as if she were his therapist, but was she that? Probably not. Fooling around with patients is against protocol. Her hands shook as she tried to undo the knots in her hair, fishing food out of it. Her stomach churned as her tears began anew. Goosebumps raised on her skin, making her feel sick under the hot spray of water, which fell on her, pounding on her body.  
Trembling she dried herself off, not once looking in the mirror. What if it wasn’t Steve who was the stranger? Was she the stranger and Steve was right? But she really felt something for Steve, she knew what they were. They were a therapist and patient’s relationship gone wrong. As she opened the cupboard a cloud of dust floated around her making her sneeze. Little flakes of dust swirled around her in the light, which crept through the sliver of the window which was not covered. A sudden saltiness on her lips brought her back to her surroundings. This would not do. Picking up her clothes strewn across the floor she grabbed her hoover and dust towels from the cupboard. If Steve would not speak to her, then she would have to do something else until she would feel ready to speak to the professor. Taking out a pair of jogging pants she put them on and a baggy t-shirt. No one would see her like this anyway. First the blinds were rolled up so light spread through the room making the dust savannah even more visible. There was a lot of work waiting for her. The dust was removed or sucked in by the hoover, the windows were cleaned removing the ugly smears the weather had left on them. The washing machine was running with hopefully then dust free bedding. All surfaces had been washed off and put into order. Books previously strewn across the room in her attempt to decide which to take to New York and clothes, which had endured the same procedure, were neatly back in their places. She took every picture frame off of the wall to wipe it off and then decide if the picture was worth staying. Cuddly pictures of her and Scott were all thrown into a box. They had a happy past, it did not deserve burning or cutting to pieces. She made a list of things which would have to be replaced and things she wanted to add, pictures of Steve for example would fill the empty frames. Maybe he would allow her to take him out on a photo shooting. He probably won’t, but it was worth a try. Steve belonged to the category of people that are too helpful to live their own live. Emma felt dread pool in her stomach and she knew she would have to make it up to him. Her inconsiderate behaviour had made him uncomfortable and probably unsure of their relationship. Her poor virgin-everything Steve had been set up for disappointment. This would not happen again.   
After having put on a bra, she decided just to stay in her baggy clothes and made her way to the professor. They were going to have a long talk about shield, her teaching and probably Steve and Scott. Probably he already knew she was on her way towards him, he might have a nice green tea and lemon biscuits for her. Softly she knocked on the large double door. Just as the sound faded the doors slowly opened enough for her to move trough. A fire burned in a corner, with two armchairs in front of it and the smell of fresh green tea wafted over to her. A small smile crept onto her face as she sat down opposite of the man she had grown to know as family. The Academy was family, but Xavier had helped her on so many occasions that she felt comfortable going to him with her problems.   
“Hello Emma, how are you feeling?” smoothly his voice curled around her as he mentally moved the plate of biscuits closer to her. Lemon biscuits.   
“I am confused, hurt, but also happy to be home” tears gathered in her eyes as she reached for a biscuit and nibbled along the edge. Xavier knew about her and Scott and her closeness to Steve was no secret either. He reached out and patted her hand, as if she were still the child which had come here half frozen. The look on his face let her know, that he was thinking of the same moment they had witnessed together.   
“You are always welcome here, but I expect you and Scott to behave like adults. You both have a new relationship. It would be cruel to your partners to continue this fight. It is also no behaviour appreciated in front of the younger students.” His eyes never left hers as he sipped his tea. Sighing she drew her legs closer to her, letting her toes feel the soft fabric of the armchair as she sniffed her nose and buried her face in the crease of her legs. Of course he was right, but were Steve and her really going to work? There was a lot of risk with their relationship. Too good for his own good is how most described him, she expected this to become their major problem. How could he try and do the best for everyone, but them? He was right, she would need to think about what they were. Positions had moved, she was not officially his therapist anymore and she doubted that he would like to continue counselling with his girlfriend. Was she his girlfriend?   
“Emma, stop. You are upsetting yourself. Steve and your relationship is unique. Waiting for a hero to get home can make you anxious, but you are not there yet. Until that point of your relationship you will have learned how to deal with it.” She did not raise her head, but hearing an option which would not scare her to death was very welcoming. Relationships were difficult. Emma thought she was no good at them. Her relationships were no fairy tale, with a happy ending. It was tears, hard work and. And what? Sweat? Blood? How cliché. No, for her it was a marathon. A long, never ending race she just could not win. Her thick blonde hair curled around her face and knees. One hand still held the half nibbled biscuit, while the other harshly raked through the curly mess. She would have to calm down before she could see Steve later. Maybe he would let her explain. Maybe James would help her explain. He knew she had embarrassed him. How had he known? His patience towards Steve had stretched, but she did not believe that he was truly the man Steve had known. It would disappoint Steve. He longed for his old friend, as James longed for peace from them all. Bringing them here had been her idea. Had she done wrong in doing so?   
“Professor, I am not sure if I was right in bringing Steve and the others here. Hydra is looking for them, they will find us, maybe hurt our students. I didn’t think of the risk I was taking. What if something happens? They cannot stay here forever, that I understand, but what do we do in between? Can we risk being found out?” Her head moved from its cave to her knees, where she rested it heavily. Tiredly she reached for the cup to take a sip. Her tongue burned from the heat, but it made her feel more alive, more active. This day had robbed her of her energy leaving behind an exhausted shell of herself.   
“We will work with that problem if it occurs. We have many students in X-men training, but I don’t want any more casualties if we can avoid them. We don’t belong to their war, Emma. We have our own. Taking sides in another will put us highly at risk. If they behave quietly they are more than welcome to stay until they figure out what do with themselves. They are your acquaintances. Treat them as any other guests, which would visit students here. It will be less suspicious. Also, please tell Mr. Stark, that although they are welcome here I do not wish the danger room modified.” The twinkling in his eyes made the corners of her mouth quirk upwards. Her eyes softened as she looked at the fire. Its embers glowed as the flames licked at the wood, consuming it. She had not failed in saving the team. But now she had to make her decision. Would she be a part of that team or would she go back to being a teacher? She loved children. They made her laugh, often they also made her angry, but especially they made her feel alive. Emma did not think she could cope with the constant brink of death around her, never being safe. Would she be safe with Steve or without him? The professor was right. They would learn how to work with these things.   
“If you really wish to teach again, then I expect you to be on your best behaviour and to take over as soon as you can, Emma. Our shortage of teachers has not vanished in the few weeks you were gone.” He had not resented her for taking the chance to work at something new and different. He had encouraged her, as he was doing so now. Teaching would be the right thing. Maybe she could convince Steve to build up a new Shield near here. They would be together without a problem, maybe even rent a flat in the village. All she had to do was convince him, of her, and her ideas. She had no doubt that he would listen to her, but he had always been in charge so he might not like Emma taking opportunities to make her own plans. She would have to find out. As it slowly became darker outside she realized, that she had been staring at the fire lost in her thoughts for quite a while. Subconsciously she had finished off the tea and biscuits as the warmth from the fire spread through the tip of her toes, up her legs and into her chest. Warmth which only came from a home. A warmth Steve tried to give her, which she had not given back to him.   
Abruptly she stood, placing the fine china down on the tablet. She had not noticed before, that he seemed to have new cups. The old, fine porcelain he usually had had been replaced by a not so neatly decorated set of brown cups, which resembled more antique mugs, but with a house full of mutants things broke. Probably it was more robust against the havoc of a hundred teenagers. A quick smile towards the elderly man let her know that she was free to go. He would prepare her teaching plan. Her report for Steve was complete. Now all she needed to do was find Kurt. He would be able to access their old flats in New York. She could give Steve the opportunity to pack his things. They would not lose everything to Hydra and the state police. He had lost everything before. A repeat of this was not going to happen. She would take care of that.  
Leaving the room she quickly scanned the building for Kurt’s presence. He was somewhere in the east wing. Following her instinct navigation, she turned down long corridors in which family heirlooms and pictures had been replaced by art and family pictures of the students. The Xavier mansion had become a home for so many, that leaving it in its previous décor state was not an option. The students painted their rooms themselves, saved money for new furniture if they wanted something different than the standard, it all went its own way. Turning another corner she could already hear Kurt talking loudly with his German accent. A small grin crept onto her face. He had been with them for years now, but the accent lingered and no teasing and teaching could remove it from him. When she knocked on his door, she heard a loud crashing and banging, followed by odd curses in a mix of English and German. Eventually the door opened with a blue man looking at her tiredly, but also curious. Excitement shone in his eyes as she stepped into the room. Of course he had hear what had went down with Scott and Jean.   
“I need your help, Kurt. You are the only one I can trust to go through with this.” Emma sat down on his messy bed, folded one leg over the other and placed her hands in her lap. The blue man leaned against his desk, swishing his tail about making her notice the large wet stain on the floor. So that was the noise she had heard. Probably he fell asleep during studying and knocked over a glass or mug, when she knocked. The shimmering in the puddle reflected the behaviour of his tail even hastier than it had seemed to her before. He was nervous and very much so.   
“So zis is a dangerous sing?” he cocked an eyebrow at her and twirled a pencil between his fingers. Being blue made going outside a lot more attention drawing than he wished. Mostly Kurt stayed in the house, his room gave it away. As a permanent resident most students clutter their room with new books, CDs and DVDs, games, hobbies and so on. Kurt’s room held his school books, a handful of personal belongings but not the amount of trash one would have when you were free to go shopping whenever you wanted outside of classes. She would have to make sure that no one saw Kurt, so that no one could trace them back to the school. That would be fatal and not an aim she wanted.   
“We left New York in a hurry, Kurt. We left all our belongings there. I just want to go to our flats, pack a few bags with personal things. I don’t want everything to become a thing of Captain America, you know? They will auction off his bedding if they get the chance.” A grin flashed over his lips until he became serious again, but his tail stilled. His concern had been unnecessary. She may be the cause of the newest destruction of the mansion, but she was not a permanent unlucky charm.  
“Vat kan I do?” walking over to the window Emma felt as if she had been placed in a seedy crime film. Kurt was prancing about like James Bond leering after his Ladies. When she stood, he reminded her more of the child she knew, more of a child playing spy. Nervously his eyes fluttered left and right, trying to find something to concentrate on.   
“You teleport us into my old flat. I can link my mind to yours, so you know where you are going. I will not have any of the ‘I can’t teleport where I haven’t been’. Then we clear out some of our belongings and you teleport us back. It will be easy and nobody will notice. They probably don’t even have the flats on watch.”   
“Vat if sey do?” Emma could hear him weighing his options. A smirk came onto her face as she stepped closer to him, leaning into his personal space to whisper in his ear. “Then I’ll handle it.” Kurt swallowed. She was too near for his comfort. His eyes flickered down to her cleavage. Breasts mere inches from his chest. Rolling her eyes she pushed him down onto a chair. It was too easy to tease him. “Think about it, Kurt. I want an answer in the morning.” A glance at her watch had her heading out of Kurt’s room back to Steve’s. If there was an option to give Steve his home back, then she would take it. It would be a surprise, he would not have to know about it just yet. Marching down the hallway it seemed smaller, less long, she knew that her mind was just playing tricks on her. It was still the same length and size as before, but her confidence had returned and winning Steve over was just a matter of pretty words. Thinking of Steve gave her a warm feeling, which overwhelmed her being in a way that blocking out the other sounds and minds seemed simple for once.   
Tony and Natasha already lingered before the door. Arguing as always. All she could make out from afar was her name and ‘boom’. Oops. So word had travelled even faster than she thought. That the students knew everything that went on was no surprise, but Natasha and Tony were guests, outsiders to the vine of their school’s gossip. Sighing she stepped up to them and knocked on the door.   
“So you blew up the cafeteria and had a cat fight?” Tony leaned closer towards her, grinning and winking. She wondered if women still fancied him, when they saw him not so cleanly shaven and with heavy bags under his eyes. They probably would, the tiredness did not affect the excitement in his eyes, as he tried to tease her.   
“I only blew up dinner, not the cafeteria and I only hit her once.” Pursing her lips, she could see Natasha’s disapproving glare. Well, Steve was her boyfriend, not Natasha’s. They would figure out how to deal with this. Shortly after James and Miranda also arrived Steve decided to let them into his room. It turned out that Tony and Natasha had already been waiting for a while to ask him if he were alright. Barely glancing at Emma he let them in to what used to be a small bedroom with a working area. This was not a bedroom anymore. Everywhere hung charts, maps, newspapers, profile pictures of people she recognized and some she did not recognize. He had turned the room upside down, probably trying to decide whether or not it was safe to use modern technology. A snicker left her lips at the thought, but drew it back in as the glare that was thrown her way. Steve must be really mad at her. Tony directly jumped onto Steve’s bed, as there was only one free chair and Steve had already taken place on it, Natasha and Miranda leaned on opposite wall’s, leaving James and Emma to sit on the floor. Long legs spread out, as James leaned against the bed. His dark eyes rested on the carpet, then on her, Miranda, but never Steve. Tension resided in his shoulders, but not as vicious as it had been. She would need to say thank you later. He had kept her from honestly destroying the cafeteria.   
“I asked you to gather here, so that we can decide on what has to be done. We know that Hydra has been interfering with Shield, but not to what extent. That information is on the USB stick. The problem is, that there is a code in it, which directly gives away our location. We need to find a way around that. Also we need a different safe house, we cannot risk this school’s safety. They have their own problems. Then we need to find more agents, which are still on our side, I doubt Miranda, Natasha and I are the only ones left fighting for Shield.” Steve sat up straight, staring down his supposed recruits. Emma had never felt so militarized as now. It would take a lot of time to build up another Shield and it would take a lot of missions to find agents loyal to Shield. They had to be very careful, yet she was glad that he had counted in, that the academy was no long term option for them to stay.   
“As long as we are here we need to stay quiet. I am less fazed by Hydra finding us, than picking a side in another war. We cannot handle more than one opponent. We don’t have enough people and most of our trainees are still children. If we concentrate first on finding a new building or safe house then you can operate from there.” Steve seemed unfazed by the use of you than we, he might not have noticed or he might now care for now, if she excluded herself from the team. He nodded at her, but turned away directly. He continued showing on the map the radius they had to build or buy a safe house in which as far away from society but also far enough away from the academy. The limitation that radius gave them was so high they only had two places to go to. Teaching here and seeing Steve would become quite a bit more difficult than she had previously thought.   
“I will take a jet back to New York and buy a building or piece of land, go public with it and say I’ll have new manufacture there. They might suspect something, but cannot openly attack. We’ll build a shell with machinery and build our safe house within.” Tony looked up from his smartphone. Emma guessed he was already buying some old factory or looking at one in the least.   
“Take public transport. You can say that you had a look around here and the press will be waiting for you in New York. We will make sure of that.” Steve drew a circle around the airport and connected New York with it. Beneath this he drew a small capitol T. His intention was now clear to everyone. They would all have some kind of job, something to work on.   
“Is there a way to either crack the code or plant something in the code to give off false locations?”   
“Well one would have to travel around with it until the code can be planted, it might work, it might not.” Natasha twirled a lock of her hair between her manicured fingers. As always she looked bored. Lips tight, a slight downwards frown and eyes everywhere, but not whom she was speaking to.  
“Could you write a code like that?”   
“Yes, I just need a way to travel fast.” Pushing herself off the wall Emma directly knew what she needed, and where she would get it from. Scott would hate her.  
“We have a motorbike here, it’s immaculate. Always a full tank. It’s fast and inconspicuous.” Nodding she held her hand out at them. The little silver USB stick fell into her hand and she snatched it and stashed it out of sight before anyone else got a closer look.   
“I’ll give you the keys later. Drive off during the day, not the night. People don’t drive in the dark here.” Rolling her eyes at Emma, Natasha leaned back against the wall. Of course she wanted to get going, but a spider had to be patient. Black Widow seemed too eager to get away. Trust was difficult now, Steve did not trust her, she could see that, but it could also be their downfall. It did not harm to be a little suspicious of others.   
“Good. Those are the most important things. Miranda, I want you to check in on all your colleagues to see who is Hydra and who not. You will travel with Tony to New York. I will coordinate all the information from here.”   
Steve’s composure made it clear, that this was the ending of their meeting. Hastily Bucky left with Miranda. Emma would understand if they were not too happy with the situation, as James only really trusted Miranda. Letting her go into danger alone was also no good option either, but they had no one else. Now that Tony and Miranda were going to New York her idea to send Kurt would probably sound petty. After Natasha reluctantly left the room she could feel the tension building again. She was not welcome here. Sighing she went over to him, softly tracing the muscles in his back. She lay her head against his shoulders, while wrapping her arms around his middle.   
“Talk to me, Steve” A low whine escaped her, which she tried to hold in. A shiver ran down his spine as he tried to shake her off. Stepping out of her embrace he leaned against the wall, where Natasha had been. At this moment they could have been the same person, Emma was starting to feel very small in front of him.   
“Talk? I have said everything, Emma. You don’t even know what we are anymore. You are the one that needs to talk, Emma.” Tiredly he sat down on the bed. Tony had crumpled the neatly made bed and he did not seem to care, but he was right. It was her time to speak. Kneeling in front of him she placed her hands on his thighs and took his hands in hers.   
“Look at me Steve”, she waited until his eyes rested on hers. For the first time this day she could see the damage she had done. He looked very tired, his eyelids drooped and his head seemed to weigh heavily on his shoulders.   
“Steve, I made a mistake. I will not say again that it was Scott’s fault. It was not. Not just his. I decided to react to what he showed me. A bit more forceful than I should have. It really upset me that he had been sleeping with Jean, not because I still have feelings for him, but because I thought that what we had had meant something. We were in a relationship for a long time. Having that thrown in your face makes it seem so worthless. Time spent doing things which have no meaning anymore. We just started something new. Something different and I messed up. Badly. Just give me another chance to show you what I feel. Please, Steve. Look at me. I am begging on my knees. Give me another chance to prove to you, that I know what we are and we can be.”   
His hands weaved through her hair, as he pulled her chin towards him. Softly his lips covered her own, she had been forgiven. Surging forwards she grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged him nearer. A sudden fever broke out between them, which turned into a frenzied tugging. Steve lifted her off the floor throwing her down on the bed, while leaning over her. Quickly she broke the kiss and yanked his T-shirt over his head. The tanned chest which she still had to explore over and over until she knew where every mole and spot was, where every dip of muscle was. Her hand seemed so small against his chest, her hands dipping into every crease. Hesitantly his hand inched towards the seam of her shirt and underneath, strong big hands moving along her stomach and inching towards her breasts, but not touching. It was Steve’s first time, the frenzy, the heat did not cure the stumbling of his lips and fingers over her small body. As she pushed him up again she took off her shirt, while taking his hands and placing them on her breasts. She knew that her body was only average, her breasts were not more than an average man’s handful, her body too straight and her hips too narrow.   
“Just try something with your hands, squeeze or massage them.” A grin spread over his lips as he tested the new waters. His fingers dug into her flesh, teasing her, massaging her. Writhing beneath him she already felt him stir against her. The closeness of their bodies left nowhere for the heat to go, quickly a film of sweat covered their bodies. Before she even realized he had lifted her breasts out of her bra, then opened it up at the back. Warm fingers spread over her back as he threw the bustier off the bed. A low moan fled her lips against his, a nip at his own made him look at her. In a small matter of words his tiredness had lifted from his body. Eager to explore her body he slowly caressed her frame, while leaning down to place small kisses along her collarbone, down her cleavage. The cold tip of his nose brushed against the warmth of her breast making her shudder, but smile. A soft laugh fell of her lips as he tickled the span of her stomach whilst placing kisses on it.   
With shaking hands he pushed down her jogging pants, leaving her bare in front of him. Surprise, bewilderment and lust flashed through his face as he took in her naked form. She had not worn panties, not realizing that someone might see underneath her jogging pants. Comfort and laziness had been the main reason, the second was her impatience. Washing her underwear had been more important than actually wearing some. Softly his hand traced her form, not daring to touch her. Caring for the looks of her body had not been a primary concern in the shower earlier, so now there was a small patch of dark blonde hair on her mound. His hands travelled down her leg, up again, over her stomach, down her leg again. Never once touching her. A ghostly touch as he swept past her made her shudder, gasping for a feeling against her.   
As she tried to reach for him, for his pants, to undress him, to feel him against her, he pushed her hands away, motioning for her to stay. “I still have a debt to repay”, his husky voice seemed to soften by each mere inch he got closer to her. Carefully he pushed her legs apart, looking up at her, and then diving in to her arousal. His large frame hardly fit between her spread legs, so he lifted one leg over his shoulder, slowly running his finger up the length of her sex. Her arousal made it easier for him to explore this newly exposed part of her body. She wondered if Steve knew his way around even if he was a virgin.   
“Tell me, when I am doing something wrong”, the strong voice sounded almost shy between her legs. A quiet giggle sounded from up above and he smiled at the happy look on her face.   
“You can’t”, softly she ran her hand through his dark blonde hair, memorizing the feeling of it against her palm. Carefully he leaned in to her touch, whilst finding his way around the new territory. Emma had never thought that his exploring of her could feel this pleasurable. Slowly he traced her a finger along her slit, until his finger by accident brushed against her clit. With a loud moan she bucked against his hand, almost hesitantly he tried to draw away his hand. So as quickly as she could she snatched his hand and placed it back on her mound. A short nod told him he had not done something wrong, but that she was sensitive there. His finger returned to her clit and rubbed at it, squeezing it, while watching her crumble underneath him. Composure fled for lust, and even if she had tried to keep her composure, her body betrayed her all too well. A shine of sweat covered her body, her moisture increasing by each of Steve’s movements and a red flush spreading from her cheeks over her body. He could see a glistening at her mouth indicating, that she was losing control of herself, a flash of her pink tongue swiping over glistening lips.   
Placing a soft kiss against her stomach he withdrew his hand from her clit, tracing her wetness, feeling it on his finger. The glistening sticky substance, which ran down his long finger, the sight of him staring at it fascinated made her moan. Her smaller hand subtly crept down towards herself, to show him where she wanted it to be at the moment, but before she even got past he navel he snatched her hand away and drew it up past her head.   
“Don’t.” A soft command, it was his turn to figure it out. Since when did commands turn her on so much? It might be the way his lips had moved, or the way his eyes had lingered on hers until falling back down to her breasts, her stomach and then her sex. Taking hold of the bedframe to leave him his fun she could hardly believe what had happened earlier. As if he had read her mind his finger slowly drifted towards her opening, Emma would not even know if she were emitting waves of her mind to him. Pleasure rolled over her as he traced her opening, until moving inside. She had taken more before, but had not had sex in a while. Slowly he moved inwards, watching her face and body, as he reacted to the beginning penetration. Her head fell backwards in her neck, mouth open, eyes shut tightly, as small whimpers fell from her lips. Her body arched upwards, begging for him to take her, begging for him to do something with her.   
Leaning forwards he took the peak of one breast carefully into his mouth, suckling on her nipple, biting carefully around it, while massaging and rolling the other in his hand. Digging her fingernails into the soft wood, all she could do was watch him as he tormented her body. Rocking her hips slightly against him, he turned his attention again to the finger already inside her, bending it slightly moving it around, feeling her insides. Quickly enough he seemed to understand though that he would have to open her up further, if they wanted to go on this way. A second finger traced the outside, spreading her moisture over her sex and the tip of his finger until pushing it in next to other. She could feel him spreading his fingers, turning inside her, feeling her, opening her. She was no virgin, but she was so close to losing her control. Seeing inexperienced Steve handling her body, moving it around, as if she were just some rag doll, it was too much to handle.   
“Steve, I want to see you, I want to feel you against me”   
His breathing was fast, the rise and fall of his chest uneven, a bright flush covered his cheeks and chest. Another finger slipped inside her, pushing at her edges, spreading her, while his thumb found his way back towards her clit, rubbing it, teasing it. A wave of pleasure flooded through her, moistening his fingers and the inside of his palm. A loud cry of his name made him finally look up at her again. Ignoring her wishes had sounded like a good idea, but even he could see how close to the edge she was. A glistening pearl of sweat travelled down the valley of her breasts, until it was swiped away by the tip of his tongue. Carefully he retreated his fingers out of her in favour of taking her hands from the headboard. Sweat dropped down his forehead, running over his brow and falling down the tip of his nose.   
As fast as she could, she leaned forwards placing her lips on his and pushing her tongue into his mouth. At the same time she tried to open the button of his pants to push them down his hips. Biting at each other, fighting for dominance as a thin trail of spit ran down the side of his mouth. Desperation. Pushing him back she tugged at his trousers until they were gone, her fingers directly moved underneath the seam of his briefs. Feeling his length against her hand, the wetness of his mouth and the stickiness of his fingers moving against her sides, tracing invisible lines.   
Slowly she got entangled herself from him to scoot back on the bed, lie down and to spread her legs as invitation. Pleasure, lust, but also embarrassment rolled off of him, she could feel it washing over her body as she took in the sight of him kneeling before her. Holding her hands out he crawled towards her, taking her hands in his, lying them on the bed and leaning down for a soft kiss to her cheek, nose and lips. Sweat dripped down his forehead, running down her body, gathering in the small dips of her form. A nod was all it took for him to push carefully inside her, a dazed look on his face, as he felt her tighten around him. Emma could feel him, could feel the heat spread from her core to every corner of her body, felt him move along her walls, as she clenched her walls and relaxed again. Sex was a game. A game of teasing and dominance, but also of sweetness and love. With a slight roll of her hips against him he started to move, pushing in deeper until she felt his balls slap against the apex of her thighs. She could see how he had to hold himself back as he pushed in, each thrust harder than the one before.   
Emma wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders, clawing at his back, leaving red marks along his usually spotless back. A frantic pace kept them going, rolling against each other, pushing, thrusting, creating a fire between them. Sweat splashed between them, her moisture coating him, breathless moans and drops of saliva coating their body. Longer than she had expected he held on, long enough to make her shudder before him. Pleasure erupted from her core and tore through her body, a small scream tearing from her. Emma grasped his hair, tugging forcefully, holding him against her. Steve hardly felt his orgasm rushing over him as he watched the woman underneath him shuddering, her nipples peaking, chest arching off the bed. Half shut eyes staring back at him, open mouthed, while silent screams fell from her lips. A warmth spread in her as he spilled inside her. Leaning down over her trembling form he placed small kisses against her shoulder, leaning his forehead against her neck, feeling her swallow, feeling the heat of their love making.   
Softly she weaved her hands through his hair as he slowly settled down on her, not yet leaving her body. His large frame next to her on the bed, covering her, keeping the heat, it was bliss. Although they hardly had time for real cuddling, Emma felt even more loved just lying in his strong arms as they held on to each other.   
“Wait here, love, I’ll be right back”, he mumbled against her skin and stood. Pouting she watched him move towards the desk, looking for something. Emma watched the muscles in his back and bottom flex as he moved about the room. When he returned to her, he held a small blank note pad and a pencil in his hand. He sat down at the end of her bed, eyes travelling over her body. She watched him as his hand moved over the paper, heard the slight scratching of the pencil and tried to stay as relaxed as she could. Although she felt slightly exposed, his eyes wandered over her body with so much affection and care, that all she felt was her heart swelling. This man, who was currently scratching her body onto paper, cared for her and she would care for him as good as she could.   
“I didn’t know that you draw” lazily she picked at blanket waiting calmly for him to return. Seeing him sitting there, naked, with just a sketchpad in his hands tracing her body made her smile. She was luckier than she had thought.   
“You still need to learn a lot about me, as I need to learn about you” softly he caressed her thigh, leaning forwards to place a kiss on her knee.   
“May I see, when you are finished?”   
“I don’t usually show my drawings to other people” hesitantly he placed the pencil on the bedside table and then lay back down beside her. Lying down on her stomach she looked at the image of her sprawled out on the bed. He was very good.   
“Steve, this is really good” surprised she quickly scanned through the previous images, some were of here, probably from their therapy sessions, some of Natasha, James and a woman she did not know. She looked very pretty, but the old fashioned hairstyle and clothing gave away that it must be Peggy.   
“Don’t look at that.” Embarrassed he pulled the small booklet out of her reach, closed it and put it in the draw of his bedside table. A soft laugh made him look back at her, she reached out and placed a hand on his cheek caressing it. While leaning in to her touch he kissed the inside of her palm and then placed an arm around here to draw her in closer.   
“I know that you were interested in other woman before me, Steve. I am not jealous. She looks pretty and if the situation were different, then I am sure, that it would have played out just the way you both imagined at the time.”   
Nodding he then kissed her forehead. They were lucky. Drawing the blanket out from underneath their bodies, he wrapped it around them and knew that for now he would not again lose someone he cared for.


	6. For you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God damnit, I was writing and then I heard Love will keep us together from Captain and Tennille and I was gone. Next thing I know was that I was singing it all day. Then when I continued writing it came again. Next thing I know is I’ve been looking on YouTube for over an hour at “Love will keep us together” covers. Damn it all! Also I have been off on holiday for a week and it was just way too hot to write in the beginning.

Chapter 6  
When Steve and Emma stepped into the cafeteria the noise was deafening. Half the school was in uproar and they did not know why. Steve led her towards the food and filled his plate. The tower of food wobbled dangerously as she watched him move back towards their team. They had not spoken about the night before, it seemed unnecessary, but something had changed between them. Glancing around, she noticed Scott and Ororo discussing something heatedly. Sandwich or cornflakes? Breakfast at the academy had too many choices. Choosing something and being happy with it is nearly impossible, when everything looks great. Balancing her plate above the heads of the younger students rushing to their food she picked up a roll, some butter and honey. This morning needed sugar. She could see Steve and the others already continue their planning, food lying untouched on their trays. Her coffee cup nearly went flying, when a loud clatter rang through the hallways, followed by an angry looking Ororo leaving the room. Sheepishly Scott started collecting the pieces of the fallen plate.  
Sighing she placed her tablet next to Steve and then went to kneel next to Scott to collect the pieces. Surprise washed over his face to be replaced with a firm scowl.  
“I don’t need your help.” The ice in his tone did not faze her, summoning the small shatters and collecting them on a small tray.  
“I know. I just wanted to be nice. Well, and say sorry for yesterday.” Her long blonde hair fell in front of her face as she bent to pick up the slices of toast to lay them on the table and then wipe off the floor.  
“You are sorry?” disbelief laced his voice, sighing she raised her head to see him staring at her. Emma felt Steve’s eyes burning in her back. This was her chance to make it right, but also to have a little revenge. No one ever said anything against a good old prank.  
“Yes, my behaviour yesterday was silly. I have Steve now and you Jean. It just didn’t work out between us and I understand. I really hope you are happy, Scott. That is all I ever wanted for you. I did not know, that I was not doing what I intended.” A small smile graced her lips to see him confused. He knew she hardly ever caved to apologize and say she was wrong. Genuinely surprised he raised the corners of his lips into a grimace of a smile. The visor could not hide his confusion and a small laugh escaped her. Looking over her shoulders she winked at her boyfriend sitting at the table. Turning away with a slight frown, she knew that Scott and Steve would never accept each other.  
“He does not seem to be the funny type. I thought you crave happiness?” the ice digging at her did not faze her. As he stood he offered her a palm to raise herself off the floor. Standing only an inch smaller than Scott, she reached out and embraced him.  
“You don’t know Steve.”  
The whisper hardly left her lips as she detangled herself from him and made her way towards her group and sat down. Glancing behind her she made sure that Scott left the cafeteria in confusion. She did not need her powers to bend her ex to her liking. With a self-satisfied smirk she pushed the keys of a motorcycle towards Natasha.  
“There. Your ride.”  
With a raised eyebrow she took the keys, swinging them around her finger. A hard stare settling on Emma’s features, as she also felt Steve look at her warily.  
“You nicked them from Scott.” Of course Natasha would notice. Natasha only rolled her eyes at her as she laughed.  
“Oh Emma, really?” Steve sighed as his hand went to his hair and ruffled it. Although he looked mildly frustrated he smiled warmly at her. Leaning over he kissed her forehead as she grinned happily.  
“It’s just a prank. He cheated on me and he deserves it. He gets it back as soon as you are back, Natasha.” Barnes grinned slightly as he watched amused at Natasha’s annoyance. They would be great friends once they get over the fact that they both hogged Steve. Steve was very likeable, it was easy to make him happy and he made it easy for others to be around him. Yet from what James could see Natasha felt the need to protect the rather clueless man. Accepting Emma would be a hard task for her, as Emma seemed to be all over the place, while Steve probably still folded his underwear precisely corner to corner. He could remember small, sickly Steve standing at home, tidying after him, washing, folding their clothes and making their beds in the morning. Usually he would throw his things in a corner, when he came home from the docks he would tell Steve that he would clear them away in the morning. Yet usually when he then got up in the late morning everything would be cleared away and already washed.  
Emma stared up at her partner and stroked his arm, laying her head against his shoulder. With a small smile he kissed the crown of her hair and put an arm around her. They would have time for each other now.  
“Right, before you two become really cuddly, I’ll get a taxi for us to the airport. The press already knows about the bought factory, they will be waiting for us at the other end.” Tony got up, stroking his chin. The scratchy stubble bristled as his fingertips moved over it. Miranda stood up too and stared ahead. The brunette had hardly spoken during breakfast and looked pale with fright. Her job would not be easy. Trust was a lot to work on, they could not risk having spies in their little Shield.  
“I will join you.” Her calm voice betrayed the glance towards Barnes before she stalked off towards her room to collect her things. Stark looked at each of them and then left with Steve’s nod. He had no luggage as they had arrived on a rather short notice. All he had had with him was the box in which the programmed hologram of Steve was, which Hydra would want but could not have. He supposed that they would need it here if they continued their therapy of James. Striding out the cafeteria he quickly called a taxi and then waited in front of the mansion for Miranda.  
Tony’s announcement had Natasha off her seat moments later.  
“I’ll best get ready to leave too. I need the greatest head start I can have. Steve, I will send you all the information I can get” she said, threw her hair over her shoulders and walked out not waiting for confirmation or a reply. Emma’s gaze followed her out, Natasha was so caring towards Steve and so rude to everyone else. Although she knew that Steve was sure of his feelings for her, Emma knew that one word from Natasha would have him spinning their relationship to the confused state if not also the end. If Emma really wanted a relationship with Steve she would need to be on friendly terms with Steve’s friends. Her gaze drifted towards the left behind soldiers. Steve was munching away happily on his toast, while James fidgeted with the spoon in his hand. They all had left him behind to stay with the people he did not trust or care for. They were trying to change him but they all knew that the old James Barnes was just a fictional character in his brain and not a reality. Maybe he would loosen up and become that person again, but the old Bucky was still frozen in the past.  
¨You don´t have to sit with us, Buck.¨ Steve glanced at him and then continued watching his hand run through Emma's hair. As quickly he could the brown haired man fled the cafeteria and looked around the building. He had spent the evening trying to comfort Miranda. The poor woman had been terrified of her mission. The Steve he remembered would have considered asking her if she were comfortable with it. Either he had really changed entirely or he was a fraud. Although Emma did her best to convince him of the first he still felt the latter was more likely. Miranda stood in the entrance and stared at him with her doe eyes. He had the feeling she felt awfully plain, but those eyes stood out to him, they had beautiful flecks of gold in them and were not a muddy colour but a nice chocolate colour. Although she did her best to seem tough her features were soft and she had a cute button nose. As soon as he was in reach she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to his chest. Small hands tugged at his shirt which caused him at the agent. Before he could realize what was going on he felt soft lips against his, nipping at his lips, seeking entrance. Confused he drew her in closer deepening the kiss, feeling her warmth against him. Slowly he let go of her and pressed a kiss to her forehead lingering a moment longer to feel her skin against his lips.  
As soon as he had pulled away from the small agent he heard two sets of hurried footsteps. A flash of red hair in the mirror on the wall announced Natasha and Tony's annoying whistling echoed down the hallways. James would bet a dollar that Steve and Emma would not show up for good byes as they seemed so occupied with themselves. Miranda tried to pull herself completely from him, but with a quick move he snatched her hand holding it reassuringly in his. Tony raised his eyebrow at them, but was completely ignored by the two.  
"We better get moving, Carter. The plane takes off in an hour and although it is a private jet I would prefer for it to leave with us on board." With a smirk, glanced around and then focused again on Miranda. After a quick peck to James' cheek she stepped outside with Stark, sliding into the waiting vehicle, never once looking back. If she had, he wouldn't have let her go. With worry he watched the car speed off into the distance.  
"Try not to kill Steve while we are out. Look for something to do around here, it will take your mind off of this mess. “Natasha looked at him concerned. Her Russian fell fluently off her lips and he was surprised that she would chose to speak to him in her native language. It made him feel oddly comfortable to hear and speak Russian for a bit. Sadly Natasha would be gone in a few seconds.  
„I will try. Be safe." he replied softly in Russian. Although he had been kept at Shield for quite a while now the Russian tongue just came to him. A slight crease on her forehead and a miniature twitch of her head told him she had been surprised at his words.  
„You did not say to Miranda to be safe." the calculating look on her face drew a small smile on his lips.  
„She won't be safe. She will be out in the open because of Steve's plan. All I can do is hope she returns."  
Widow nodded in agreement, then turned on her heel heading towards the garage. Standing in the entrance alone he knew she was right. He would need something to occupy himself or he would be go crazy in fear. There would surely be something to do at the school. The building was giant, there were bound to be things which had to be done. He would not mind mowing the lawn or going around swapping bulbs, as long as it meant keeping interaction with Steve and Emma to a minimum. All he needed to do now was look for someone in charge of the place.

Steve watched his former companion leave the room and then glanced back at his girlfriend.  
“He will be fine, Steve. Just leave him for a while.”   
With a nod he agreed, but he doubted her with this one. Emma was a good therapist, but Buck was really toying with her ability. Worried eyes met his silence as he got up.   
“I’ll go say good bye to everyone”, he whispered before disappearing through the double doors. The sight that greeted him at the entrance made him back away again though. Of course he had had his ideas about what was going on between Buck and Miranda, but he had not known that they really had feelings for each other. Steve realized that he was no part of James’ life anymore. They didn’t talk and he had no right to know about his relations anymore. With a confused sigh he left for the gardens and sat down. Emma would find him, if she needed him.   
Meanwhile the blonde had left for Xavier’s office with the firm intent to teach again. They needed staff and she loved the children. It meant a lot to her to have them around her and teaching them had always been a lot of fun for her. Knocking on the Professor’s door she immediately heard a voice call “enter”. He must have heard her drawing closer to his office. When she opened the door she found him sitting in the armchair beside the fire.   
As she approached he poured a cup of tea for her and waved his hand for her to sit down.   
“So you really want to teach again? What about your desire to go further than this?”   
It was not an approach to her, it was curiosity she sensed from the elder. A sad smile spread over her lips.   
“Yes, I loved teaching and being a therapist was not what I imagined it to be and I am still working on Bucky. His mind is a mess." She sipped at her tea, feeling calmer now, she had not realized how on edge she actually was.   
“Do you think you will have enough time and space of mind for that, Emma? With Barnes, Rogers and their plans you already have a lot on your plate.”   
Planting her elbows on her knees she continued sipping at her tea, while staring at the fire. He was right, she would have a lot of work keeping Barnes in line and trying to get Steve to not overdo it, but other than that? Steve had not given her a mission, no plans involved her. Emma could not really make out if Steve was just terrified that she might get hurt, or if he thought that she was incapable of helping. For now she hoped that he was just concerned for her safety, as she did not want to be taken out of action while he risked his life.   
“I think I can manage. I’ll primarily be a teacher, James is glad, when he does not have to see me as often and I bet Steve will be out of here soon. So I can focus even more on my student’s studies.”  
A kind smile was directed at her and he nodded.   
“Your class plan is on my desk and you should hurry. Your class is waiting for you.”   
With a grin she emptied her cup, jumped up and grabbed the sheet from his desk, with a happy “thank you” she fled the office in favour of greeting her class.   
From afar she could already see a grape of students huddled around the door. With a flick of her wrist the door opened and the students shuffled in. Not really noticing their new old professor they chatted amongst each other. Snowballs hurled through the room, burst into flames and crystalized again. Iceman and Pyro probably thought they were being hilarious. Emma stopped all the missiles mid-air and slammed her hand down on the desk.   
“Good morning, class. From now I am taking over the regiment again. Missiles are not accepted in class. John, Bobby, I have an eye on you.” Grinning she winked at the two boys, then dropped the missiles into the empty trashcan. Her class looked happy to see her and she could not help but smile brightly at them.   
“I am taking over for human and mutant history and power orientated lessons. Could anyone tell me where you stopped the last lesson? You should be after the Second World War now, as we are coming to the end of the school year. Have you finished the cold war?”   
Her expectations were rewarded with curious shaken heads and confused looks around the class room.   
“We were going to start with World War Two today, Miss Frost” hesitantly one of her students pushed her notes towards the edge of her desk. Emma marched towards her and had a look at what they had done. They were far behind. Five lessons on the Second World War was just not enough, but it would have to do.  
“Fine, then we will have a look at the mutant’s side today, tomorrow the human’s side and then the end of the war. What do you know about mutants in the Second World War? We will just gather info now and then put them in order later.”   
The chalk floated towards the board and wrote down “2nd World War” and drew a bubble around it.   
“Magneto became a mutant at that time”   
“There were only few mutants”   
“Magneto got his powers during the War”   
“Mutants were not a target during the Second World War”  
“Alright, that’s already enough because those are very important aspects.” The chalk dropped back into its box and Emma sat down on the desk facing her students. She put her leg over the other and glanced around the room. The class was larger than before. Most of the teenagers she knew, but there were many that had joined and did not seem to know a lot about their history yet. Pointing her finger at one of the ones she did not know yet.   
“You. Name?”   
“Tabitha Smith also known as Boom Boom.” Lazily she blew a chewing gum bubble, let it explode and repeated the motion. Unimpressed Emma raised an eyebrow, but she would not scold her yet. Behaviour like that would not get her far and Emma suspected she was just playing up to impress.   
“Right, Tabitha. Who was the first mutant?”   
The young girl snorted and looked at her.   
“Namor, everyone knows that. Magneto was the one first recorded to have a power outburst and many believe that he was the first mutant.” Arrogantly she twirled her hair around her fingers and scribbled on her notepad instead of looking at her teacher.  
“Wrong. Namor was not the first mutant. We might not have many information about them, but there were mutants before that. Common belief says that En Sabah Nur was the first. He is often referred to as Apocalypse. His powers give him complete force over his molecular structure enabling him to change his form. For example there are pictograms showing En Sabah Nur with eagle like wings, but also him as a skinny slave and an athletic sportsman. These pictograms have been found in ancient pyramids and the possibility of the pictures showing an alien creature has been rejected. Lesser known is the fact that before En Sabah Nur there was another mutant. Her name was Selene and she has been deemed a ‘vampire’. She can drain the lives of others, human and mutant. It is suspected that the fascination with vampires and the mere idea come from her being. She lived thousands of years before En Sabah Nur. Sadly there are hardly any records on her identity and her abilities, but unlike myths like the Loch Ness monsters there have been sightings and records which draw itself through history. We can believe that she was real and even that she might still walk among us”   
Glaring at her new teacher Tabitha took notes and wrote down what the chalk had noted down in a list. Emma had put her on the spot and corrected her and she did not like it one bit. Getting up from her desk she looked around.   
“Next one. Tabitha was right about Magneto. He had the first recorded power outbreak. Who can tell me about his early life, which resulted in his ideology of society.” Many hands went into the air at that just as she had expected. It was a simple question, but there were many details which were important. As usual in a class a group was not bothered, the other bored and another eager. They were well mixed. Pointing at Bobby he directly started babbling.  
“Magneto was born as Max Eisenhardt, Erik Lehnsherr was his cover identity. His family was Jewish and they lived in Germany. When they fled to Poland they were captured during the German invasion and brought to the Warsaw Ghetto. His whole family was executed, but he was able to flee from there only to be brought to Auschwitz later. There he reunited with a child hood friend, with whom he managed to flee during the Birkenau revolt. The two had a daughter, but during that time he started to notice his powers. In fear of him the village people burned down his house, whilst the daughter was still inside. His powers mixed in with the loss of his child and he killed all the people in the area and destroyed half the village. Magda left him and died while giving birth to Wanda and Pietro Maximoff.”  
Laughing slightly she cut off Bobby’s rambling.   
“You make it sound like a tragic fairy tale, but never the less you are right. He witnessed the Second World War on the side of the oppressed and witnessed terrible things that mankind did to each other but also to mutants. Why do you think his family was attacked? “  
“Fear.”  
“Yes, fear, but where did that come from?”   
The students glanced around, shrugging at each other. All of them knew what it was like being reproached with fear, being secularized from the other children. They all had experiences with racist behaviour and fear.   
“Well, the people to that time witnessed what one man could do if he played his cards right. Hitler was not insane, he just believed very strongly in an ideology that was already portrayed throughout history. Jews had always been discriminated. They were said to be wealthy, money and family stealing people. Many believe that Darwin’s theory of evolution was also fire to the belief in superior races. Hitler abused his theory and bent it to what he needed, but not just him other nationalistic politicians did so before him. The NSDAP used to be a political group for everyone, it was new and did not rely on old methods and images. For example you had catholic people who voted for a particular party and the aristocratic society who voted for another. The NSDAP had none of that and the broad mass could rely to it that is why so many people supported the idea in the first place. Hitler promised them a better life after the First World War which left them at the bottom of where they wanted to be.   
Now imagine being oppressed for something you believe in, for being born into a different religion and be called a vermin and parasite. Then you see someone floundering their new found powers, which are really out of the ordinary. Other than a different religion and not sharing the ideology of Hitler there were no physical differences. It was fear, but also anger directed at the wrong person. He differentiated himself from them physically and had no problem with showing that. People were scared of the war and for their lives. So this secularisation we have now is still a product of the Second World War. Magneto’s powers were massive and the story grows in the telling. People started becoming afraid of us, because also as you know, when something happened there is nobody to blame.”   
A tense atmosphere settled among the student’s as they tried to imagine the life their nemesis might have gone through. Emma thought it was most important that they learned where anger and hatred came from and to not just see him as the evil guy. They had to understand that there was a reason for his ideology, but if they were against humans then they would be as bad as Hitler. They would secularize a group for their impending doom and although Magneto meant well for mutants his ideas did not take them far towards peace.   
“Now to the next point. You are right, there were not as many mutants then as there are now. Since then the numbers have increased significantly. We are not really sure as to why the gene is now triggered more often. For one the scientists say that solar radiation could be a trigger, but for most of you it was puberty or distress. Only few are born with the triggered gene. What we do know that there were some mutants during the war. Some fought actively and some were in concentration camps. Old documents inform us about this, as the Nazis were quite keen on documenting every little bit of their horror. In combination to this we can already answer the next point. Mutants were not the prime target. People knew so little about mutants that they were not considered a threat, but if they were found, then they were still taken for either testing or the concentration camps. The Nazis did horrible things to gather knowledge in the name of science; human and mutant experiments. We will not delve deeper into this gruesome chapter of the War mostly because we have no time for it, if you have questions then feel free to ask. If you don’t feel comfortable asking in front of class, then you can come to me during your free time.”   
Slowly the students collected their things, some deep in thought as they quietly left class and others hardly fazed by the subject. Emma smiled reassuringly at the leaving teenagers. They would have to cover the war in detail, when they came back from their summer vacation, but for now they could have some things to think about. Maybe she could encourage Steve to speak in front of her class the next day. They would surely like that, and they would love watching a film in their last lesson.   
When the last student had left the room she went in search of her boyfriend with whom she had great plans. It took her some time, but she eventually found him watching the other student’s playing basketball in the courtyard.   
“Hey there, Mister” she winked and sat down on his lap only to drop between his legs as he tried to accommodate the intrusion. His arms snaked around her middle and drew her closer to his chest, while resting his head on her shoulder. He nuzzled her neck and placed soft kisses against her jawline. Giggling she placed her hand in his hair and played with a wisp of his hair.   
“It tickles”, she said laughing, but as she turned to wink at him she noticed the sadness in his eyes and his quietness during the show of affection.   
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly and palmed his cheek to make him look at her. She had been a good therapist, knew when to be soft and when to be strong for him. Following this as his girlfriend she knew when something was wrong with him. With a soft kiss to his lips she drew the words out of him.   
“I am not a part of my best friend’s life anymore. They kissed, Emma, Buck and Miranda. I knew there was something going on, but I didn’t know that he had feelings for her. He didn’t tell me about Miranda.” Distressed he pulled her closer to his large form and cuddled her against him.   
“We know about that, Steve. Of course you want your friend back, but we aren’t that far yet. His mind is still a mess, Hydra did a good job where that was concerned, but we are getting on. He can stand to be in the same room with you, even in reaching distance. We got him from attacking to hostile. That is a great accomplishment. He’ll never be just the same, but these things take time.”   
He nodded against her palm and kissed the top of her head before she wriggled out of his grasp. When she stood she extended her hand for him to pull him off the soft ground. “Come on. You sat here long enough. Tony might have already published his newest purchase.”   
Steve stole another kiss from her as they stood chest to chest. Together they then made their way inside to her room. Sitting down on the bed Emma turned on the telly and then went to get them something to drink.   
Tony Stark announced today that he bought an old factory in Westchester County. Stark Industries promised to create over a hundred more jobs in that area. Stark Industries said that opposers of the company need not worry as there will be only minor works done at the new factory. What works have not been cleared yet. The building was sold at an average of a half a million dollars as the grounds cover a very large area.   
“It’s already all over the news. All the channels show him walking out of the plane without Miranda at his side though He probably had a second exit for her or let her wait in the plane until the press was gone, but we don’t have an okay yet to work on the building.”   
Emma looked at the man in front of the television. His words echoing through the hallway. The water in the glasses sloshed about as she sat down next to him and handed him a glass. Without looking at her he took the glass and had a sip.   
“You should have an alias when working there. I don’t want you to be out in the open, it worries me.”   
Steve looked at her surprised and then lay an arm around her middle to rest his hand on her hip. Acknowledging the intention she leaned against his side and rested her chin on his shoulder.   
“I’ll think about it. It might be a good idea to have a backup plan. I could pose as a worker from the construction site” the grin on his lips gave away that he was not actually worried, but Emma was glad he would consider it for her. Hydra was not dumb, they would have at least one person on the inside. It was of most importance that they kept up appearance of an actual factory.   
“Don’t worry, Ems. Everything will go as planned. I went over all possibilities. Trust me with this.”   
“Of course I will, Steve. I never doubted you.”   
With a flick of the remote he switched off the telly and looked at his girlfriend. Fingers gliding through her white blonde hair.   
“Will you do me a favour?” she looked at him with big eyes and carefully took his hand out of her hair.   
“You look so serious. Tell me about it.”   
“This morning I took up my teaching job again. There are only a few lessons left before they break up for summer, but I would really like it if you spoke in front of my class about the war. It would help them understand and I think it would be good for you to talk about it. Not about James, but about the gruesome things you saw there. It might help them to understand and you experienced it.”   
“I was a super soldier, Emma. The normal soldiers that could be hurt easily, those are the ones you want to have in front of your class. The ones that really experienced the pain of it all, the near death experience. Compared to them I have endured nothing.” His hand carefully traced her jawline. Modest Steve. Although he had in fact endured a lot, he did not acknowledge it as bad as everyone else’s pain.   
“Well, I don’t have anyone else and I want you to do it.”   
With a sigh he muttered a “fine” and continued caressing her hair, just to move his hands gradually down over her neck to fondle her breasts. Laughing slightly at his antics she slapped his hand away. They did not have enough time for that. She had another lesson soon and being late was not good, when you were the teacher.   
“Steve, not now. I need to go in a few minutes”, she giggled, wriggled out of his grasp and kissed his forehead. Next she would take a group of teenagers to the danger room. Steve would probably enjoy that kind of training. The low whine he emitted just made her laugh even more as she left room waving a good bye at him.   
On her way out she thought about asking James to speak as well. He had lived through being captured and experimented on. Without Steve’s help he would have probably then already been fighting for Hydra. Although Hydra and the Russians got their grubby hands on him there was still ways to fix it. Especially now that he had something he cared for, considering he really cared for Miranda. A peek at her watch told her she would have just enough time to find and convince him.   
Reaching out with her mind she searched for his chaotic mind. It took her some time, she was not as powerful as Xavier, but when she really focused it worked never the less. Following her instinct she found him wandering the hallways alone.   
“James? Are you looking for something?” she asked concerned, he looked so lost whilst wondering about.   
“I am looking for someone in charge of this place.” The hostility in his voice did not faze her anymore. James did not fancy her and that was only to the extent of not accepting her help a problem.  
“I’ll take you to Xavier, he is the headmaster her and ‘in charge of the place’.”  
As the two walked side by side towards the Professor’s office she had a peek into his mind to see how well he was coping with being left here.  
“I can feel it, when you do that. I would appreciate it if you just asked me questions.” His cold tone resembled a sneer, but she knew he was just being defensive. He had been hurt enough without her poking about in his mind.   
“Of course, my apologies. Would you consider speaking before my class about the war? I know there is still quite a mess in your mind, but it might give you relief to speak about what happened to you. Also you know what it was really like.”   
Surprisingly he gave the same reaction as Steve, he sighed and looked warily at her. His lanky form seemed to fold into himself in self-defence. She could feel determination, but also unsureness from him. Strong waves of emotions rolled over her from him and she stopped in front of the double doors to the Professor’s office.   
“When do you want me to do that?”   
“Tomorrow morning. Only a few minutes, you can leave afterwards. I won’t keep you there.” With a nod he rapped at the door and she suspected that this would count as confirmation. Quickly Emma strode off as to not be late for her class.   
“Come in, Mr. Barnes.” Great another one of those, he thought to himself as he entered the office. It was a grand room with a high ceiling and high double windows. Plush velvet curtains in a deep red fell along the side of the window into a deep red puddle on the carpet floor. There was a large oak desk with a leather computer chair behind it. Bookcases lined the room and a warm fire burnt under an ancestral portrait. The person he was looking for sat in a vintage armchair and looked expectantly at him. As he sat down on the chair opposite of the bald man he sunk into the upholstery.   
“How can I help you, Mr. Barnes?” he looked at him kindly, but curious. James suspected they would have his doubts about him.  
“I would like to have something to do around here. Mowing the lawn, crafts work, anything that needs to be done.”   
Nodding the professor folded his hands and looked at the young man in front of him. They had gardeners, groundkeepers and janitors, but not giving him something to do and let him wander about the school half the day would not help his condition either.   
“How about being an assistant or a helping with mechanics. Do you know something about cars and planes?”   
“A little bit, but I adapt quickly. I tended to tanks during the war, if that helps somewhat.” Chuckling at the old memory he started relaxing a bit in front of this strange man. He knew that the professor was a mutant, but just like Emma he looked completely human. Yet here he had seen so many look like normal people and then he had also seen mutants with blueish skin, tentacles, and wings and so on. It was a strange world they lived in.   
“Well we don’t have tanks, but I am sure that our mechanic would show you everything you need to know. We have several vehicles including two jets. There are only a few personal cars and motorcycles in the garages. All our vehicles are black and have an ‘X’ on their number plate. Just go to the garages and they will surely have something for you to do.” Nodding the young man jumped up, and shouted a thank you as he rushed from the room towards the garages. Working on vehicles was even better than his original plan of finding something to do around here. 

When Emma left her classroom the sight of an angry Scott greeted her. His fists were balled against his side, his nose twitched and his hair stood up unruly.   
“What did you do with it?” he shouted at her, while stepping closer to her, as she closed the door behind her, deliberately putting herself in a confined space.   
“What did I do with what?” she asked sweetly, grinning slightly. It was just a prank. He would understand as soon as she told him about it, but she liked seeing him so wound up.   
“You know what I mean!” he pushed her up against the door staring down at her. His warm breath tingling on her nose, making her swallow harshly. “That was a cute little trick, a sorry hug to nick my keys, but I want them back Emma.” Hot anger seeped through his voice as he growled out the words at her. This blonde tantalizing witch had tricked him and nicked one of his most important possessions. His harsh draws of breath pushed his chest closer to her and he could feel her soft breasts against his hard muscles.   
“I gave it to Natasha, Scott. It was important. I would have taken one from the institute but you deserved to be at least pranked.” Pouting up at him she only then realized how close they were. Her small hand pushed against his chest, but he did not budge. There it was again. The need to toy with this man she had known half her life.   
“How important?”   
“Life and death.”   
He disapproved of her actions, but he tried to understand, she could see the tension leave his face until he only stared down at her. His warmth travelled between their bodies as he pushed her closer to the door, staring at her twinkling blue eyes and the rosy lips which he knew where soft under his touch. Her whisper brought him out of his reverie only to palm cage her between his arms.   
“Why did you do it? Sleep with her, betray me”, it had slipped from her lips before she could even think. For a split second she had thought that she had seen surprise behind his visor, but she did not want to dwell on those emotions. His composure faltered, but did not give her more room to move.   
“What do you think, Emma? You were leaving, and we both knew you were leaving for good” surprisingly calm he answered her and pushed a few strands of hair out of her face. His hand lingering in her hair, caressing her.   
“I didn’t plan on staying. I was going to do the job and come back home to you, why was that so hard to understand?” She could not help it, but it really upset her that he had decided it was not worth discussing or waiting. Their relationship had been long and steady and she just could not understand how he just threw it away. Yet now he did not look as taunting as the day before, it was a genuine talk about what they had done to each other.   
“But it was your dream, Emma. I was only holding you back. Teaching might have made you happy, but you were not using your full potential. It was always your dream to be a high class therapist. You coming home from that would have just made you unhappy. So I cut the strings. I didn’t want you to leave, but who would be so selfish?” His words surprised her. This was not what she had thought about, but on the other hand it was so typical of Scott. It had her thinking carefully about what they had done and said to each other. Not noticing his eyes drifting more often from her eyes to her lips. Suddenly there was a hand in the small of her back, drawing her closer, and warm lips on her own. His big hand traced through her curls, tugging slightly and nipping at her lip asking for entrance.   
The sudden motion made her gasp against him and return the kiss with a fever. Her hands curled into his hair, tugging, drawing him closer. Rubbing against each other, feeling the familiar heat. The kiss was hot, wet and a clashing of teeth and tongues. She felt him harden against her, felt it against her thigh as his hand drifted towards her breast, kneading it through the t-shirt.   
The hallway was deserted. Blood rushed through her ears and she hardly realized their panting and moaning. It felt like the old times, when after class he would push her up against her desk and take her. Spanking her white flesh until it burned in a rosy colour. Him taking her against the door as she waited for her students. Swearing loudly as they tried to finish as fast as possible. Raw desire flooded her, but this was not how it was supposed to be. The coldness of his visor against her cheek drew her back to reality. It had never bothered her before, but she knew now what it was like to be with Steve. Steve. Steve, who loved and treasured her, who relied on her and gave her a second chance. Yet here she was throwing it away for the sting of raw pleasure. Pulling away she tried to push at his chest again.   
“Scott, no, stop this. It’s wrong!” Surprised by the change in demeanour he let her go and watched her run off.   
Hastily she made her way back to her room, tears flooding her vision as she realized how far she had gone. Steve would know and she had to be honest. Just the night before they had discussed everything, had come to an agreement. She dearly hoped he would listen to her, let her explain. Had she really been that caught in her thoughts to let that happen? It was wrong. Scott had Jean, and she had Steve. That was the way it was supposed to be. When she stood in front of the door, she trembled and hesitated at the door. Trying to calm herself she took a few deep breaths and walked inside.   
“You’re back. How was class?” came a drawl from the living room. When she peeked around the corner she saw him spread out on the couch in only his boxers seemingly waiting for her return. Yet everything changed as soon as he looked at her and saw her bloodshot eyes and tear stains. He sat up slowly as she sat next to him on the couch, looking down at her hands.   
“What happened, Emma?” his touch burned against her skin as he reached out to her, so she pulled her face away. Harsh sobs tore through her figure.   
“He kissed me, Steve. I didn’t know what was happening, one minute he said all these things about wanting only the best for me and the next moment he kisses me!” her cry numbed his senses. He had not expected anything of this kind to happen. In front of him sat the one person he would have never thought of doing anything of this kind. Anger at Scott and his foolishness pumped through his veins.   
“Please, Steve! It was an accident. It won’t happen again, ever. I only want you” helplessly she reached out for him only to have him move out of her grasp. He stood and paced up and down the small room. Emma could feel his anger, could see it on his face. A face she had yet to learn to read.   
“I want you to go back to him and tell him that. Tell him it will never happen again. And tell him, that you only want me. Now.” Although his eyes bore through her, she really hoped she was off the hook. As she stood to do as she was told, he moved towards her. The walk towards Scott’s room was silent and uncomfortable. Steve walked a half a pace behind her, more making sure that she would not bolt than giving her comfort about confronting this situation. Softly she knocked on Scott’s door, which seconds later was opened. His face lit up as he saw her, but a deep frown replaced the smile, when he spotted Steve behind her.   
“I am sorry, Scott, but I love Steve. Before was a mistake. I only want him, and it can never happen again.”   
The soft words hung in the air between the trio. There was no force behind them, no active fight sought out. Just the giving up to Steve and letting him take the reins. Disbelief, anger, sadness and confusion crossed Scott face, making it hard for Emma to look him in the eyes.   
“Fine then, but don’t forget one thing. You responded. You wanted me. It won’t change by wishing it away.” Furiously he slammed the door shut behind him, but Emma could still hear his screaming mind. It took her some time to realize that her job had been done. It was over. Turning around for Steve’s approval she noticed that he was not there anymore and already walking back towards their room.  
“Steve, wait”, she called following him hurriedly. When she caught up to him and saw his stern face she knew that she had been wrong. It was not over yet. “Steve, talk to me. I don’t understand” helplessly she tried to reach for his hand, but he brushed it away, turned and looked sharply at her.   
“Well you should. After yesterday I thought things would be fine, but they’re not. You kissed him Emma. It doesn’t matter who started it, all that interests me is that you responded to it. Saying sorry and telling Scott those things doesn’t change that at the moment I can’t trust you. I’ll need some time to come to terms with this, Emma.” Although he had started rough, by the time he was finished his voice was soft and she could hear the hurt and uncertainty in it. He had already been a mess because of Barnes, now she made it worse. With a barely noticeable nod from her he took his leave and left her alone in the hallway. Things were different now. It was not a one-time burst anymore. If she made more mistakes now she would lose him. At that moment she realized the one thing that had been different between them from the beginning. They had jumped into it, rushing from one point of the relationship to the next and it was not working. She hardly knew the man she loved even though she knew all about him.


	7. I won't give up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! I am so sorry! I completley forgot time, I was working so much and mostly in the evening and then I was knackered on my days off, which means: motivation = zero  
> I had started this chapter Monday and promised myself I'd be finished by the end of the week and I made it! 10 minutes spare! 
> 
> this is only a filler chapter, but I needed to add some people and draw up some tension. Forgive me for not updating so long!  
> Although I am starting uni now I want to update regularly.
> 
> Also if you wish you could be my motivation! I just started a facebook page for my art, but also thought about posting updates on chapter progress and so on :)

The days passed slowly. Tony and Miranda arrived back in New York, where he publicly announced the purchase of the old manufacture. To be safe communication was kept to a minimum. They had yet to hear from Miranda and Natasha. Emma suspected that Natasha was occupying Hydra by driving around and trying to get to the data on the stick, as they had heard nothing from Hydra so far. All they had gone through at Shield seemed surreal with this cease of commotion. 

Everyday became a war in itself. Although her classes occupied her mind, passing Steve or Scott in the hallways became a nerve wrecking battle. Scott tried his best to run into her path every day or so just to look at her disapprovingly, while Steve went out of his way to see her as little as possible. Loneliness started to seep back into her mind, as she lay in bed and tried to reach out to Steve's thoughts. She had tried to talk to him once or twice, but it seemed the more she tried to calm him down the more he wanted to get away from her. Helping James on the other hand was never easy before, but now he was aiming at ridiculous lengths to not talk about himself, but about her problems. 

Her blonde hair swayed in the wind as she sat down against a tree. From here she had a great view at Steve. He was occupying the students ho had a free period by playing basketball with them. It seemed to be a tough game, as he of course allowed them to use their powers. She had noticed that he encouraged the students about their powers. Often Emma found him sitting with a student listening to their problems, listening to them talk about what they can do. Pride settled in her stomach knowing that her students now had another source to confide in, but also that Steve had found a place, where he did not stick out as much as he did before. Yet here she still sat alone, watching him, although she should be grading her class's tests. It was very distracting the way he moved and the way he interacted with the mutants. Sighing she ran her hand through her hair and tried to continue her grading. It had been a simple test just to see if they had actually listened and embraced what Steve had told them. History repeated itself too often. 

Mutants existed during the Second World War. They were not the prime target, but were equally targeted for human experimentation. There are no numbers as to how many mutants already lived during the war and in turn also no numbers about how many died. We cannot know if mutants were tested as to influence the 'superior race' or if they were regarded as vermin like the Jews. 

“Correct” she muttered and scribbled a praise next to the paragraph and marked the small mistakes in it. The other tests lay next to her on a neat pile waiting for their turn to be graded. She had promised her class to be fast about it as their holidays were approaching fast. So far there was nothing unusual about this test. Her students were just too predictable. The same as always would come to her before the end of the term begging her to let them hold a presentation for a good grade. Emma could not understand that, a presentation was a lot more work than this flimsy little test, but that was their choice she had told them often enough to study more. 

Suddenly a gush of wind blew the tests away from her side and out of her grasp. This is why we usually work inside. There is no wind there and no boyfriend dramas to distract you! With a curse she leapt up and ran after her tests, collecting them in the grass, while hoping that she did not loose anything. Counting quickly though the sheets she realized that there were three missing, but as she stood she was greeted by papers being held towards her.  
“You should be more careful with this, Emma. Isn't it better to work inside on something like this?” the words were smooth, but there was no softness in them, which was usually kept just for her. Snatching the tests from his grip she nearly tore the sheets apart. Sighing she raised her eyes to look at Steve.  
“Normally I would, but I needed some air.” 

He raised his eyebrows at her and stuffed his hands in his pockets. She could see him swallow thickly and was surprised that he did not just leave her. Her eyes fled from his as she held the tests against her chest. Steve had this way about him that made you feel tiny. It was insane how pathetic she had become to not loose him entirely. The thought alone scared her too much. Hesitantly his hand reached out to caress her face, but he drew it back with a frown on his face. 

“Come on, I'll walk you inside so you can finish those tests.” With a small nod they made their way back to where she had been sitting before, where he bent down to pick up her pencils and her bag to sling it over his shoulder. Slowly they made their way inside towards her room. As she unlocked the door he sighed heavily and held her bag out for her to take. 

“You can come in if you like, I'll be finished soon with these”, she akwardly took her bag and glanced up at him. Nervously he pushed his hands back into his pockets and shuffled with his foot. 

“I don't think that's a good idea, Emma. I'll just distract you. Please try not to let this control you. You have become quite absent. I am trying to forgive you, I really am, but it takes time and your students deserve your attention. They need it.” With a short laugh she distanced herself from him. 

“You have been avoiding me. That is not how you try to forgive someone. I understand that you want time, but don't tell me you are trying to forgive me, when all you do is push me further away.” Hurt and anger flashed over his features while he drew in a sharp breath. This had gone far enough.  
“Either you honestly try and forgive me and spend some time with me, so that I can make it up to you, or you tell me right now if I am wasting my time hoping.” Her blue eyes welled up with betraying tears, she didn't want his pity. 

A soft sigh escaped him again, as his warm hand caressed her cheek.  
“Don't cry, Emma. Please, I can't see you like this anymore. We'll have dinner together, alright? But you need to focus now. You promised them the test would be back quickly.” It stung slightly as she repeatedly bit her lip, but nodded sightly at him. His touch was warm and comforting, she had missed it incredibly. Slowly she felt her cheeks warm up as a rosy colour settled on them. Tearing herself from the much longed for touch she nodded slightly and left him standing at the door. Her students would get the tests tomorrow morning. Determined she directly sat down to work. 

In the evening true to his word Steve waited out side of the cafeteria for Emma. Together they got their dinner and sat down opposite of each other. It was awkward. 

“Did you finish the tests ?” he asked after a while. They had been avoiding looking at each other half the evening. Nodding, she stared down at her plate, where she was moving her peas about. 

“Yes, they can have them back tomorrow. Who told you that I promised to give them back early?” 

“Just about every one of your students. They really adore you.” She could hear the grin in his voice and sure enough there was a confident smirk on his face as she looked at him. A quiet laugh escaped her as she raised her fork towards him, waving it about as she spoke. “You know they talk a lot if the day is long, especially if they want something. I bet tomorrow they will be groaning about the finished test. They have us figured out to the core and use it to manipulate us.” Grinning she popped the piece of meat into her mouth, chewing with a smirk. Slowly they settled in a comfortable conversation. When Scott passed them glaring accusingly at Emma Steve just took her hand and suggested they leave as they had already finished eating. After they gave their trays back he took her hand leading her to his room a floor down from her own. 

“I thought you might be interested in what we have already accomplished at the factory.” He had rearranged his room to fit hand drawn plans all over the walls and to make room for more people to sit. Her eyes floated over the plans with dread. He would be leaving. It was not too far away, but with their situation at the moment it would be another large stone in their path. 

“How long do you think it will take to finish the building?” 

“Not long, we have many workers from the old Shield, which Miranda found and somehow talked into helping.” he paused as if sensing her dread to stand behind her, placing his warm hands on her arms. “I won't forget about you. I know you're worried, but we'll handle this somehow. You continue teaching, I know you prefer that.” Slowly he rubbed her arms up and down and she leaned into his chest sighing. 

“I am worried, that with us spending even less time with each other will destroy this for good.” It was slightly comforting that he lay his arms around her drawing her even nearer to him. His chin resting atop of her head. She could feel his soft releases of breath. After a small pause he kissed her forehead carefully.  
“That won't happen. We are making an effort for this. Even if I dislike leaving you alone here with him, I am willing to trust you that nothing will happen, so you need to trust me as well, that I will want to be near you, but won't always have the time. We'll see each other at the weekends, or when the kids are on holiday you can come spend some time with me.” It all sounded so simple, but it wouldn't be. It would be even more time spent alone, yet she could not find the effort to disagree. Turning in his embrace to face him she rested her forehead against his shoulder. Warm hands caressed her back, drawing large circles along her frame. 

“Promise me, that even if we can't see each other you will call me in the evenings, or text me.” Her small frame quivered against him, so he placed a finger under her chin to tilt her head, forcing her to look into his eyes. A soft smile graced his lips, as his thumb moved over her lower lip. 

“I promise. It will be the best part of my day.” teasingly he ruffled her hair, but then leaned down to touch his lips against hers. It was soft and warm, carefully she nipped at his lip to gain entrance. Long fingers found their way up to his hair, weaving the soft locks through her fingers. 

They spent the evening just talking to each other, enjoying the company they had longed for. Although she knew that they were only just starting to order things between them she felt warmth settle in her again, knowing that she would not be alone again. 

The next few days passed too quickly. With another two weeks until holidays the students were getting anxious to leave. Steve occupied himself with his plans of Shield, whilst Emma gave her lessons. They spent lunch together, then Emma would prepare the next lessons, then they'd have dinner together and spent the evening one way or another. Most of their time together they chose to just speak to each other, getting to know each other more. It was long overdue to know all these things about each other. She had not known about the circumstances in which Steve and James had lived before the war and how he had experienced the war. Emma was honest to Steve about her relationship to Scott and how he did not have to worry anymore, that she had enough of these games and she really meant it. Scott was a part of her past, Steve would be here future. Too soon the day arrived that Steve had to leave for Shield. His bag was packed with little bits and pieces and rested against his leg as they tried to let go of each other.

Strong arms were clutching her small body against his, while her fingers clawed themselves into his hair. It was the most passionate kiss they had so far, but it was clouded by the approaching goodbye. Tongues battling against each other, teeth clashing as she rubbed herself against him. Easily he lifted her off the floor, kissing, biting at her neck. 

“Steve.. “ gasping out her name, she arched her back moaning softly. Drawing his lips back to hers, she let her hands wander down his back, grasping his shirt, not wanting to ever let go. Too soon they could hear a car approaching on the gravel outside. The driver kept the motor running, impatiently hitting the horn, as Steve made no signs of distancing himself from Emma.  
“You need to go” she whispered, slowly pulling away from their kiss. She let go of him, giving him a soft peck on the lips. 

“I'll see you soon. Don't worry too much”, his teasing sunk under the weight of her concern, but she just smiled and pushed him towards the cab. A warm breeze brushed over her cheeks, as she watched him sit and drive away. It was nothing like those chick flicks, where someone is left behind in the rain. It was warm, it was sunny and bright. The wind played softly with her hair, as she watched the taxi leave the school grounds. Birds were chirping quietly, a bee buzzed around somewhere and it smelt of fresh grass being cut. Quickly she fled from the brightness into the manor. It was buzzing with students mingling everywhere exited to be going home soon. With a sigh she returned to her classroom. Her next lesson would be history. Although her mind was constantly on Steve she knew she had to get a grip on herself. Steve was right. Her students needed her attention. They were all family here. 

When her class turned up she was surprised by the attention she was receiving from them. They participated and worked quietly. Emma rarely saw her students this interested in what she was saying, until she realized that they where just giving her a break. Everyone knew that Steve was leaving this day, gossip spreads like a wildfire when there is nothing else to do. Of course they had many things to occupy themselves with other than gossip, but it was only one building. Everyone always knew what was going on around the house. A sad smile graced her lips as she decided to value their kindness, by letting them leave earlier and with no homework. 

After the last one left her classroom she took her bag fully prepared to have another heated discussion with James. Steve had decided that he was not yet ready to become a part of the new Shield and that he did not want to push his former best friend into something he might not want. The sight that greeted her in their usual study room tore a barking laugh from her. James was lounging on one of the cushioned chairs, with her notepad on his knee. He had one leg slung over the other and was tapping his foot impatiently. The glasses on the bridge of his nose, looked as if they were close to falling of his face. 

“Sit down, Ms Frost. We will start immediately”, with a wink he motioned for her to sit down on the leather sofa. Laughing softly she decided to just play along and sit down in his usual spot. James looked positively ridiculous.  
“Tell me about your day” expectantly he fixed his eyes on hers, resting his elbow on the notepad, while resting his head on his knuckles. Did she really do that, when speaking to him? 

Sniffing her nose slightly Emma put on the best teary puppy eyes she had.  
“My boyfriend left today. From now on we will have a long distance relationship. Do you have any tips for me Doctor Barnes? Do you know what that is like?”  
Of course he knows. He had been separated from Miranda for some weeks now. From what she gathered in his words even he hardly got any news from her. It must be terrible knowing she is on a dangerous mission. Anyone could be a traitor. 

“You could write to him. Back in the days it took weeks for a letter to arrive and Steve's just round the corner. I bet if you yell loud enough he'll be here in a flash.” With a wink he held her glasses out for her. A sad smile settled on her lips, this was so untypical of James. It was this moment Emma could see why he and Steve had been best friends. They didn't have to tell him anything for him to understand. Shakily she took her glasses and her notepad only to place both back on the table. 

“I don't think you are dangerous, James. You just had a really tough life and somehow you are making the best of it. No one here influenced you, but you seem to be making a lot of progress on your own. You don't have to humour me in coming here.” 

“It's alright. There is a difference between coping and talking to someone about what you can hardly remember.” 

This man sitting in front of her looked so much different now. He was clean and looked more healthy, this was the handsome soldier from Steve's memories. With ease he could be the most handsome man around, yet he decided to sit back and let Steve have the spotlight. She wondered if Miranda realized what a man she chose to be with, if she recognized all the good in him. 

“Would you help me with something?” the idea came to her as she remembered the soldier from the fifties. Maybe, just maybe she could give this to Steve. Give him something of his past. 

“With what?” curiously he leaned forward towards her. The way he seemed to be giving her all of his attention portrayed the boredom he felt. The next few hours they spent working on her ideas to give Steve a part of his past. They explored his memory together and she spent time doing something other than searching for James' weak spot. Eagerly he helped her with everything, quickly moving through the room as they worked. Then as their stomachs began to rumble they decided to head for dinner. After piling food on their plates they sat down together, munching away quietly, reminiscing about what they had planned.

“Did Steve ever say something about me maybe working for Shield?” 

Surprised Emma glanced at him, sighing, setting her fork down. If James worked for Shield, then he would leave as well. Yet she had no right to keep him here, even if they just had started to get friendly with each other. With a nod she folded her hands underneath her chin, biting at her lip. 

“Yes, he did, but he did not want to rush you. You can decide for yourself, if you wish to be an agent of Shield he would try and arrange that. Yet he also has to think of what the other agents might think. It was my job to clear you for Shield. Work with you until you are not Hydra's weapon, but their own. Those weren't Steve's words. They were not explicitly Fury's or Pierce's words, but I knew that they were not going to let you be the hero. You would do the dirty work for Steve, the work Steve refused. I am sorry, James. I didn't know better then. All they told me was that you were some kind of killer.” Sadly she dared not look at him in case he got mad at her. 

“I know. I knew from the beginning. It was not that difficult to figure out you know. It's not your fault. You were new to all of this. You couldn't have known.” A warm hand reached out and caressed her cheek forcing her to raise her eyes at him. 

“I am a mind reader, literally”, exasperate she looked at the man before her who tried to reason that she was not at fault “How can you expect me to not feel bad about the way you were treated. I was preparing you for this gruel, that they wanted you to do. They wanted to control you, not free you from what Hydra did, and I played right into their hands.” His thumb ran against her cheek stroking as he looked at her sadly. 

“We are both just another pawn they can move across the board. Tell Steve I want to help, if I can. I don't want to be an agent. I want to be his friend. Helping my friend. I want all of this to stop.” his sincerity touched her, as she knew he was right. They were not important in this war, they were just figures on a chess board. The actual chess players considered them replaceable. Slowly she removed her face from his hand and nodded at him. They would text tonight or speak on the telephone, she would tell Steve about James. Somehow they were going to make it through all of this. Then Steve could stop being Captain America. He could just be Steve. He could be with her. 

After dinner they both returned to their separate rooms. She pondered whether she should just call him, or wait for him to call. It was too quiet. Too lonely. Emma sat on her bed and continued reading her book. The main characters all seemed this bit too perfect. Of course they had mistakes, they had no clue what to do, but of course in the end they did the noble thing and saved the world, but that was not what real life was like. Sure they had heroes, who did that. In fact they had plenty of those. They had the Avengers, the X-men and so on. Slowly everyone with powers was creeping out of his back alley to become a hero. If that did not work out then they'd just be the super villain. Regardless if the world would be safer without them. Everyone seemed to be going crazy. Minutes passed and turned into hours. 

The next morning when Emma woke up, her phone buzzed softly against her pillow. The last time she had checked her watch it was way past midnight. Reaching out, she held it against her ear, moaning softly in protest until she heard a familiar laugh.

“Good morning, sleepy” the voice chimed through the speaker, “I'm sorry, it got really late yesterday and I didn't want to wake you.” 

“You did,” she mumbled as she tried to cuddle more into her pillow, drawing her blanket higher. 

“I know you don't like getting up early, but I wasn't sure if I could talk later. They seem to set all meetings for the evenings, which turns into very long nights.” A chuckle escaped her at his irritation. At least he was as irritated at the situation as she was, but there was no use being mad at him for such a little thing. He called, that's all that mattered.

“sorry, tell me about it, what were they keeping you up with?” A slight pause in the lane let her know that he was not sure, if it was secure to speak about it.  
“that would just bore you. Tell me what you've been up to yesterday” he said, as he completely avoided her question. So she was not supposed to know on top of it being secure information. Sighing she looked at the clock, there would be enough time for breakfast and a hot shower. 

“It was nothing special. My class was really disappointed that you left without saying goodbye in class. James and I talked about his past as usual. Oh, I nearly forgot. He asked me to ask you if he could help with anything. Not as an agent, but as your friend. I think he is ready, Steve. He just wants all of this over, as we all do” she hesitated, but she had promised to talk to Steve. It was not his fault, that they didn't have a lot to talk about. That they couldn't talk. 

“If he wants to help me as a friend, then he'd just better stay with you. Then I know, that you are always safe. If he doesn't want to be an agent, then I can't have him here. Tell him I'm sorry, but the others would object. I need to do the best for the team now.” He sounded pained, but she understood. They were just coming back to normal, but she doubted that Shield's secrecy policy helped them one bit. Steve knew this, so why was he continuing it? 

“He won't like that, Steve” she shook her head slightly until she realized, that he couldn't see her and her attempts would be brushed off. “Think about Miranda, Steve. He wants to be with her, he wants to know she is safe. You need to give him a chance to know about his girlfriend. Don't just forget about their relationship.” He could not ignore that. 

“I'm sorry, Emma, but Miranda is part of Shield. If she can and wants, then she will contact James. I can't do anything for him, if he isn't part of Shield.” The words were carefully chosen. He didn't want to offend her, but they were not only talking about James here. If she wasn't a part of Shield, then Steve would not tell her anything about his missions. He was excluding them, but why? Had they not sat together in his room discussing the best plans of action? Were those just to distract them? What was going on at Shield? 

“Captain Rogers, we are ready.” 

“I'm coming.” Although his sigh was quiet she could hear it through the phone, as he seemed to search for words. “I'm sorry, Emma. I need to go, I wish I had more time for you, but we'll talk later maybe tonight, if it doesn't get too late.” 

Disappointment flooded her veins. Of course, he would go.  
“Just text me, when you have some time and we'll talk. Remember, it's just 'round the corner. I'll visit you soon” she spoke softly, he knew of her disappointment, but letting him hear it would not be fair to him either. 

“I miss you, Ems”, before she could even respond the line went dead. He had hung up on her. Biting her lip she dragged herself out of bed. How would she explain this to James? The next time Steve called they would talk about that secrecy policy. It won't do any good, not long term and certainly not short term. With a glance at her calendar she decided that the next weekend would be perfect for visiting Steve. It was after the conference about her student's grades so she would have no tests to grade and then two weeks later she could spend her holiday there. Then they'll have enough to talk about, then it will be safe enough for them to talk. The day passed slowly as she dreaded speaking to James. He would be highly dissatisfied with her answer.

Late in the afternoon James found the blonde in the library after having looked for her everywhere. He sat down next to Emma, noticing her slight shudder. 

“What's wrong?” he looked down at her, she didn't seem to be actually reading, just staring at the printed letters.

“Nothing, James, I'm sorry, I must have forgotten the time.” staring more intently at the page, she eventually just gave up trying to read and put the book down. 

“You have been avoiding me today, Emma, I know what that is like” he looked at the small blonde, she seemed so fragile. A heavy sigh left her lips making him draw his brows together in confusion. 

“I talked to Steve, we are not part of Shield and we don't want to be. It means that we are not allowed to know anything about it, about their missions, about what's going on. I just can't understand. We ended up in this mess because Shield kept secrets, and now they are starting all over again with the same mistakes” frustrated she kicked at the small coffee table. Coffee. That's what she needed. Hiding from James was exhausting.

“So, what you are saying is that my help is unwanted, if I don't submit to Shield?” he closed his eyes, shook his head and clenched his fists angrily. She could see his nostrils flare with his released breath. 

“Well, he said that if you wanted to help as a friend, you would be here and protect me. Everything else falls under Shield, also Miranda. She can't tell you anything. I am so sorry. I don't know what is going on with him.” He reached out and caressed her hair as he stood. 

“Don't worry about it. Miranda is my obligation. Not yours. I'll stay here with you, don't worry. I'll talk to Steve myself about this. It isn't right.” 

After James walked out they never spoke of the subject again. Each day passed more slowly as the next, with Steve's calls and texts getting less each day. Her students had returned to their usual antics and tried to drive her as mad as they could. It occupied her, but it didn't change how much she missed her soldier. James hardly ever left her side, sitting in on her history lesson to see things from a different perspective. Emma suspected though, that he spoke to Steve about their chat in the library. With every day she was more unsure about driving to the factory. James would be going with her in case Miranda was back. He had only had a few text, that she was alright and still on her mission, but she expected to be back by the weekend. The car drive was the longest hour she ever endured.

The factory was in an industrial park, they had renovated the exterior in a simple style to not draw much attention. A large sign at the gate informed visitors, that this was Stark property. Stark would probably make up some story about what would be produced here. The gate opened automatically as they drove near it. There was no security or any scan as they drove onto Stark's grounds. 

“It's so quiet. It seems so unfinished. Can you imagine Stark having no form of security against trespassers?” Blue eyes found brown, confusion, but also defensiveness settling in their eyes. 

“No, I can't. Steve said he would meet us outside. We are on time, but there is no one here.” They left the car and wandered once around the building. It was not too big, more like a six story barn. She crossed her arms in frustration. This was not the way she had panned to greet Steve, she had been expecting him at the door, waiting for her, as he had promised he would be. When they had once walked around the building there was someone waiting at the front door, but not Steve. It was a tall woman, that looked quite muscular in a tight tank top, shorts and combat boots. Her dark blonde hair was drawn up in a high ponytail, which gave her a “no jokes” aura. Her face seemed slightly familiar, as she looked at them slightly angrily. 

“I'm supposed to meet my boyfriend here? Steve said, he'd wait at the front door for us.” the blonde rolled her eyes at them, but opened the front door. She seemed to disregard James completely to examine Emma. Slightly nervous under the angry blondes gaze she moved inside and looked around. Steve was nowhere to be seen. The inside of the factory was actually rather nice, the outside was so plain, that she had not expected the nice décor of the front desk. 

“Steve is upstairs. You can wait in the visitor's room down here. He'll be down, when he has attended to more important matters.” With that she spun around on her heel, walking away through some door, before Emma could even find the words to snap back at her. 

“Who does she think she is? More important matters? So I as his girlfriend am unimportant?” Rage settled in her stomach, as she tried to make out an elevator, but there did not seem to be one. Suddenly she realized that the room itself only seemed to be quite large, as one wall was completely made from mirrors. In fact, the room was tiny, with only the reception desk and two other doors. One behind the desk and one door of too the left of it. In bold writing it said “visitor's waiting room” on the door. James carefully took her arm, leading her to the waiting room to sit down. Just as they opened the door they heard hurried light foot steps and a call of “Bucky!” before a mass collided with the tall soldier. James directly let go of Emma to catch the brunette, which threw herself into his arms. There was no telling as to where James or Miranda began, they were just a squeezing mess of cuddling. A slight smile settled on her lips as she witnessed their reunion, but decided to sit down in the waiting room as Miranda had come down on her own, without Steve. 

The couple whispered to each other, kissing, caressing, holding each other. It took some time for them to acknowledge Emma again and as they did she could see that they were anxious to be alone for some time. 

“Go on, I have a whole weekend to say 'hi' to Miranda”, with a wave of her hand and a grin she shooed them away. So here she was. Alone. Waiting for Steve. Somehow she got the feeling that this would be a reoccurring situation. It took another three hours for Steve to surface from whichever depth of the factory he was in. One look at his tired face blew the anger right out of her again. This could happen, it wasn't his fault. Quickly she stood up to embrace him, feeling his warm arms snake around her, holding her close against his chest. His cheek rested against her forehead, as he rubbed circles on her back. 

“ 'm so sorry” he mumbled against her, as he nuzzled her neck. Weaving her hand through his hair she drew him closer, kissing him softly. Finally. Suddenly she felt her feet leave the ground as Steve spun her around, a small shriek fell from her lips followed by a joyous laugh. His deep laugh joined hers as he set her back down on her own feet, kissing her forehead as he ran his fingertips over her cheek. 

“So glad you are here. Sorry it took me so long. I had another meeting.”

“Its alright. You're here now.” Emma lay her hands on his chest, smiling at her lover. 

“Come on, I'll take you to my room, then we'll have some privacy.” with a grin he wiggled his eyebrow at her, making her giggle again. His warm hand found hers as he pulled her through the door behind the reception counter. There was a long hallway with several elevator, but they passed those exiting a door at the end of the hallway. Then they made their way across a courtyard to another building, which Emma had suspected to belong to another company, but actually also belonged to Stark industry. 

“The grounds are enormous. Tony is going to tell the press, that he decided to cancel his plans and just have a laboratory here, that's what the building you waited in is for. That over there are our apartments and then there is another part of the factory, which used to be just one big hall, that's where we set up Shield. We dug everything up inside the building and are back underground.” Emma listened to him rambling on about the process of building an actual working space, with training rooms and so on. They seemed to be making quite the progress for such a short time. 

“Are you hungry? We have a dining hall similar to the one at the Xavier institute. I can introduce you to some people” without waiting for her reply, he eagerly dragged her towards the dining hall. They were handed a plate each with mashed potatoes, peas and a piece of meat. They grabbed a drink each and then Steve led her towards a table, where there were already people sitting. He sat down next to the angry blonde from before, so Emma took her seat opposite of him next to James. He and Miranda did not seem to be able to let go of each other, as they talked amiably about his stay at the institute. 

“Emma, this is Sharon. She used to be an agent at Shield and she is Miranda's sister.. Sharon was away on a mission, when Hydra attacked us.” He smiled at the blonde next to him, while shovelling food into his mouth. Miranda's sister. That must be why she looked familiar. Sharon rolled her eyes at Steve and shook her head. A small grin removed her frown. 

“You eat as if this will be your last meal ever. It's really disgusting.” With a laugh she bumped her shoulder against his arm and resumed to toying with her peas. Emma watched the exchange rather annoyed. Of course she had her eyes on him. Now she knew why Sharon hat been eyeing her as they were told to wait in the waiting room. 

“I am always hungry and I didn't have lunch. My lunch dates always have something else to do.” he winked at Sharon, but then turned his attention back towards Emma noticing the already forming frown.  
“We have lunch together, usually after our meetings with the others. Miranda and the others often join us”, his explanation drew a slight smirk from Sharon as she tried to look as innocent as possible. Steve was too sweet to cheat, he was too honourable, too noble. Just too damn good for something like that. 

“That's fine, Steve. Really. You don't need to explain things to me. You work together, why not have lunch together? It's better than being alone all the time. You are just colleagues.” A smirk spread over her lips. It was a sweet victory. Oh god, four hours into her visit and she was already competing with other women for his attention. Sighing she finished her plate and took a sip from her water. 

“brilliant, I need to work tomorrow, but you can look around the village. It's cute, you'll like it and then Sunday I'll have the day off.” Somehow Emma could not share his excitement at this aspect. She had expected him to have the whole weekend for her. It's the reason she drove down in the first place. Nodding she just accepted the fact and let him ramble on about his colleagues, introducing her to everyone.

By the time they made it up to his room she could hardly stand. They hat sat for another few hours, chatting and drinking away. It seemed that the cafeteria was the only common room they had so far. In turn everyone just stayed there after dinner and chatted away into the night. Eventually someone had brought out liquor and wine to lighten the mood. She had no idea how much she had consumed after a while, all she knew was that she was not going to loose a game of snap against some idiots, who thought they could be smart. 

After loosing the fourth round of snap, by being tricked into yelling “snap” every time someone thought it, Steve decided that they had had enough. Grinning he pushed the small blonde towards the stairs.  
Emma had no time to look around his room before she was pushed down on a bed, with his form hovering above her. A moan tore from her lips as he kissed, suckled and bit at her neck. Her hands found their usual way to his hair and tugged at it eagerly. His lips moved from her neck over her collarbone, only to stop so he could nuzzle her cleavage. Giggling she looked down at him toying with the hem of her shirt. Pushing him back slightly she took the hem of her T-shirt and raised it above her head to take it off. Quickly his hands moved underneath her to remove her bra. She could see his trousers starting to tent, as he dove in to lick and kiss her breasts. A warmth spread through her body with Steve this close. She had missed this so much. His warmth, being with him. A tug at her hips, let her know that it was time to raise her hips to get rid of those pesky trousers. It was far too uncomfortable with them on. Steve didn't waste time and tore her slip down with her pants. His hot mouth found it's way to her breast again, as his fingertips moved across her folds. With a moan she bucked off the bed, clawing at the sheets in an attempt to calm her tired self. Emma felt his finger slowly penetrating her, feeling about inside her, as his thumb moved over her clitoris. She could feel the moisture from his mouth against her breast and the cold, when he removed his mouth to lick at the other breast. All while his thumb moved in slow circles against her clit and another digit entered her. 

Emma was in pure bliss. She was surrounded by Steve. His heat, his longing, his love. His name tore from her lips as she exploded against him. Her body shook, nestling into the comfy warmth she had missed and longed for for so long now. Here was everything she needed. 

Steve grinned as Emma came undone beneath him. It was fast, but for him it was only the confirmation of their passion together, and it was only just the beginning. It always was. When he raised his head at the unusual silence he stared at the blonde in disbelief. 

“Emma?” his incredulous call of her name was met with a soft snore, which was accompanied by the steady rise and and fall of her chest as Emma slept peacefully through his attention.


	8. Open your eyes

he next morning, when Emma woke, Steve was already gone. Next to her pillow lay a small handwritten note.  
' I had to go early and you looked so adorable while sleeping – meet me this afternoon around 4 outside this building. Then I'll be free for you. Love - Steve'  
It was cute, but also annoying. She came here to see her boyfriend and he had to work at the weekend. He had known that she was coming, so he could have taken time off for the weekend. Sighing she crawled out of bed, clawing her way across Steve's side of the bed. When her bare feet hit the hardwood floor a chill ran through her body, making her rush towards the bathroom. The stone floor was even cooler, but she would warm up soon. The prospect of having warm water flow over her body, cascading down her face and over her chest lightened her mood slightly. The warm water loosened the tense muscles in her back. When she stepped out of the shower stall there was a thick fog lingering around her. Quickly she dried and dressed herself to not become cold. She plaited her hair tightly and slung the wet braid over her shoulder. Breakfast then exploring. Maybe they could go look at the village together the next day, leaving her loads of time to look around Shield for the day. Maybe she could even find out what everyone was so secretive about. Hopefully she just wouldn't run into Sharon. 

Her nightly outing to the land of unforgiving intoxication did not help her find her way back to the cafeteria. She had been marching around for an hour before one of the other agents felt sorry for her and brought her to the large room. Yet when she got there there was hardly any food left. Where she assumed to usually be a large variety of food to choose from there was only toast, cheese and porridge. Even a big bowl, where she imagined fruit in, was void of any food. Frustrated she grabbed a slice of toast and made herself a sandwich. Munching away on it she headed outside to explore the grounds. She walked once along the fence to get a feeling of how large the field was. Within the fence were several buildings, two of which she had already seen. The building with the agent's quarters and the information desk of the welcoming building. The other building had a sign outside calling it “the science house”, so she assumed that's where Shield did its laboratory work. When she looked around she knew exactly how they fooled everyone. It was a Shield thing to build underground, but they had been to good at their own game. Where before there was deserted ground, too dry for anything to grow and other areas overgrown from carelessness, now there was deep green well cared for grass, as if it was mowed perpetually so that no strand of grass would be longer than the other. The trees and bushes grew and bloomed, but all of them in the same manner. It was all fake. Emma suspected they shovelled a few meters of earth on top of their quarters and planted engineered look-a-like gardens. No one had to look after them, but they met the standard of fancy you would expect from a Stark building. Yet such a large underground set up needed air vents. So there was a way in without her needing clearance, which she would not get, because Steve was keeping secrets. She wondered if Miranda told James about her mission, he would probably want to stay after this visit. 

After she had wondered about the grounds over an hour she gave up at finding the air vents. They probably found a way around them to increase security. Maybe she could chat Steve into telling her something. Curiosity killed the cat, but it was a trait she was used to, and so far the cat was still alive. Emma walked up to the office desk.

“I'd like to go look for Steve. I know he is working, but I would like to see where he works so I can bring him some lunch later.” smiling at the bored woman at the counter she put on her sweetest smile, which Steve could never resist. Glancing at Emma the receptionist just continued flicking through her magazine. 

“Sorry, no clearance card, no passing. Tell Steve to give you one and I'll let you through. I'm not risking my job for Roger's nosy girlfriend.” 

Emma glared at the receptionist for her rudeness. How dare she ? 

“Ems? What are you doing here?” Behind her stood Steve with a large bag in his hand, in a white T-shirt and sport shorts. Sweat pearled down through his bangs and down his forehead. Tired eyes glanced at her angry pose. Tapping her foot nervously she glared his direction  
.   
„I need a clearance card to actually go see you in there.“ Slight waves of annoyance hit her as he sighed. 

„Emma, we can see each other out here. You really don't need a clearance pass.“ His eyes swept over the receptionist's form back to Emma's frosty stare. With a slight nod of his head he motioned for them to speak outside. Huffing she swept past him out of the building and stopped abruptly, turned on her heel and snarled at him. 

„It's ridiculous, Steve! I hardly get breakfast because I am not Staff and don't have a card, I can't come and see you about it because I don't have a clearance card and I can't have a look around to occupy myself, when you are working on the weekend you promised me!“ Frustration laced her voice as it became louder and louder. Nothing had gone as planned, if she had stayed at the institute she would at least have gotten some work done. During Emma's emotional rant Steve's hand shot up into his hair, tugging at it as he watched the scenario. 

„Emma! You seriously don't need a pass, but if you want one that bad then I'll arrange for you to have one when you come here next time. Look, I am trying, but I can't just drop everything because you are here. I have a lot of responsibilities. That's just how it works here.“ Frowning he crossed his arms before his chest staring at her. She was behaving like a child. The glint in her eyes stays for another second, then the irritated scowl is replaced by defeat and slowly the scowl is replaced by a small pet lip. Slowly he held his hand out for her to take. 

Snuggling against his chest she was glad, that they always worked things out or tried to at least. The small blonde mumbled a 'sorry' against his shirt and took in his tense form.

“Please don't be like that Emma.. It's childish and you are usually not like that. I don't like it and it doesn't suite you. I'll give you all the time I can”, he whispered against her hair, resting his chin on her head. Strong hands caressed her back and cradled her against him. 

“It's just so frustrating, Steve. I thought I'd have you for myself this weekend and that you'd show me what you are working on. I am constantly worrying at home. No one tells me what's going on.” 

The exhale of his warm breath against her ear made her shudder. This was what she wanted, his arms around her and giving her the attention she had missed so much. All she wanted was time with him together. Instead she woke up alone. Instinctively she snuggled closer to his chest. 

“I don't want you to worry. It's why I don't tell you every little bit that is going on. You'd just panic. Can we just enjoy our weekend together? I have time now, I was just going to you up, and I have the whole Sunday for you.” 

“I'm sorry, I didn't want to ruin our weekend” her mumbling was lost, as he pulled her in for a chaste kiss. How she had missed his warm lips on her own. 

Steve placed his arm around her and they walked the grounds together. It was a nice warm and sunny day so Steve took his time showing her some of the buildings from the outside. They were heading back towards his apartment so he could change. Steve, she wants to distract you! In his flat she sat down on the bed as he took off his sweaty clothes from the gym. They wanted to look around the village together, as he had never been himself. During their short walk he admitted to spending most of his time in the Shield facility. Steve's body had hardly changed, yet there was a tenseness in his shoulders which concerned Emma. The tense muscles in his back clenched before they were covered by the fabric of a fresh shirt. When he turned to look at her, while buttoning up his shirt, a small teasing smile graced his lips. The first time she seemed to resemble the man that had left her at the academy. 

“You're drooling, Ems” he winked at her as she replied with an indignant “Am not!”. Laughing at their harmless banter he pulled her outside to his motorcycle and placed the helmet on her head. A motorcycle? That is really sexy Steve !

“Did I ever tell you about my first bike?” he asked, pulling her out of her thoughts of never having said that, but maybe she had. It was probably when they met. 

“Not yet, but you can tell me all about it”, grinning she watched as he straddled the bike and moved forwards so she could climb behind him. Her small hands found her way around his middle to hold onto him as he sped off Shield grounds.

There was something about Steve that made her believe that he was holding back something. Something kept him from opening up to her. He seemed very different than when he had left the academy. He guarded his thoughts more, although she heard the occasional slip up, she tried not to listen if that was his wish. Usually his calming waves affected her deeply, now she sensed unease and defensiveness. With little force his mind would be bare for her to read like an open book, but she tried to respect his privacy. Although he had never asked for this privacy she knew that he did not really like it when she looked into his mind. Steve drove around for a while, exploring the surrounding area. They found a small lake behind the village, which Emma thought they could go to the next day. It would be very relaxing for both of them. The lake sparkled in the afternoon sun, while one side of the shore was close to a wood so there would be some shade and shelter from the sun, if they did go there.

Afterwards they drove into the village. It was small and traditional. Emma loved it. All streets led up to one market square and every house, lamp post and fence was decorated with flowers. He stopped outside of the village, parking the bike there and then placed his arm around Emma's middle as they strolled towards the square. They took their time looking into small shops and restaurants. 

“Would you like to have dinner here later?” he asked and then reserved a table in the restaurant after she agreed. While he was arranging their dinner she had a look at a near by bakery which displayed their finest pastry and sweets in the window. A warm hand found her back, drawing smooth circles on it. Soft lips found her earlobe and nibbled at it. 

“Do you want a sweet?” 

His voice was smooth against her ear. A slight shudder ran down her spine as she relished in the sensual feeling. Turning towards him in his embrace she nodded happily and pecked him on the lips. The pink tip of her tongue speeding out to teasingly swipe across their lips making them glisten with moisture. A sweet whimper. Steve..

“Steve? Are you coming?” After detangling herself from her lover she only at the door realized that he was not following. Shaking himself he laughed and shooed her inside. There was so much to choose from, the salesperson smiled at them kindly giving them time to choose which sweet they would prefer. In the end they agreed on taking different sweets so the other could try that as well. When they had paid they went back outside to walk around the village once more. 

“I reserved the table for six o'clock so we have another hour to look around” he said as he tried to keep the cream filling in the horn. Giggling Emma bit off the end of her Éclair and sucked the cream out of the pastry. Wide eyed he watched her, whilst she grinned and continued eating her sweet. She had always preferred to have the cream seperate to the rest, resulting in her sucking it out. Playfully she stuck her tongue out at him and they sat down on a bench watching the locals go by.

“I didn't mean to snap this morning” she said as she leaned in and laid her head against his shoulder. His long fingers weaved through her hair and he brushed a kiss against her forehead. 

“I know. It's fine. You expected the weekend to go differently” he whispered as they cuddled against each other. A small breeze took up making them shiver slightly. A slow nod against him confirmed his assumption. 

“Do you want to go for dinner now?” 

“That would be nice, Steve.”

Together they made their way back to the small restaurant. They sat down at a small table facing the window. The dining area was rather small and the tables were placed in a way that you had a lot of space and privacy. It had a very comfortable atmosphere to it. The room had large windows, to make it nice and bright, but in the dimming evening there were warm coloured lamps to brighten up the room. Red wine coloured their cheeks rosy as the evening progressed. Emma felt that they were finally starting to have the time that they longed for. They talked about her class and how much her students missed having Steve around, and he shared certain aspects of Shield. Mostly he spoke of training the new agents. After Shield had been split in the attack they lacked personnel so he took it upon himself to train the new agents. Many old agents and soldiers also see him for refreshing techniques. A soft smile graced Emma's lips as he chatted on and on about those training sessions. She was still convinced that Steve would make a bloody good teacher one day, but for now he was happy with doing this. 

They chatted the night away until Steve noticed Emma holding back quite a yawn. The cold night air prickled at her skin as they drove home. Her hands warmly nestled under his Shirt. He carried her upstairs to his flat and placed her gently on the bed. Carefully he took off her shoes and jeans and after taking off his own clothes he lay down next to her. In an instant Emma had moved into his side, cuddling up against his chest. It only took them a mumbled “good night” to drift off to sleep. 

The next day the couple got up relatively early to go to breakfast, where they packed themselves a lunch to take with them. Emma had mentioned the lake to Steve and he directly planned out what they need to take for a day out. It was a nice day, the sun was burning down, but a slight breeze made the temperature very comfortable. Together they enjoyed just lying about on their picnic blanket and splashing about in the lake. Sadly time passes a lot quicker, when you are having fun. By early afternoon they were already heading back towards Shield grounds, as Emma needed to be back at the academy. James was already in front of the building, shuffling nervously, watching the bike roll up to him. As Emma got off the motorcycle she smiled softly at him. How could you not expect him to want to stay near his girlfriend. He probably wanted to ensure her safety. Maybe they would let him help. 

“Emma, can I talk to you?” 

“I'll go get your bag, Ems.” Steve informed them and rushed off to his apartement. 

“So you want to stay”, she leaned against the bike, eyes finding his, brown on blue. 

“Yes, Miranda arranged for me to stay”, he sighed, looked at her and spoke softly “Do you think you can manage it? The way home, being there alone?” Miranda really did bring out the best in him. 

“Yes. I'll send you your things. Don't worry, everything will be fine.” He sat down on the steps of the building, motioning for her to sit down next to him. 

“They want to test me. If the results are positive then I can join Shield and maybe keep Miranda a bit more safe.” He looked her straight in the eyes and then drew her in for a comforting hug. Steve may not fully trust him again, but Emma knew this was what the old James must have been like. To see this man transform back to what she imagined to be his old self filled her with pride. He was not fear anymore. He was loved. It made her think about Steve and her. She didn't want to be a change in his life and for all she knew there was none, but none the less he had been acting weird before they had their day out. Of course he was a symbol of hope and security, but he shouldn't feel as if he were the only one carrying around that burden. The responsibility he placed on himself for everyone else's doing, was going to wear him down one day. Maybe she had been too simple on him during their therapy sessions, maybe he had hid his troubles better than she thought. 

 

Heavy footsteps announced Steve's return. Emma stood and took her bag from him, throwing it in the back of her car. She was not ready to go, but she had to. Sighing Emma hugged Bucky first to let him run back to Miranda. Steve watched it slightly amused as the big man cuddled the seemingly tiny girl. James was smaller than him, it must be even more odd to see himself cuddling Emma. Emma wasn't a small woman, she had long legs and the way she held herself seemed to make her a tall woman, but next to Bucky's wide form she just looked tiny. 

“Come on, James. You already have a girlfriend, let me keep mine” he joked at them. 

“No, you don't deserve her Rogers. I am keeping her. She will only visit me from now on” with a grin he let the blonde out of his arms and winked at them before stalking off into the house. Probably to go look for his cuddle partner. 

“Do I get a goodbye cuddle?” Emma smiled at him, as he puller her into his warm arms. 

“Anything you want” he whispered in her ear and kissed her softly. His warms were warm against her own, so Emma let him take control of it. Her hands found their way around him to his back, sliding underneath his shirt, feeling his strong back under her palms. Mimicking her his hands slid down her sides, caressing her, drawing her nearer towards him. Everything about this kiss was softness and time. Slowly his tongue entered her, making her moan softly at the deepening of their kiss.

“Steve, we don't have time for this. Your group is waiting!” An annoyed huff broke them out of their embrace. Emma was seriously starting to hate Sharon. 

“I'll be there in a second, Sharon” he replied calmly, even smiling at her. 

“Fine.” Angrily she marched past them towards the other building in which seemingly the training facilities were. 

“Sorry, she's a bit bossy” he grinned at her and kissed her cheek. “Have a safe journey, text me when you're there.” 

“I will, don't worry.” Her voice steady even though she was slightly disappointed at the interruption. Her hand caressed his cheek softly. “I'll be back in a few weeks. Promise me we'll spend the whole holiday together? Let's go somewhere. Just run off for a week, have a real holiday only for us” shyly she glanced up to where her lover was already creasing his forehead in concern. Of course he wouldn't do that. 

“I'll try to get some time off during your holiday. I really want you to enjoy those few weeks. I can promise you to be there, when you get there.” His voice portraying a seriousness, that he usually only reserved for his Captain America speeches. Nodding in acceptance she leaned up to give him another sweet kiss before getting into her car and driving off back to the academy. 

 

The days passed quickly at the academy. Emma had loads to do and she suspected, that with Steve it was the same. They were slowly falling back to not speaking or texting each other, but Emma felt less insecure about it this time. Steve was just busy. A great surprise came to her a few weeks after her visit to Steve. She just came out of class, determined to get her lunch and eat outside while preparing her next lessons, when she noticed Scott leaning against the wall opposite of the door she just left behind. 

“Hey” he said nervously, she could see him swallow harshly and try to clear his throat. 

“What do you want, Scott?”, mistrust laced her cold voice. The last few times she had spent time with Scott it had been a disaster. 

“I just want to talk to you, Emma, please.” 

His gaze tore her away from the door and pulled it shut. “Fine, but I want to get lunch and sit outside. No commotions in the cafeteria.” 

With a nod he followed her to the cafeteria. They both took a lunch and a choice of fruit and then headed outside away from the academy. Carefully they sat down in the grass, quietly starting their lunch as they tried to get used to the other's presence first. Scott suddenly placed his sandwich next to himself , scratched at his scalp, which Emma recognized as one of his nervous habits. 

“I'm really sorry for what happened. Everything that happened.. I should have told you in person that my feelings had changed. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did towards you and Steve, and what happened with Jean, I am so incredibly sorry. I was a coward” pink tinted his cheeks as he spoke carefully not looking at her, but scratching at a blade of grass. 

“It's not that simple, Scott. Sorry is just a word for you. I know you. You mess up and think sorry will cut it, but not anymore. You hurt me. You really hurt and embarrassed me. In front of my new boyfriend, my students, all the faculty. What do you expect me to do? Just cuddle you like a child and say it's okay? Well it is not okay.” emotions buried under the stress of her being separated of Steve, the stress of getting her students to respect her again, her mental strength to face him and Jean everyday until she was over it. Sorry just was not enough anymore. He had gone too far. 

“Come on, Emma. What do you want me to do to prove that I am sorry? Look, I now that I was really wrong about what happened, and you know you're not a saint either, but I really miss you. You used to be my best friend and we talked about everything. See, I can even be really corny if you want that. I liked talking to you, you were a great friend, you tried helping people and usually we'd spend hours just making each other laugh. Somehow without you everything turned so serious.” He looked at her tiredly. Emma was surprised at his honesty, but he seemed to be not one pace nearer to what she said.

“Scott. I understand that, but it's not all fun and games anymore. We changed. Our relationships changed. Our lives changed. Steve's fighting a war I know about and I can't help him” tears welled up in her eyes in her attempt to make him understand, her voice moving from soothing to breaking slowly. “I can't, because he won't let me. I have no idea what is going on. We were attacked in New York and I can't even really understand why. We used to talk about everything because our lives were so intertwined. We had a relationship, we had a home, we were children, Scott. We just have no clue of the world around us because we are locked into the academy, locked into our own war, our own world. How can I just spend hours talking and laughing, when I don't even know if my boyfriend will be alive the next time I see him?” A lonely tear ran down her cheek as she tried to compose herself. The surprise of a hand brushing away her tear overwhelmed her strength and let lose a wave of tears. Carefully Scott pulled the weeping woman closer, holding her against his chest, cradling her against the cruelty of the world they lived in. Quietly he muttered reassuring words in her ear, caressing her hair, letting her give in to the fear before it exhausted her. 

“I'm sorry you feel that way about Steve, you shouldn't have to worry so much, Emma. He might not realise how much you actually worry. Please don't cry. He'll be fine. He's Captain America for god's sake. He's one of the strongest men I know.” 

“Yes, but he's only one man. Everyone thinks that because of the serum and because he is strong, fast and healthy now that he can handle the world, but he can't. How could he! He is only one man, carrying the burden of a whole country, that expects him to do certain things he might not feel comfortable with. They glorify him to be this superhero that never does wrong, but he's human. He makes mistakes. He didn't know Shield would be attacked, that Fury would die in his apartment. He didn't want all of that. It just happened and because he's Captain America everyone expects him to fix the problem. A problem to which he has no good answer. I don't think Steve likes to do these things. He does them because he feels responsible, because he was made for it and he survived because of it.” Emma stared ahead, leaning into Scott's embrace. They stayed like that for a little while longer, holding each other, caring for the other.

After that moment they shared things seemed easier. Scott and Emma returned to a steady friendship, which gave comfort to both of them. Emma decided to speak to Jean, which in turn for them meant a civil relationship. You don't need to like everyone. They often all had lunch together and Emma and Jean could compare notes and lesson techniques for their mind development classes. The messages from Steve became rarer with the day and a phone call only happened once in a while. Emma really hoped that he wouldn't forget about his promise for their holiday. She had picked out some destinations for day trips and some for longer trips, if that was possible. For the first time in a long time she could really understand why her students got so antsy when it got closer to the holidays. They were looking forward to something, just as she was. By the time the last day of classes arrived she had dozens of plans for their holiday and couldn't wait to see Steve. Directly after class was finished she rushed to her car, which in her excitement she had previously packed, and drove off to Steve. During a gas stop and food run she tried calling him to tell him she would be there soon and when he didn't take the call she texted him just to let him know why she called. 

By the time she got to Shield grounds it was already starting to become dark, but being there blew away any feelings of being tired. Quickly she hopped out of the car towards the apartments, but when she got there and knocked no one opened. Emma really regretted not having asked for a key, but it was still the early evening. He might be at the cafeteria for dinner or working out as usual. Emma marched down to the cafeteria but only found a handful of men lingering around their meals so Emma opted for the training centre. Yet when she got there she realized, that yet again she would need a clearance pass to continue. From there on she went to the front desk to the same rude receptionist, who again had no clearance pass for her. Emma's good mood was starting to dampen by the time the receptionist offered to call someone to tell her where Steve is. What she did not expect was the big, dark form standing in front of her. With a gasp she stared confused at the man she believed to be dead.

“Miss Frost, nice to see you again.” Fury said as he stared her down. 

“Mister Fury, I “ she was at a loss for words. Confusion and fear settled in the pit of her stomach. She had seen this man die. She had felt the last glimmer of his mind, or had it been a residing glimmer? She had believed this man was dead and yet here he stood and nobody seemed fazed by it. 

“No need to speak, Ms Frost. Follow me upstairs. I will give you a temporary clearance pass until Rogers is back.” He already started leaving the room as Emma finally found her voice again. 

“What do you mean until he's back?” slightly apprehensive of the answer she looked at the older man.

“He's on a mission at the moment. He will probably be back tomorrow if everything goes according to plan, but with him it mostly never does.” 

“What the fuck do you mean he is on a mission!?” she shouted at him, shattering the glass window behind herself in frustration and fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:  
> Oh my god! I did it ! I wrote it ! This took forever. I kept getting distracted, but I made it and I have a serious plan about the next few chapters and the next parts. Feel free to comment, a comment is my way of knowing if I am writing utter rubbish or if that is actually any good. This chapter is a little bit shorter because I didn't want to give it away, but I dropped some hints along the way .. hehe  
> Oh and welcome to the new followers and favourites it made me very happy! Imagine a blushing bundle of happiness squealing and telling her motivator !


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for leaving everyone hanging ! With working the whole summer, moving out from home and into a flat on my own, and starting uni there was just too much going on to write. At the moment I am on leave for another month so the last chapter of this should be up quite quickly. Then stay tuned for part 2, which might take a while again as I want to start writing a few chapters so you don't always have to wait so long :)  
> tell me what you think of the new chapter, comments are my motivation <3

Chapter 9

 

"what the fuck do you mean 'he is on a mission?' " Emma screamed at Fury. Nervously she paced the large office to which he had dragged her. It was underground, but a simple video system made it seem as if they were looking down on the valley. Fury had brought her there after he little explosion. Seemingly Steve was again away on a mission.

 

"Miss Frost, calm yourself. You are disrupting our systems. Steve is alright and will be home soon. You should go rest" his gruff voice did not calm her one bit, but she could get all the information’s she needed from his head. This primitive way of looking for answers was too slow for what she needed. She could go after him, no, he wouldn't like that. What did she care about his liking anyway? He had broken his promise. Again.

 

Emma marched up to Fury and placed her index and middle finger against his temple.   


_The young blond soldier marched towards him and gave a court nod. He stood opposite of him and crossed his arms._

_"I want to know if there are other missions than the main mission."_

_"You know Rogers that that is none of your concern. If it were, you would know about it", Fury smirked at him and turned around to gaze out of the window. The soldier was right, secrets had brought on the fall of Shield, but there was a certain lack of distrust that could prevent all reestablishments of Shield._

_"It could endanger everything, all our agents and every civilian in the area, Fury." The Captain's voice stayed cold and unfazed, challenging him. He had agreed to go on every mission to disrupt Hydra's plans, yet here he was demanding more information than was meant for him._

_"Concentrate on your mission, Captain. You are now the leader of a new team." Fury looked at him briefly. Steve flexed his fists in frustration._

_"Fine. We will infiltrate the Hydra camp and find out where they keep the chips for the hovercrafts. Do not send in reinforcement until we ask for it, if we are missing longer than two weeks then send in a spy."_

_"Is your little girlfriend not turning up or in on the plan?" Fury raised his eyebrow at his opposite. Although Shield quarters are larger than average military compounds, the gossip vine works perfectly. No news is safe. Another reason for not giving away too much information to the Captain._

_Anger flashed over Steve’s face and he turned to leave._

_"She is coming here. She will understand. Give her access to my room. We might even be back before she gets here." Steve left the office to start his mission._

 

Exasperated Emma tore her fingers from his temple. Anger boiled in her stomach at Steve who again had not felt the need to inform her about his leaving, but also at Fury and his manipulating everything. Steve had gone too far this time thinking she would cave under his self-imposed responsibilities.

 

"Miss Frost, I do hope you understand that I can't let you follow him. It could endanger the mission." Emma met his gaze with fierce anger at being held back again. She knew she could not follow him, but just waiting around would not cut it either.

  
"I know how these teams are lead, Mr. Fury. I hope my partner does so as well. Also, I expect to be informed as soon as we have news from him, and about his arrival.”

 

“Of course, Miss Frost.” With a glance her direction he then leaned down and took something out of a drawer. Slowly he placed a chip card onto his desk and slid it towards her. “This is for you. You have access to all facilities. Including the offices. I hope I can trust you with this, and that there will be no more occurrences of destruction of our buildings or threatening of my employees.” Carefully Emma took the chip card, placed it in her pocket and fixed Fury with a harsh gaze. She knew what game he was playing. He was granting her access to make her feel secure, as if she could do what she wished, as if she knew something. He was just trying to make her one of the flock, following him with the other sheep they call agents.   
  
Emma strode out the office, slamming the door behind her and leaned against the wall of the hallway. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe away the prickling of tears in the corner of her eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Opening her eyes, she was blinded by the white and empty hallway. No pictures on the walls, no windows, no warmth. Walking down the hallway a shiver ran down her spine, as she hoped for it all to be untrue. Holding on to Steve's promises was like trying to catch a snowflake: as soon as you caught it, it melts away in your palm.

 

She made her way out of the basement and away from that awful place. Snooping around wouldn't help her anymore. When he got home he would have to tell her. They would have to sort it out together. As she walked towards the car she decided not to unpack her things and to stay in a Bed and Breakfast until Steve returned. She could send him a text, then he would know where to find her. Defeated she drove away from the factory and towards the village. Emma left the car on a public car park then started asking around in the local Bed and Breakfasts for a room.  Most inns did not want someone, who could be away as soon as the next day or stay for as long as the holidays. It was a risk not everyone was willing to take, but after a while a small inn offered her a bed at a good price.

 

Then she collected her bags from the car and retreated with a small snack to her room. Emma was not in the mood for a lot of hassle, so she lay down on her bed after having eaten her snack. The room was too small and hot for her liking, so she opened the windows and lay back down again, while removing the rest of her clothing. Unconsciously she took her smartphone out of her pocket to see if there were already news about Steve or even from him. Fury would surely inform Steve about her visit and her irritation at their “new” system. In fact, there was nothing new about it except them removing all the levels of security. Fury still knew everything, Steve was still trying to find out everything and everyone else thought they knew something, when in fact they didn’t.

 

_Staying at Rosie's B'n'B - come find me when you are back, we really need to talk. Hope you are safe, E xx_

 

Cuddling herself against the pillow she stared at the small chip card Fury had given her. Cleared access to all buildings and rooms. Not that Steve had made an effort for her to get one. With a few clicks on his computer Fury was able to hand her over an access key. Steve trusted her less than Fury did. Disappointment flushed through her veins. Slowly she lay the key down on the small bedside table. The thought of Steve's distrust kept her up for hours until she fell into a restless slumber for a small while. Suddenly she was awakened by a nervous shuffling next to her. The sun was starting to rise and coated the creamy walls in a soft orange glow. With a slight groan she drew her thin blanket closer around her body and looked at the old fashioned alarm clock on her bedside table. Five thirty. Still the middle of the night. Where had the blanket come from? Had she not fallen asleep above the covers because of the heat?

 

"Good morning, I'm sorry I woke you up" whispered a gruff and tired voice from a chair across the room. Confused she sat up to look at him. There was no need for alarm, as she would recognize that voice anywhere. He was still fully dressed in heavy combat gear with his shield leaning against the chair. Steve let his hand run through his hair after raising it away from his tired face. Why had he not come to bed? Lay down next to her? When had he come in?

 

"You're back", sleep still coated her voice as she tried to focus on what to say. She wanted to be mad at him. Call him out for his mistakes, but it was just too early in the morning and he was safe. Relief washed through her tense form, releasing her. With a slight nod he got up from his chair and started pacing the length of the small room.  Tentatively she asked him if something was wrong. Steve's pacing was usually reserved for his annoyance and anger at Fury, not for her. Was he angry at her for some reason? But she had not done anything, had she? Of course she had. She had blown up a window at Shield, but surely he would not be that mad about that? Not when she had a right to be mad at him.

 

"Nothing. Not now, sleep." 

  
"Well then lie down with me." she got up from the bed, walking towards him, stopping his pacing. Carefully she placed her hand against his cheek and pressed her bare self against him. The cold metal and rough material of his gear did not disturb her. Feeling it against her skin gave her reassurance that he was really there, he was really safe. Fury had not lessened her worry about Steve. He had only distracted her from being mad at Steve.

 

"You need to stop sleeping naked with the window wide open. I didn't even need to ask for a room, all I saw from outside were the windows wide open and I knew it had to be your room." He pulled his face away from her hand and stepped out of her embrace. His hardened gaze fell away from her face as he sat down and sighed heavily. "It's an invitation to burglars and any kind of strange people. If you want to sleep naked, then at least close the windows."

 

"What? But I was hot. It's just too warm. Also, we are on the first floor. No one climbs the house walls to see if potentially someone is naked" Emma moaned at him drawing her eyebrows together in confusion. "What could happen in a small village like this? Or at the academy? It's silly Steve. What's really bothering you?" worried she sank down on the bed in front of him. The soft bed no comfort for her returning worry.

 

"Emma", he shouted at her angrily. In one fluid motion he pulled her up, stared at her and flung her back on the bed. With a shatter she heard him throw the windows shut. A crack indicated the need for a new window. A shiver ran over her body as she watched him lean his forehead against the window shard, breathing slow and deep. His moist breath creating small fog clouds on the window.

 

"Please come to bed, Steve. You're exhausted, you need a break", her whispered plea reached him faintly. After closing the curtains, he slowly took off his shoes and the heavy gear. In the darkness Emma could still see his silhouette move towards the bed and shortly after felt the bed dip on her left side. Quickly she scrambled up to her side of the bed in an effort to not anger him even more. Steve pulled the blanket up around her quivering form and placed one hand heavily on her hip.

 

"Enough of your games, Emma" he whispered harshly making her flinch under his grip. Not wanting to test his temper she tried to stay as calm as possible. He would be fine in the morning. He would recognize that he had gone too far. Whatever made him angry, they would talk about it. There was no reason to fear him. Steve would never hurt someone. Steve would never hurt her.

 

"Sleep, Steve" her whisper was met by another arm sneaking around her, while pulling her tight against his chest. No escaping him. The position was highly uncomfortable as she settled her side on his elbow.  Her head rested against his shoulder, feeling his warm breath against the nape of her neck. Slowly his breathing evened out as he drifted off to sleep.

 

Emma lay there waiting for him to wake up again and explain what happened on his mission. Her restlessness keeping her awake, not daring to move away from his hot body. Against her hopes she did not fall asleep again, Steve's grip had slowly lessened during the few hours, but she feared to wake him if she moved.  From her side of the bed she could see the chair he had sat on before, with his heavy boots lying under it. She dreaded the sight of the floor as she saw the now dried mud clinging to it. It had been dry all day before, so he must have been somewhere where it was wet. His shield rested on the light upholstery, fascinated she stared at it as the sun shone on it. It was beautiful, no one could say any different. Although Steve threw it about, worked with it, the shine it emitted and the sound it made, when colliding with something. It was definitely his most prized possession.

 

A low mumbling made her turn her head back towards her partner. Strands of Steve's blonde hair fell in front of his eyes whenever he slept. He always looked so peaceful when he slept. Not now, he still looked tired.

"Sometimes I forget, Steve" she whispered quietly against his seemingly still sleeping form as she lay her head down against his chest. Her small hand rested on his chest, where she supposed his heart to be.

"forget what?" his sleep drowned voice whispered back at her,

"That you are still hurting, that you are just a broken man out of his time. I failed you", tears started pooling in her eyes at the realization. She had been hired to "cure" his depressions, but she had let him go, blinded by their feelings for each other. Distraction from the depression that was all it was. She had not done her job right.

 

His eyes fluttered open against the bright light. Carefully she reached out and let her finger run through his hair. His forlorn eyes locked with hers, as he slowly lay his hand against her cheek.

  
"It's not your job anymore. I can do this; you just need to trust me" he shifted his weight to draw her in closer to his form. "I can make us happy, I just need some more time."

 

"Time is not what you need, Steve..." hesitantly she placed her hand on his cheek. "We need trust and being together. Time without a change is worth nothing for us. It’s also not your job to make us happy. I used to be your therapist. I shouldn’t have let you continue without the therapy sessions. Even now, I am your girlfriend. You should trust me with your problems, I should be helping you cope." 

 

Steve looked at her, watched her small frame move with her shallow breathing.  She could see him processing what she had said, but they still needed to talk about a lot. If they wanted to work, then they would have to sort out these little things that were destroying their relationship.  Carefully Emma moved out of his grip, sat up and moved the blanket away. First they could get ready and get food, then they could speak about what was wrong with their relationship.

 

Sighing Steve also got up from the bed, and together they got ready for the day in silence. She dressed in a light yellow dress with white polka dots, while Steve had to change into his combat gear again. Slowly he lifted up the shield and fastened it with the magnet on his back.

  
"I should go back to Shield so I can change" Nervously he scratched at his neck, a slow blush creeping into his cheeks. "I don't want people to run around gossiping or worse, worrying that there's danger near, if they see me in combat gear." With a small nod she motioned for them to leave the room. The hallway of the bed and breakfast was small and traditional with creaking floors, heavy curtains and family portraits. Emma locked the door up behind them, then informed the front desk about the broken window. They then took her car to Shield after stopping at a local baker for breakfast. silently they listened to the radio, as the news came up.

 

_A ship on its way to Panama was found this morning sunk in the Gulf of Mexico by a search helicopter. Divers are looking for survivors. No one is yet sure, if it was an accident, or if something happened on this ship. Supposedly it was transporting for Dray manufactures. The ship was reported missing this morning at 6 am, after the communication had been down for several hours. The CEO of Dray manufactures Louis Del Aro will hold a press conference at 2 o’clock this afternoon._

 

He clenched his fist, rolling his shoulder. The news and his reaction to them made her feel unsure about his involvement. Maybe Steve had something to do with that, or maybe she was reading too much into his reactions. He did not look tense, but a slight scowl had settled on his lips as he stared at the passing greens.  Reaching out, she lay her hand around his fist, opening it carefully to take his hand. Hardly anyone was on the road, which gave her the chance to drive more relaxed without being rushed by other people. The car rolled towards the gate, only stopping for a second for the gate to open. Then she slowly maneuvered the car towards a parking slot.

 

Together they made their way upstairs and entered his small flat. His flat was neat and tidy just as she expected it from him. His experience from the military still very prominent in this aspect of his life. They had taught him to be tidy, to be fast about his cleaning. When there was something lying about it was usually Emma’s things. Steve tried to hold on to these aspects and Emma saw no reason to discourage him. The small things that gave him the feeling that he is no stranger in this new world, those were the important things.

 

“Can we talk about your mission? About why you didn’t even send me a text, even after Fury asked you about me.” Emma sat down on his bed, as he moved about shedding his gear.  He took off his clothes, then moved towards the bathroom, leaving the door open. Sighing Emma followed him and sat down on the toilet lid, as he stepped under the shower.

 

“There’s nothing really to discuss. I know I should have at least texted you, but there was no time.” Hot steam filled the bathroom as he scrubbed the sweat and grime off his body. Emma crossed her leg over the other and leaned her elbow on it. Although the sight of his body usually made her imagine things, all she could focus on now was his tired voice.

  
“Steve, I saw Fury’s memory of that day. Just a ‘Sorry on a mission’ would have cut it. I would have been a bit miffed about it, but I would have understood it better than not knowing at all what is going on. This is what we fight about all the time. You don’t tell me things. I understood not to ask about Shield affairs until you are ready to tell me, but at least tell me when you are leaving”, her plea met a strained sigh.

 

“I know, Emma, I know. I’ll try and remember that.” After a short pause, his voice turned slightly bitter. “What about not listening to other people’s thoughts anymore? Do you listen to mine? I told you, that I don’t want that.”

 

“Steve, I don’t listen to your thoughts. I promised you that. Why are you so defensive?  I only listened to his thoughts, because I don’t trust him. Fury manipulates everyone around him, he keeps everyone calm by giving them slivers of information. Everyone thinks that he knows something, but they don’t. I needed to know what is going on. That you are really on a mission.”

 

“I am not defensive! I just don’t want your nose in everything. How can you be so disrespectful to other people’s business? Never EVER pull off a show like that again. You embarrassed the both of us yesterday.” Through the fog of his hot shower she saw him lean heavily against the tiles of the shower stall. His large frame shaking. Although the hot water should soothe his tense muscles, he looked more tense than ever.

 

“Please come out of there. Tell me what’s wrong?” softly she stood up again, walking towards the shower stall, then pacing back. His pausing made her take off her shoes and clothes. Carefully she joined him under the shower, lay her small hands on his back and started to knead out the tension. Her skin turned an angry red as the hot water beat down on her.

“You could just see for yourself, why do you even bother asking? I bet you already did”, although his voice was rough, he did not push her away. He let her knead his back, but the tension never really left him.

 

“I promised you I wouldn’t” she whispered in his ear over the beating of the water.

 

“Do it, I want you to”, defeated he turned around in her embrace, then looped an arm around her and turned off the shower. The cubicle seemed smaller now with him crowding against her body. She opened the doors, they stepped out. He took a large towel off the rack and softly rubbed her dry, wrapped the towel around her and picked up her dress from the floor to hang it on the bathroom hanger.

 

Slowly Emma picked up her underwear, put it back on and passed him the damp towel. With a slight nod towards the bedroom he dried himself off, then walked out and put on a pair of briefs and a T-Shirt. The material clinging to his slightly damp skin, proving to Emma that he never lost the tension. Heavily he sat down on the bed, while Emma kneeled next to him, placing her fingers on his temples.

 

_When Steve left Fury’s office he made his way directly towards the jet. Sharon was already waiting in it in combat gear. Natasha sat at the head of the jet, preparing to take off. Several agents strapped themselves in where they sat. Everyone prepared for this new mission they were so unprepared for. After the disaster on the other Hydra ship, where Natasha had nearly cost them the mission, they had no chance of knowing what would happen. Sharon and he sat down, strapped themselves in and waited for the take off. It was easy to work with Sharon. They were on the same page. No different missions from his. Quietly they discussed their plan of attack. Steve suspected that Dray manufactures covered the import of supplies to finish the Hovercrafts. Slowly they were running out of time to stop Hydra from launching their genocide program._

_“Steve, I found it. Prepare to jump, people.” Natasha shouted above the noise of the jet itself. One by one the agents released themselves before jumping out. Sharon jumped first, Steve would be last to go. These men and women were his responsibility. This time everything would run smoothly._

_One by one the parachutes opened and Steve hoped that every one of them would land safely in the water just as planned. If only one of them landed on deck or hit the ship, it would be crucial. As soon as he hit the water, he looked around for familiar small lights in the dark. They had trained this. Missions in the dark, climbing up a slippery surface. Stark had invented magnets to make climbing the side of the ship possible. He had listened intently to Tony’s ramble, but all he really gathered was that with the help of magnets they would be able to climb the ship. He envisioned it like the old comic strips of thieves climbing walls with suction cups._

_When they reached the top deck Steve motioned for Sharon to take her team downstairs, while another agent took a team round the other side. He would stop the ship and disconnect the communication systems. The ship seemed oddly quiet for a Hydra transport.  On his way up to the control room there were only three guards. Even before they noticed his presence he had them down with a hard blow to the back of their heads.  Yet when he got to the control room he altered the other teams. There was no one there. There should have at least been someone steering the ship. Nothing._  
  


_“Something is wrong; the ship is too empty. Update me on your situations. Now.” His earpiece crackled quietly._

_“hardly anyone down here either. We’ll update you as soon as we find something” Sharon whispered into her microphone, before a similar news came from the other team._

_Quickly Steve disconnected the communication, stopped the ship and then ran down to meet the others. Why would Hydra not guard something so important to them?_

_As fast as he could he rushed under deck. Empty hallways seemed to drag on for ever as he searched his teams. His heavy footsteps echoed loudly in the otherwise silent ship. When he turned a corner, through a large door, he was greeted by a large cargo hall. Underneath him stood the rest of his agents. Carefully he went down the stairs towards his team. All of this made no sense. There was nothing there. No cargo, no watchmen.  Sharon stared at him worried._  
  
“Did you have luck finding anything?” tentatively she moved forwards, placing her hand on his arm. Worry etched itself deeper into her eyes as he shook his head.

_“Nothing. We need to get out of here. Something here is a trap for us, even if we don’t know it yet. Natasha, is there any other plane on your radar?” Nervously he glanced around, then motioned for his team to follow him._

_“Nothing, Captain. Everything is silent. Not even another ship.”, came a concerned voice after a small while. Natasha must have triple checked everything to be sure. He could see the team starting to worry. Something there was a trap for them, but as long as they didn’t know what they might not make it out alive._

_“Sharon, take the team on deck and to Natasha. I’ll double check everything down here. Maybe you missed something.”_

_Before Sharon had the chance to reply he took off down another hallway. Every cabin on the way was empty, every office, every little space deserted. This ship was a distraction, or a trap, but either seemed weird. Sending out an empty ship would be too expensive. How could their information have been so wrong? They had worked out everything, he himself had made the plans. They had tracked every little piece of information. There was no way that Hydra could get the engine parts of the hovercraft other than shipping them, and this was the right ship. No other ship except the HB1945 had enough storage room for such large parts and was fast enough for their plans. They couldn’t even have switched the ships, because the HB1945 is due in Singapore in a little under two hours.  They had checked every aspect? How could it have gone so completely wrong?_

_Even if this were a trap, then what were they waiting for? They were in, they have been for 7 minutes now. Nothing had happened, or had they missed something? Steve glanced into every room, checked the kitchen, the storage. No one there. A deck lower were rows of cabins. Some beds had been slept in, yet hardly any cabin held mementos of family and friends. There was another door at the end of the hall. Captain’s cabin probably. With long strides he pushed the door open. The insides of the room made him shiver in fear. Every wall was plastered with pictures. Pictures of Emma, of Bucky and Miranda, Sharon and himself. Pictures at the Xavier Institute, pictures at the new Shield building. They had been a step ahead of them all the time. They knew everything about them._

_But this couldn’t be all. There had to be something there. Anything. In haste he searched the desk, tearing through papers and pictures, ripping open the drawers. A quiet whizzing tore his concentration away from the desk. Searching around he noticed a small camera at the ceiling. Steve stepped closer to make sure that he was not fooling himself again. A loud beeping tore him back to the job at hand, his eyes roamed the room._

_03:45._

_As fast as he could Steve ran from the room. No one would notice a clock as a timer._

Emma slowly slid her fingers away from his temples and broke her connection to his mind. He had made it out. Carefully Emma wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself tightly against his chest. She could feel him deflate under her touch. The exhale of a soft sigh tickled her neck.

  
“that’s horrible, how did they get all those pictures?” she whispered against him, worried for their safety, the safety of her students, Steve.

 

“I don’t know. I know nothing anymore” his mumble was not lost as he gathered her in her in his strong arms. He buried his face in her hair, stroking large hands over her back. “I don’t want you to leave the windows open at night. I don’t want you here, or anywhere else where they might attack you. You are not safe near me” although his voice was soft the demand was clear as day.

 

“No, Steve. We can’t run away and live in fear forever” she stared at him and pulled herself out of his embrace.

 

“Emma, how can you not understand?” with an annoyed sigh he got up from the bed. They were discussing the same things again and over again. Turning his back towards her, he started dressing himself for the day. 

 

“Oh, here we go again, Steve. I already told you that I am not afraid of Hydra or any other weird organization hell bent on killing you. It won’t happen. Simple as that. We cannot live our life in fear. I won’t let that happen to you again. You have spent enough time like this.”

 

“Emma! I already told you, I am not willing to risk your safety. You are going home. Today”, Steve yelled at her. Frustrated he ran his hand through his shaggy hair.

 

“What!? Are you kidding me? I am not going home!” her scream tore through the room. Shivering she stood up and quickly pulled her dress on. Angrily they faced each other.

 

“Yes, you are.”

 

“Steve this is stupid! I came here to see you! We hardly see each other anymore!”

 

“Emma, I am not risking your safety for a holiday!”

  
“No one spoke of a fucking holiday! I am at school most of my time, you are here! We both work full time! This is the only time we see each other and you promised me that you would spend time with me!”

 

“That was before I knew that Hydra had spies everywhere! That they knew about us and where to find you!”

 

“Of course they knew about us! I was at Shield; we were already dating at Shield!”

 

“But how could they know about your school?”

  
“I don’t know!”  she yelled back.

 

“We are not discussing this any further. You are going home. Today.” Without letting her say another word he strode out of the room. Tears of frustration rolled down her cheeks. With long strides she followed him out of the apartment.

 

“Where are you going?” she yelled after him.

 

“Training. I can’t do this now. Go home, Emma.” His cold voice made her stop in her track, watching him leave.  A soft sob escaped her lips as she slowly went downstairs. She wouldn’t go home. He would calm down in a little while and they would talk about it. Like they talked about it before. Everything would be fine, he just needed a little time to calm down.

 

Emma walked down the hallway and out of the building. There was a soft breeze, so she decided against taking her car. Slowly she walked back towards the village and sat down in a small diner. Gloomily she stared ahead, as the elderly woman came up to her to take her order.

 

“What can I get you, dearie?” she asked cheerily. Bright rosy cheeks, a big smile and almond formed blue eyes leaned down towards Emma, while wiping off a beefy hand on a light blue frilly apron.  Although small stains decorated the apron she had her hair neatly curled, with small earrings and a matching pearl necklace to decorate her otherwise chunky appearance.

 

“just a coffee”, she sighed. Sadness clouded her vision as she thought back to Steve’s angry words, his ignorance and boldness. Always the same old story, the same things they fight about. Somehow she hardly recognized the man anymore.

 

“Dearie, trouble always seems less bad with a piece of my special chocolate cake. Shall I bring you a piece?”

  
With a slight nod Emma acknowledged what the waitress said, but could not care less about it. She was just here to give Steve a few hours of space, then they could leave for a few days. Be alone. No Shield or Hydra on their backs. Just a small holiday, even just a day out or a day in the village. Everything would be fine, as long as Steve took some time away from Shield. Just to calm down. While Emma hung in her thoughts about possible ways to get Steve to agree to some time away the waitress brought over a large cup of steaming coffee, with an extra dish of cream and sugar. Then she placed a floral plate with a large piece of chocolate cake and custard in front of her. 

  
“Eat up, everything will see brighter after that sugar bomb”, she giggled softly, leaning the try against her heavy bosom. Emma gazed at her for a second, confused why she was still standing there looking at her expectantly.

 

“Go on, try it!” With a kind smile she urged Emma to try the sugary goodness. Emma had to admit, it was a fantastic cake. Extremely chocolaty and spongey, not too hard or dry, and the custard gave it just the extra little kick to make it one of the best things Emma had ever tasted. She emitted a soft muffled moan of delight.

 

“It’s so good” delighted Emma munched on her cake, devouring the whole piece while disregarding her coffee.

 

“Lovely! You know dearie, some problems always seem worse on the surface. I don’t know why you were so upset, when you came in here, but I know that you are too young to look so exhausted.”

 

“My partner has a difficult job. Everything is unsafe in his eyes. So unsafe that he is scared to spend time with me although we hardly see each other”, she sighed heavily, sipped at her coffee and finished off the cake.

 

“All men are scared. Especially with a pretty little thing like you. You don’t want to disregard his fears as they might be reasonable even if it sounds a bit extreme. Talk to him calmly. I am sure you will think of things to do”

 

“But he wants me to go home, I don’t live here. We really don’t see each other a lot” Frustrated Emma stared outside again. A deep frown settled on her lips as she thought about going home, going back to the academy, being alone.

 

“Well then convince him that going home is not the safest option. If he really is concerned about your safety, then that is your ace” with a wink the lady turned away from Emma as a guest hollered at her for more coffee. With a booming laugh and a wave of her tray, she fetched the coffee pot and went to refill the customer’s coffee. Most people in the small diner seemed to be regulars, it would explain the way they spoke to the waitress.

 

Maybe the waitress was right. She could convince Steve, that she wouldn’t be safe alone at the institute and she would be alone. Jean and Scott were away on a holiday, Ororo and Xavier took the remaining students on a holiday down the coast. Her safety wouldn’t be guaranteed. Steve wouldn’t like that. Hydra had pictures of her at the institute. It was so simple, how had she not thought of that before? Of course Steve’s fears were not figments of his mind, after what they had done to James she should have expected such a reaction.  James and Miranda. She hadn’t even seen them yet, she would have to ask Steve about them, when she got back.

She waved at the lady for the bill and asked for another piece of that cake to take home for Steve. He wasn’t such a sweet tooth as she was, but she was sure he would enjoy that. The rich chocolatey taste with a nice glass of red wine could be the start of a wonderful evening.

 

With the small box Emma made her way back towards Shield. Her dress swayed around her legs, as she walked with a fast spring in her step. New hope of some time spent together settled in the pit of her stomach. A soft smile graced her lips as a slight breeze swept through her hair. Blonde locks bounced on her shoulders as she jumped up the stairs to run into the building. Now that she had an access card all she had to do was whizz it through the machine, wait for the little light to turn green and run in. No more hassle with that horrible woman at the front desk.

 

Quickly Emma ran down the hallways, to a lift and took it down to the seventh floor.  The seventh floor was all big rooms with training facilities. There was a running track, climbing walls, boxing squares, everything one could think of. Emma knew this floor was one of the most important to Steve. He must be very glad to have it. She suspected he would be in the boxing area, so she disregarded all the other rooms. When she found the door marked “boxing”, she could hear a loud moan echo even through the door. Probably one that hit the matt against Steve. Not taking more notice of it she opened the door prepared to speak to Steve about their holiday again.

 

Yet the moan was not one of surprise or hurt, but pleasure. Emma stood frozen in place as Steve and Sharon writhed against each other on the matt. His naked chest glistened with sweat. The loud sound of the door falling into its lock startled him into raising his eyes to hers, as she stared at the sight in front of her.

 

“Emma”, shame, fright, surprise coated his voice as he halted in his movements and swallowed. Suddenly his throat seemed so tight, that no other words could follow with an explanation.


	10. These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

In a daze Steve watched Emma run from the room. A soft moan tore his eyes back down to the woman lying on her back on the boxing matt. Her golden hair fanned out on the matt, while she reached out for his face. Golden hair. Not white blonde. Swollen red lips, not pouty pink. Startled he jumped up away from her, reaching for his clothes. Stumbling around to dress himself.  
“Steve?”, confused Sharon sat up to stare at him, “what are you doing?”   
“I need to follow her, what if she hurts herself?” Quickly he sprang from the matt and ran towards the door.  
“Steve!” she shouted after him, his name made him stop at the door to stare at her. His forlorn eyes seeking out hers. “It’s over, Steve, no more hiding. Isn’t that good? She’s not your responsibility anymore.” Her soft words tore a glare from him, as he left the room to run after the woman he hadn’t meant to hurt.   
As fast as he could he ran outside, still only half dressed. The parking lot was empty, then he wouldn’t have to check the apartment. Barefooted he ran the dusty street towards the village. There was no way he would be able to convince her of this being just a mistake. He had seen her with Jean and Scott, he had seen her broken before. This was his fault, and now her safety was at stake because of him. Emma would never again trust him. He hoped that she would still be at the B’n’B they had spent the night at. She would need to collect her things. He just needed to be faster than her. Pushing himself even more, drawing harsh breaths of frustration. Hydra was everywhere, he couldn’t let them catch her on her own. They would hurt her, just like they hurt Buck.   
He did not stop to notice the curious glances the village people threw his way. There was a car in the parking lot of the B’n’B. A white car. Not Emma’s. He tore open the door, and moved forwards to the reception desk. Fighting against the wall of stuffy air, that greeted him as soon as he stepped inside the old building. Heavy curtains blocked all the light, except one small sliver of sunlight. He could see the dust fly in the small sliver of light. Why Emma would choose such a horribly old and stuffy place to stay in was a mystery to him. The young woman behind the counter was typing away on a keyboard taking no notice of him. Annoyed he started wrapping his fingertips against the headboard, clearing his throat several times to gain her attention.   
“I need to know if Emma Frost checked out already”, irritated he glared at the young woman. She seemed to be taking her sweet time to check the register.   
“Sorry, I cannot give you any information about our customers.” With a bright smile she looked up at him. Anger seeped through his veins, boiling his blood as he tried to stay calm and not tear this woman’s head off.   
“She is my girlfriend! Here, I have pictures of us!” His large hand searched his pockets for the phone Emma had explained to him just a few weeks ago. It felt like so much time had passed since then. Frustrated he glared at the woman as his pockets turned out to be empty. He had nothing to prove who he was. He couldn’t even tell her which room Emma had stayed in, because he hadn’t really taken notice of it in his frustration at her lack of safety.   
“I am sorry”, with a small smile she shook her head and continued to hammer away at the keyboard.  
Frustrated he ran out of the building. Where could she be? She would go home. The academy. He could call them. Steve turned his back to the Bed and Breakfast and took off back towards Shield. There outside the building stood Buck with his arms folded. Warily James watched Steve come closer, barefooted and without a shirt on.   
“Have you heard anything from her?” he asked tentatively as he approached the man. He shook his head as they turned towards the flats to go up to his room. The silence between them tensed with every passing minute. He didn’t know how to explain to Buck what happened. He wouldn’t understand. He had changed so much since they were friends.   
“So what happened?” James asked hesitantly. Inside Steve slowly opened his cupboard and carefully dressed himself.   
“I ..”, he sighed, “Somehow I got involved with Sharon, and Emma caught us.”   
“You cheated on Emma?” incredulously James sat down on the chair and stared at Steve. Nervously Steve ran his fingers through his hair. He huffed frustrated.   
“Emma and I had problems for a while now. It’s just so difficult being Captain America and keeping her safe. They’ll want to take her away, just like they took you away.”  
“That doesn’t give you the right to do that to her! What were you thinking? You couldn’t even talk to dames, when we were younger. Just ‘cause society changed, doesn’t mean you can do that to a girl.”   
“Don’t talk to me all high and mighty. You are only just remembering who you were.” Irritated he stared at James, then sat down sighing. “I’m sorry. Sharon is so much like Peggy, Buck. She looks so much like her, but not just that. She is strong and determined, she wants to change things.”  
“Peggy would be ashamed of you right now. She loved you because you were decent then and you didn’t behave like a man full of himself. Now go and do something about it, because right now you hurt two women, who both believed that you had feelings for them.” James angrily got up from his chair and stalked out of the flat muttering to himself. Steve had no right to treat them that way. When had he become this person?   
Knowing Steve’s behavior of the last few weeks he wouldn’t move fast enough, so James marched towards Fury’s office. Fury had eyes everywhere he would be able to tell him where Emma had run off to. If Steve was right about her becoming a target for Hydra, then they needed to know where she was. As he stepped into the elevator a surprised Sharon moved to step out.   
“What are you doing? You are not supposed to go underground. You only have access to the living arrangements and the training field.” Her stern voice did not betray the smug grin on her lips.   
“I can go wherever I wish. I have access to all floors. Shouldn’t you be in a corner weeping?”   
“Oh why would I do that?” she laughed at him and stepped out of the elevator.   
“Because Steve doesn’t love you. He loves Emma, but confuses you for Peggy. He won’t ever feel the same for you” he sneered at her, his hand reaching for the buttons of the elevators.  
“Ah, that’s what you are talking about. Well, don’t you worry about my feelings. Steve knows exactly who I am and he started it. I didn’t do a thing.” Quickly she spun on her heel, leaving him standing there alone.   
Irritated Bucky punched in the buttons to continue his way to Fury. Sharon as playing some game and he would find out what it was. Steve’s weakness had never been Peggy before. Peggy could take care of herself. The first time they met Peggy punched another soldier right in the face and didn’t flinch. She was a strong woman with strong beliefs and she would have never stood for this. As soon as he approached Fury’s office the door opened so he could march right in.   
“I need to find Emma. Steve made her run off” exasperated he waved his hand about to motion his urgency.   
“I already know what happened. Gossip travels fast even in spy agencies. Now, tell me why it is so urgent to find a run off mutant?” Fury did not look up at him from his desk, but kept on swiping things with his fingers on a tablet in front of him.   
“Because Steve thinks she might be a target. Hydra would have good use for a mind reading mutant that knows her way around the Shield headquarters.” He snapped and slammed his hands down on the desk. The whizzing sound from his arm seemed louder than usual, but his eyes stayed focus on the man before him. Fury lazily raised his head to look at him unimpressed.   
“Now, sit down James there are some things we need to talk about. You are right, Emma is in fact very important and we don’t want Hydra to have her, but you can’t expect her to want to come here again.” Fury stood slowly from his chair, as James sat down. Worriedly he twisted the hem of his shirt.   
“Emma is a young woman who just had her heart broken, but you are a young man who survived so many terrors. I imagine you want to keep such a lovely young woman away from the people that treated you so badly. As you have now had time to adjust to your new surroundings and seem to be in a stable position I would like to offer you a certain job here.”  
“I am not going into the field unless necessary. I can’t be the Winter Soldier again and I am not risking Miranda’s safety.”   
“Miranda seems to be quite safe for now. At Stark’s side she can gather intel and is more of a recruit than anything else. She is safe. No, I was thinking more of a desk job for you. One which will settle your worries about Miranda and also Emma.” James looked up at him, a desk-job wouldn’t be bad. He wouldn’t kill anymore. He had spent half his life locked away and killing for someone and something he didn’t believe in. A desk-job really didn’t sound bad.   
“What kind of desk-job?”, to continue his curiosity Fury just motioned for James to follow. Together they left the office in silence. Fury opened a door only a few offices away from his own. It was not as big as Fury’s, but quite spacious with only a single desk and chair in the middle of the room, a leather armchair next to a bookcase and a whole wall lined with monitors. On the desk lay three files each with a picture attached.   
“This would be your office, if you take the job. We want you to observe several agents outside of Shield. Just to keep tabs on their safety and whereabouts in case we need them.”   
“So you want me to spy on them?”  
“Yes and no. We want you to watch them. Keep track of where they are going, just in case someone else thinks it’s a brilliant idea to pick them up. I think three will be enough for the beginning. They are for now our main concern.”   
James went around the desk to look at the files. The first one with a picture of Miranda attached to it. Her serious expression made him grin slightly as he could imagine her irritation at being photographed. It was a slim file of only her reports from New York and her personal information in case something happened to her. The next file was equally slim, as it only contained background information and reports of James’ mental health. Grinning from the small picture was a happy Emma from the day she must have joined Shield. The last folder was quite thick. The tags on the side let him know that it contained mission reports, reports on his team members, mission applications and so on. Steve’s emotionless expression on the picture didn’t surprise him.   
“So you want me to have an eye out for my friends?”   
“I want you to look after them, Barnes. The hard truth is that Emma’s evaluations of Steve’s mind are crap. She did a good job in the beginning, but then they fooled themselves into thinking they could work around him being scarred. I fear that the Captain is slowly losing control over the fiction character he himself created. You seem to be getting along quite well, but you were a soldier, and you are getting restless. I can’t let you go after either of them, so I am letting you look out for them. Can you do that?” The seriousness with which Fury addressed him made him straighten his back, as he thought about the offer. It was a good offer, he had no place in the field anymore, but he could take care of his friends this way. He might be able to warn them from certain things and might be able to help them more this way.   
“I’ll do it. I want to help”, his answer didn’t seem to take Fury by surprise. As he nodded with a slight, knowing grin.   
“Good.” He turned to leave the office, but then turned his head, to look at him again. “But Barnes, you might want to consider keeping selected observations from the Captain. It might not do him good to know too much. Considering he might put one of your subject in danger, if he appeared at the wrong time.”  
James swallowed hard. Keeping things from Steve might just ruin their friendship even more, but Fury was right. If Emma was a potential target for Hydra and Steve meddled in at the wrong moment they could be risking both their lives. Sighing he nodded, while sitting down at his new desk. Arranging everything wouldn’t be too difficult, most of his time he would sit there and stare at the monitors, while his friends lived their lives out there. He heard the heard footsteps leave his office and a soft thud as the door fell close. His first task would be to find Emma. He knew where Miranda was and with a bit of rigging the system he could probably be let into the camera system of the Avengers tower. Even if he has to ask Jarvis for permission. If Tony could observe all of them then they should be able too.   
James settled down in his new working space, reading the folders given to him, preparing himself for what he had to do next. The system was complex and he might need help to understand all of it, but that shouldn’t be too difficult. At Shield they had loads of brilliant minds at work and one of them would surely explain a ninety-year-old assassin what the hell he should be doing. The whole internet and smartphone thing hadn’t phased him as much as it had Steve, because although he was frozen most of the time sometimes they had to get him out and then he always had to get used to new technology. It wasn’t easy, but it became easier each time he was unfrozen and the more time he spent being frozen and awakened the less he was surprised at what was new. Sure, when he and Steve were teenagers and young men ready to go off to war he wouldn’t have dreamed of the things that they had now. Telephones without a chord, electricity everywhere, the internet. The internet must be the best of it all. It makes so many things simpler. Not having to leave your house, but be able to buy things, studying, exchanging ideas or just getting to know new people. So helpful.   
Steve was different. He had trouble accepting change, while also not being able to accept if things seemed to just be a certain way. His standing up to bullies, just went too far when he joined the army, but without him James might not have survived the initial tests they were preparing to put him through. Steve could just be difficult. Although they all trained their patience while trying to explain new technology to Steve they also knew it was useless at times. Some things were just too much. It was easier for him to understand the new military equipment because it also took his mind off how much he didn’t fit into this society anymore. Adapting to this strange life would be a long process for him. James doubted that he would ever really let go of what he knew until some parts of his past still existed. Their friendship would never be the same, but as stubborn as he was he would not accept it. James was sure that Steve was lead on by Sharon while envisioning Peggy. It definitely wouldn’t surprise him.   
As he went out to search for someone to explain the computer program for him Emma drove for miles away from Shield and especially away from Steve.  
Emma had run from the building to her car and back to the village. Luckily most of her things were still packed so she could just grab them and run. If Steve followed her he wouldn’t find her, he didn’t have a right to follow her. Not anymore. All the lies burned away at her, while she sped out of the village. For hours she drove without direction until her car ran out of fuel. The woman at the diner had been wrong. They wouldn’t work things out. Steve was a lost cause. Their relationship even more so. Emma had not yet allowed further tears to fall down her cheeks. How could he have betrayed her the same way Scott had? How could be have been such a coward to not tell her! Irritated at herself she walked along the side of the road. The car was left abandoned on the motorway. She wouldn’t allow it to be easy. No, if Steve wanted to see her, or anyone else, then they would have to work for it. This was her game now. Not theirs anymore. Steve had gone too far.   
After an hour or two of continuous trudging along the street and waving away cars that wanted to offer her a ride she finally found a gas station with a small diner. A giant glass of water would be grand now. Even better would be a giant glass of water and a big bowl of ice cream. Sweat ran down her forehead as she allowed herself to enjoy the cold air as she stepped in through the glass doors. Other than the staff there were only a few truckers and a handful of people just waiting to pay their tanking fee. The regular in and out of a small shop in the middle of nowhere. She could feel eyes on her as she sat down at the counter to order a large water. Two men sat a few places away at the counter drinking their beer, while three others devoured their lunch at a small table. It was a shabby little place, but it was better than none at all. Maybe from here she could walk to another small town or catch a ride to the next inn. Other than a silly little human she wouldn’t have to fear being raped or mauled, as she could take any of them down. The Shield combat training in addition to her X-men training combined with her abilities would make her more of a threat than them. Good thing she had always put high value in her education.  
“What can I do for you, honey?” the middle aged man behind the counter asked her. He seemed amused about something, but Emma chose to ignore it. Probably she was just the only woman to come in and sit in such a shabby place. Not that she cared what he was amused about.   
“Large water and ice cream, if you have any.”   
“water is no problem, but we don’t run anything sweet here. In fact, you are the sweetest thing I have seen in here for weeks”, he winked at her as he passed a large glass of water over the counter. The other men laughed boomingly as if the waiter’s words had been the funniest in the world. Unimpressed she gulped down her water and motioned for him to refill it. As he refilled her drink another man came into the room. He smirked at the other men and went to stand at the bar. The flannel he wore was unbuttoned at the top revealing a stained, greasy white undershirt which was half in and out of his pants. Before he even said a word a beer stood within his reach so Emma assumed that he was a regular.  
"Carl, did you try the club? You look like one of them went rough on you", cried one of the men at the table with his mouth full, spraying food everywhere. His companions laughed at this and stared expectantly at him.  
"Yeah, been there. Man, those girls can do things. Next time I'll try the one with the tail" he winked at them and gulped down his beer. "She looks like a right firecracker. If I'd known mutants were this good at it, then I'd have done that a lot earlier." Mutants. Mutants prostituting themselves? Emma had not heard of that before, but she could imagine it was pretty bad as many were quite sensitive with their mutations? How dare these people use them like that? Anger boiled in her stomach as she saw a thin wedding band on his finger and she slammed her glass down on the counter. Surprised the men turned to look at her, while she clenched her hands around the shards in her fists. A tremor erupted from her shattering all the glasses and windows.   
“Where you having fun? Using women? Betraying your wife?” she shouted at them and stood up trying to contain her powers. If things got out of hand, then Shield would be here faster than she could run.   
“What’s it to you, sweetheart? That aint your business”, his voice sounded a lot tougher than he probably felt. Emma could see him slightly tremble as she fixed her glare upon the man called Carl. His disgusting looks and behaviour didn’t make Emma back away. Before he could even do anything about it she punched him square in the face and brought him to the ground by pulling him off his feet. Glaring at his suddenly so small form she pushed her heel down on his throat.   
“Now tell me. Where is this Club you were talking about?” An angry smile tore at her lips as she raised her head to glance at the other men. Her eyes roamed from one to the other as they were all immobilized by fear. Only after their friend Carl gave a pathetic squeak as she pushed down further on his throat one blurted out that it was a few miles down the road and called the Hellfire Club.  
“Good, and remember fellas. Don’t cheat on your wife or girlfriend.” Stepping away from Carl, she smiled sweetly at the men and left the diner. If it were up to her they wouldn’t get off the hook so easily, but there were more important matters. With new found energy she took off in the direction of the club. The afternoon sun burnt down on her usually so light skin. When she finally made it to the Hellfire Club she was unsurprised to see many vehicles in the parking lot. The sign at the side of the road was subtle, but Emma suspected that they worked by spreading the word rather than drawing in customers from the road. As she approached the building she already heard whistles and lewd shouts of seemingly drunk men. The man at the door looked down at her apprehensive, but let her in after reviewing her ID quickly. She went through a long hallway with velvet walls, which led to a staircase going down. The room she then stood in had a high ceiling and was quite big. At one end there was a big stage on which a woman was dancing around in her underwear swinging her tiger-tail around in what Emma supposed was a sexy swirl. The left side of the room was covered with multiple curtains along the wall, but she could see people moving behind them, quickly she averted her eyes to a long bar at the other end of the room.   
Apprehensive she moved towards the bar and sat down on one of the chairs. The barman looked at her slightly surprised but smiled at her.   
“What can I do for you? Are you waiting for someone?” Emma stared at him, then smiled slightly. She didn’t want to get kicked out for being rude before she even got to know anything.   
“Any Cocktail, and no, I am not waiting for someone. A whisper told me about this”, she winked at the dark haired man and lay her elbows on the counter to rest her chin on the palm of her hand.  
“It’s unusual for a lady to come in here alone. You know we aren’t that kind of club, right?” He placed a glass of water in front of her, then proceeded in mixing a brightly coloured cocktail.   
“I am not a lesbian, if that is what you think, and I am not here for the ‘show’. I am my own show.” Greedily she gulped down the water. Her bright red face and skin was a clear give away to her march through the sun. It was very considerate of him which surprised Emma immensely. Maybe she could do this. Be nice to this man that works in this strange place. Scott and Steve would never believe where she was. They wouldn’t even consider looking in this kind of place. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. He threw his head back and laughed loudly attracting some curious glances.   
“Man, you’re one of the good ones. What’s your power?”   
“Oh, I have a special power. I’ll tell you, if you tell me your name.” she winked at him and reached for the cocktail he placed in front of her. Swiping her tongue over her lips, she slowly took the straw into her mouth and sucked lightly, hollowing out her cheeks. Her eyes found his and she stared at him through her long lashes. She let the sweet taste linger a second on her tongue, then she shallowed and raised her head again licking at her lips.   
“I’m Tyler, and you?”, his voice seemed slightly heavy, but then he grinned again and shook his head at her.   
“Emma, and I am a telepath and can turn myself into diamond.”  
“Nice, we don’t have any telepaths here, more visually mutated girls.”   
“You can’t really tell me they’re doing this out of their own free will”, she could only just keep her disgust to herself. As she glanced around she saw some women prancing about on the dance floor and another woman had taken the stage. She had long black hair and big, black wings. From her knee high boots up to the corset she was covered in leather, while sensually stroking her body with her wings. Of course it was highly sexual and a performance for the men, but Emma watched intently as she took another sip of her cocktail. The way the woman moved as she flew around the stage. It was a sensual dance that she let these people witness. There was nothing obscene about it, of course the outfit was something for a fetishist, but her gliding across the stage seemed so relaxed and comfortable with her own body. Emma was drawn in by her comfort and slowly reached out in her mind to this woman’s. A sudden heat overcame her body, a sensual pride in knowing that these men all wanted her, but couldn’t have her, a pride in knowing that you changed someone’s view on mutants, but also a heated sexual desire from being watched and fawned over by all these people.   
“That’s Pegasus. She loves the stage, loves proving them wrong. I think you can see yourself that she isn’t up there because she has to.” His seriousness startled her, as her eyes floated back to Tyler. She could see how tense his jaw was and could already hear his doubt whether or not she was there to close the club down or if she was some kind of activist against stuff.   
“I can see that, everyone can” she said softly and ran her thumb through the little water droplets on her glass. Carefully she took another sip and started to let her mind wonder around the room. Most thoughts were crude and about sex, but she caught some of the girls and they seemed oddly at ease. No fear or anger at what was going on, but a tingle of power and sexiness with a comfortable atmosphere.   
“Do you need a place to stay? We give temporary shelter to passing through mutants. Some of the girls like to stay. It’s safer here then outside.” His eyes roamed over her dishevelled form, then placed his hand carefully on hers giving it a soft squeeze. His hand didn’t linger on hers and he then refilled her empty glass of water.   
“A place to rest doesn’t actually sound that bad. I’ve been on the road all day” hesistantly she weighed her options, but this really did seem like a reasonable place even if the “work” wasn’t what she was used to.   
“I’ll call Shaw. He’ll show you around and will show you which room you’re in. I wouldn’t mind another visit from you though” his grin returned to his face as he reached for the phone. Emma glanced around again as he called for this “Shaw” and then tended to the other clients there. When she had stepped into the place she had felt out of her comfort zone and came with an anger at these people which was absolutely unnecessary. Now that she had spoken to Tyler and got an overall view of the place she as well started to feel quite comfortable.  
A middle aged man in a casual dark blue suit stepped up to her, leaning against the counter.   
“You must be Emma, Tyler spoke so highly of you I wanted to pick you up myself.” His soft tune ran over her with ease, as she smiled slightly at him. If she needed to impress this man for a place to sleep then so be it.   
“I am,” her voice was just as well trained in the art of comforting conversation. He was a businessman, but Emma had worked with too many men to know how the game worked.   
“I am Sebastian Shaw, the owner of the Hellfire. Would you like to follow me? I’ll show you around.” He extended his hand in a formal fashion with an easy grin on his face. Emma took his hand slowly and let herself glide off the chair. She followed Shaw to a side door, which had a staircase going back up. Several doors lined up on one side of the room, while the other seemed to be a common area. Costumes and clothes everywhere. There was a large window with several desks in front of it, some empty and some with sewing machines on them. Then there were large plush sofas and armchairs, but also bookcases and a pool table. At the far end of the room was an open kitchen area with a large table and as many chairs as possible fit around it.   
There were only a few people there, lounging in their pyjamas on the sofas.   
“Guys, this is Emma. She’ll be staying the night. Melody the second bunk in your room should be free, Emma will stay with you.” With an excited nod a small brunette jumped up and ran towards them. Shaw smiled at her antics and gave Emma a slight clap on the shoulder.   
“Enjoy yourselves ladies and get some rest”, with a nod he then turned and left them there. Emma was surprised at how casual all of this worked. They hadn’t even asked for any ID, except at the front door, but she suspected that that was more of a usual check.   
“I am Melody, nice to meet you Emma! Come on, I’ll show you my room!” Melody took Emma’s wrist in her small hand and tugged her towards a door. For such a small woman she had quite the strength, but Emma decided to not mind the exaggerated happiness radiating off of her. She just needed a ned for the night, so she should be nice to the person sharing their room with her, a stranger. The room she was dragged in was pretty, but a mess. Emma wasn’t sure how only one person could have so much stuff. If she had thought that the room outside was filled with clothes and costumes, then this was a department store. Only at the second glance she realized that most of the pieces were unfinished. Melody started moving things off the second bed and onto other already piled objects. She laughed joyously at Emma’s expression and then sat down on her own bed.   
“I like making costumes for the girls here. I go out as well, but not as often as the others. I am less spectacular.” Melody tied her hair up in two high pigtails. Her curls framing her face loosely. She picked up a lacy white night dress and started sewing on small straps by hand. Emma watched her fascinated and slowly sat down on the bed.   
“You make all these?”  
“Not all the costumes, but I guess I am a bit of an overachiever.” Shaking her head, she thread the needle through the soft bodice.   
“That’s amazing.” Emma stared at her amazed, but also curious. What did she mean she was less spectacular than the others?   
“Thanks!”   
“What do you mean you are not spectacular enough?”   
“I don’t have fancy ears or tails or wings. I just sing and guide water. I prefer to be here and make the costumes for the others, but I join the fancy shows” she spoke so light hearted about this that Emma could not not believe her. She was so sweet as she sat there and worked absentmindedly at the sheer costume. It really was beautiful.   
“And is Melody your real name or is it a stage name? Sorry, that I am so nosy” Emma blushed slightly, but her curiosity got the best of her and Melody did sound like an unusual name.   
“It’s my stage name. My real name is Jennifer, but I really don’t like it, so everyone calls me Melody. Most girls here prefer their stage name to their real name. It also makes us feel more bad ass” she laughed, then put down the night dress, placing a pair of panties and a bra with the same lace and frill on top of it. “I like to make these. It’s so creative, but most of the time I envision different people wearing them and sometimes it just doesn’t feel right to see some people wearing them. I bet this would look cute on you, if you didn’t have a sunburn. Would you like some cream against that? You must be aching all over, maybe a cold shower first. Oh my god, so sorry I ramble when I am excited. I haven’t had a roomie for a long time!”   
Emma was a bit overwhelmed by all of this, but Melody seemed so sweet and caring, just like everyone else she had met here so far.   
“Yeah, a shower and some after sun would be perfect.” With a nod she jumped up and dragged Emma up from the bed, back outside and towards a different door. The bathroom behind it wasn’t huge, but very spacious with a large shower and bathtub. Melody took a large fluffy towel out of a cupboard and thrust it into her arms.   
“Do you mind if I come in again while you shower? I’ll bring you some comfy clothes.”   
“Of course you can, we’re both women, we know what it looks like.” Emma grinned at her, then got undressed and slowly moved into the shower. The cold water hit her like an icy knife, but she revelled in the feeling of slowly cooling down and suddenly she realized just how tired she was. Although the water beat down on her she stood a while in the shower staring ahead, taking in everything that had happened that day. Steve’s betrayal, her flight from Shield, her terrorizing of some disgusting men, her walking into this club and even deciding to stay. Faintly she heard the door open and Melody stepping inside to bring her some clothes and her leaving again. After what felt like a lifetime Emma decided she had cooled down enough and stepped out of the shower. Carefully she dried herself off and smiled   
as she saw the tube of after sun next to the sink. Emma lathered her body with the cool cream, waited a few minutes and then put the loose T-Shirt and pyjama pants on. After drying her long blonde hair, she stepped out of the bathroom and went back to the room she shared with Melody.   
“Thanks for the cream and the clothes” Emma said quietly as she sat down on the bed. A yawn escaped her before she could hold it back and Melody giggled and motioned for her to lie down.  
“You must be knackered, rest. I’ll show you some things tomorrow if you want to and introduce you to some of the others.”   
“That would be nice” she softly said as she crawled under the blanket. Shivering she curled herself in on herself as she thought back to what she had witnessed that morning. A slow tear ran down her cheek as she thought about it. Not being able to stop it anymore she let her tears fall freely down her face. This was it. Steve and her. It was over. Her soft sniffles must have alerted Melody as a soft touch to her hair turned into a slow stroking. Emma had always been the one taking care of others, it was what she was best at, but this was nice. Melody didn’t ask her any questions, but when Emma turned towards her Melody lay down next to her, holding her as Emma let out all her misery. Then slowly she fell asleep in Melody’s arms feeling safer than she had in quite a while.   
The next morning Emma woke up alone. Melody’s bed was empty too, but she could see that it had been slept in. She was slightly embarrassed about the night before, but she was also grateful to Melody for being so kind and not asking any questions. Emma heard muffled chattering through the door. Taking her time to get up she stretched her sore body and left the room. There at the large table sat a half a dozen girls including Melody and the girl she had seen on stage. Pegasus. A chorus of good mornings greeted her and Melody patted the chair next to her. Slowly Emma pattered to them and sat down, smiling sheepishly at the other girls who also all wore oversized pyjamas or big fluffy things. It made her feel a lot more comfortable to see them also wearing their night wear.   
“How did you sleep?” one of them asked her nicely while passing the coffee down to another girl.   
“Good, thanks” Emma replied with a slight smile. She glanced at all the food on the table and hesistantly took a roll and started to butter it. The girls chatted amiably while munching their breakfast and drowning themselves in coffee. They especially wanted to know about her own powers and she was happy to answer those questions. Not one of them asked them asked her how she came to the Hellfire and why. Emma suspected that most of the people there had their own little misery tale as to why they were there. After being stuffed with savoury and sweet breakfast Melody pulled her up from the chair and insisted on showing her around. Emma was surprised at how large the place actually was. They started with the floor below. Behind the stage was a small area for the stage workers and for costume changes. The stage itself was even larger once you stood on it and Emma was surprised at how far one could see from there. It gave an overview of the whole club-area. Then she took her to the curtains at the side of the room and revealed Emma’s suspicions. Behind the sheer curtain was a large sofa-like bed with plush cushions and a small table for ordered drinks. Melody explained that some of the girls offered “private shows” in which they would dance for the client and maybe blow them or something like that. Everything was ruled in the contract and if anyone tried to become too handsy then the girls could scream as they were only separated by the thin curtains. She was surprised to hear that the girls themselves decided whether or not anything more sexual than the shows was in the deal. They could also ask to alter the contracts at any time. Melody gushed about Shaw and how friendly he was to all of them and how well they were treated. They had it a lot better than the usual seedy clubs and brothels. Leaving the club-area Melody took her to a smaller collection of rooms which were Shaw’s private area and then outside behind the club where they had a small area with many chairs and a grill.   
“So, do you like it here?” Melody asked slyly as they went back inside to escape the high sun.   
“It’s so different than I thought it would be.” Emma admitted and was glad when they sat back down in Melody’s room.   
“Would you do me a favour and try on the new lingerie I made last night? I think it would really suit you. I’m sorry if that goes a bit too far then just say so, but it might just fit you and I am curious”, before Melody could ramble on Emma laughed slightly and nodded. After all that Melody had done for her this was the least she could do and she had never been ashamed of her body. So Emma undressed and carefully out on the lacy set and the matching negligee. The material felt so soft against her skin, even the lace didn’t feel the least bit scratchy. Emma was surprised at how cute, but also sexy she looked as she stared at herself in the tall mirror. Through the sheer white lace, you could just make out her rosy areolas, while the panties left hardly anything to imagination.   
“Oh dear, it’s a bit loose under your bust and the panties are just that bit not enough material to be considered decent” Melody mumbled and before Emma could say a word she had turned into a human mannequin as Melody held fabrics against her bottom and stuck needles into the material underneath her bust. Emma stood still, patiently waiting for the okay to move again as Melody worked around her. In the mirror she saw a different Emma than before. This woman wore sexy lingerie and felt the need for risk, but also comfort. Comfort provided by a friendly surrounding and this bubbly young woman. Maybe she could stay another night or two, just to cover her tracks a bit. From here on she could only go forwards and Emma really didn’t want to risk going into high security cities. Shield had no business knowing where she was. Steve would cope on his own, just as he had been now.   
A knock on the door startled the two women out of their trance and a familiar voice called out to ask for permission to come in. Melody handed Emma a robe to put on over the lingerie, while she opened the door for Shaw.   
“How are you feeling today, ladies?”   
“We are good” Emma smiled at him and sat down on the bed crossing one leg over the other.   
“Fantastic. I just wanted to know if you were planning on staying a bit longer, or if you wanted to leave us already?”   
Melody started bustling about her work space, but Emma could see that she was just as keen to know the answer as seemed Shaw. Emma sighed softly, but gave both a slight smile.  
“I thought I might stay another few days and then head on. I really don’t want to intrude. I just thought I’d watch the show tonight to get a feeling for it. To understand it more.”  
“Brilliant. Come see me if there is anything else” Shaw said and then left the room again. If either of them was surprised about her decision, then they didn’t show it. Melody just beamed at her and continued fussing over her and the costume.   
In the evening Emma had again taken a seat in the back at the bar and watched the girls perform on stage. Not all of it was highly sexual, some were just artistic and fascinating to watch. She hardly realized Shaw approaching her. Again he wore a nicely tailored blue suit and leaned against the bar next to her.   
“You look intrigued.”  
“I am fascinated. They are very classy. Artistic.” Emma sipped at her martini keeping her eyes on the stage.  
“Would you like to try it?”  
“What?” Taken aback Emma spluttered and stared at him. She had never done anything like it before.   
“Don’t be afraid. Melody told me about the costume and has been perfecting it ever since this morning. She must be finished by now. Also our guests are informed about someone new coming on stage, so they don’t expect a master performance. It’s just an offer”, he grinned at her and the first time Emma saw the intent in his grin. Of course he would ask, he was the bloody manager of this club, but he had also let Emma stay for free and eat for free. It was just an offer. An offer to do something different. Something no one would expect of her. She had never been shy in the bedroom, poor Steve must have had trouble keeping up with her in the begging and Scott knew that as well. Her degree in sexual psychology came with some useful information, but they also both knew that outside of the bedroom she was different. Still demanding, but less powerful. They both mistaken her for a timid girl with the occasional fire spit, but she would prove them wrong even if neither of them was there to see it.   
“I’ll give it a go.” She grinned at him saucily and left him standing to go upstairs to see if Melody was finished with altering the lingerie. When she stepped inside she was ambushed with questions by the small brunette. After calming Melody down and informing her that she would in fact try it there was no stopping anymore. Melody ordered her to change into the white set and then forcefully pushed her down on a chair and applied some make up to her face. The excitement radiating off Melody was bordering on nauseating, but Emma sat still as Melody used her as a canvas for her work. Although Emma yelped a few times at the rough pulling of her hair she had to admit that the end product was so much better than what she would have achieved. Emma felt incredibly sexy and sultry in this outfit, there was no room for cuteness in this outfit, and she was glad for it. She was fed up with cute. Melody bundled her up in a bathrobe and took her downstairs to Shaw who was waiting for them behind the stage. They quickly agreed on a song that would play and Emma decided just to dance for them. Shaw stepped out on the stage to announce the potential new girl, but also mentioned that everything would be completely improvised as she had been more or less put on the spot. He didn’t mention her name, but as he beckoned her out she did start to feel very nervous. She shrugged off the bath robe and went on stage, while Shaw left it on the other side. The heels of the knee high white boots she had been forced into clicked with every step she took.  
As the first few notes of the song played she was unsure of what to do. Everyone was staring at her, waiting expectantly for her to start moving. Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath and started swaying and moving to the music. Nancy Sinatra’s these boots were made for walking was just perfect. It wasn’t too slow, but it also didn’t slam her way in the door. The movements to the song came easily as she put on a show for the men. Every now and then she gave a sly wink at one of them to make them feel as if the song was actually about them. Surprisingly the longer the song went on the more comfortable she got, teasing the staring crowd and revelling in the feeling it gave her. As the song ended a soft laugh escaped her at having done something nobody would have expected from her. Shaw came back on stage and gave her a short friendly hug. After giving her the signal to leave the stage he kept riling up the crowd asking them if they had liked what they had seen, and then sent out their last official act of the evening.  
"So, do you know who you want to be out there?" he asked her grinning and Emma could already hear him setting up a contract in the back of his mind and she didn’t mind. Maybe she’ll just do this for a little while. Tease men. Maybe even lessen her irritation at them.   
Emma glanced at him, then stroked over the thin, white material of the sheer dress, over her lace panties and bra. Scott had always called her his princess and swore to treat her that way. Steve promised to treat her right. Both wronged her and both would regret lying to her. She was no longer their little naive princess. No, she was her own person. A queen.  
"The White Queen." He looked slightly taken aback at her serious tone, but nodded as Emma raised her head smirking. With a brisk stride she left the back of the stage and went back to the room she now shared with Melody. They would have a great time and there was not a chance in hell that either Steve or Scott found her here, and if they did. Well, they would be very surprised.   
As the crowd went wild with the most sexual act of the evening one middle aged man left the building to meet a young woman outside on the side of the rode. Her whole body was blue and scaly and she wore no clothes. Her red hair stood out against the rest of her unusual body as she stared cautiously at the strong, middle aged man before her. His face had sharp angles and gave the overall impression of someone not that cheery.  
“Well done, Mystique. You led our precious little bird right where she needs to be. Very well done indeed. No one suspects a thing.” With a satisfied grin he sat in an old car, waiting for her to scramble in after him. Yes. Everything had gone just according to his plans. Emma Frost, the White Queen, was exactly where she needed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I was in a flow and couldn’t stop writing. I know many weren’t happy with the end of the last chapter and many won’t like this, BUT remember that this is only part one of the story. In total there are 3 parts and I will put a note up in this as soon as the first chapter of the next part is up. I really do appreciate feedback even if it is just “OMG I HATE SHARON” (yes, I do really REALLY enjoy that, haha). I hope you stick with me even though I take a lot of time to update   
> Thanks a lot for reading! <3


	11. AN

**Author's Note:**

 

Dear readers, the new chapter is up as Red, White and Blue: Death of the Winter Soldier. I wrote 3 drafts of the new chapter and never liked it, hence the long wait. Don't be afraid of the title. 

I hope you enjoy it and comment :) 


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